When Jesus' Living and Leading Looks So Different...

How Jesus lived and leads is so often different from the way I thought it would look.

And so it was with the disciples and people of the days He walked the earth-lands.

I'm seeing in a more real way the struggle and disappointment many faced as they walked with Jesus. The struggle to believe and the tension of the heartstrings to trust the heart of Jesus when life makes little or no sense.

The Romans were a people that were ruthless, hard, and had little to no mercy and many were waiting for someone stronger to subdue them.
The disciples often wanted Jesus to sweep in and take over.

What did He say?
Love your enemies.  Do good to them that hate you.  Go the second mile.  My kingdom is not of this world.
And on it goes...

Peter even went so far as to kill a man in the garden only to catch the ear.  Jesus wasn't doing anything...
Fear settles in the hearts of many as Jesus, their leader, is crucified.  Why?  What happens to us??

Disillusionment.  Anger.  Disappointment.  settles in.  Many walk away.  Others follow, with questions.  Still others trust Jesus knowing He is the Messiah, even though they did not understand...

And, I too, want Someone bigger and stronger to right the wrongs, to subdue evil, to sweep in and take over...
And it often doesn't happen...

Disillusionment, anger, frustration grips my heart just as it did the disciples and others.  I have, in that moment, the choice of those long ago --- Will I walk away,  or stay, or believe the heart of Jesus and His words and trust Him, in the middle of questions and even disappointment?

Jesus just did not come like they thought a King or Messiah would come.  He did not live like they expected Him to.  And He did not lead in a way that they wanted Him to.

He called that of His followers... to live differently.

And so, it is today.

Will you trust Him when life hurts and makes little sense?
Do you believe He is good and has your good in mind?

Hard questions.  Real stuff.

But there is a Greater Truth and that Truth is... JESUS LOVES US!  HIS LOVE IS DEEP.

Let that love go deep in your heart and take root, again.  Believe it until it creates a new groove of thinking in your heart.

It's a journey.  A lifetime of understanding and learning of God and His love and learning to trust His heart towards us.

But the more we choose to believe, the stronger the root.

Love to you, my friends, my readers as you walk with God in the hard and easy. Sometimes we lose our way in the hard, it's hard to believe...  May someone fight for you, believe for you, walk with you when you can't...

And remember when you feel as if you're alone.... you're not - there's a Greater Truth, God never leaves or forsakes us.

May you know and 'taste of' Him who loves us so much He stretched His arms and gave His life.

Let's give Him ours.

The Cost of Beauty

Have you thought about beauty and maybe how beauty really looks??
Is is merely taking what is already beautiful and creating beauty with that?
Or is it maybe seeing beyond...?
Beyond the present situation to what something could be?

Beauty.
Flowers. Diamonds. Candles. Love. Joy. Radiant faces.

That's fun.  That's easy.

But what about the hard times?  The person who is hard to love?  The person who struggles to rest?
Is there beauty in that?  What about seeing beyond and fighting for the deeper things of life?
What about rejection, loneliness; is there any beauty in that?

Maybe not.  Hard times are not fun or beautiful; it's the outcome.  It's what can be produced in our hearts or another's heart that becomes beautiful.

What about getting involved in someone's life?  Jesus did.  He became involved in our world.  Our lives...

Sometimes beauty costs.
And...
Sometimes the cost is high.  very high.

The cost to live selflessly, giving up dreams, wishes, and desires, at times.
The cost to follow the commands of Jesus, loving when it's not easy.  Forgiving.
The cost for beauty and refinement, having those rough edges, planed.
The cost to become involved, to fight for another's heart and soul.

Jesus gave His all.  His life.
It cost Him misunderstandings.  betrayal.  helping others when He wanted to be alone with His Father.
It cost Him His life.

This time of the year, we stop and celebrate the fact that Jesus came as a baby.  We put up a manger scene.  We rejoice that the Messiah came to set us free. We are comforted that Immanuel, God with us, came.

He got involved in our world.
And it cost.
His life.  The ultimate sacrifice, once and for all.

I am grateful Jesus came.

It cost Him all.
Now it costs me...

We don't do the physical, daily sacrifices of offering an animal; but we have many opportunities to daily sacrifice - AND IT COSTS.

AND IT HURTS.

You give yourself to helping another and you may hear words of criticism instead of encouragement.
You pour yourself out for the sake of loving another, and someone says in some way... "It's not enough..."
You're in a role of leadership and the many opinions and criticism seem to be a dagger...
You expose a struggle or dare to be vulnerable and another doesn't seem to get you...
You want a moment of quiet with your Heavenly Father and someone comes 'banging' on your door.

It hurts.  We get scratched.

I have a quote that reminds me what it means to be involved in other's lives...
Sara Hagerty penned these words "Little did I know that most of the treasures within a person lay hidden below the surface waiting for a voice to  call it out.  Beauty in another requires participation."

I recently took a walk down a road and up a bank to cut some greens for a friend to add touches in her house this winter season.  There were weeds, briars, and some slippery muddy spots.

I got scratched.  It was awkward at times to not slip.  I cut red berries and there were thorns that pricked...

I was helping to create beauty for another, and it didn't always feel good.  But it was so worth it.

Not all of life is that basic.  But the picture I got a glimpse of is... SOMETIMES TO CREATE BEAUTY OR TO CALL OUT BEAUTY IN ANOTHER HURTS.

Sometimes to have beauty refined in our souls, hurts.

The misunderstandings.  the betrayal.  the criticism has the potential to create a beauty in our souls that is beyond our understanding.  A beauty that others will benefit from.

The hard also has the potential to harden.  To harden our hearts and put up walls.

It is a beauty that we cannot create or handle on our own, we must take our pain to the Father.  We must hold out our hands... the one with the pain, the other with being reminded of who we are in Him, His Greater Truth.

He, too, has scars.  Nail-pierced hands and feet that mark His costs.

My scratches will fade, but some are indelibly marked in our hearts.
Jesus knows.

He has permanent marks, too.

He endured pain to set us free.
Now our pain can set us free.

Free from self and selfishness.
Free from bondage and lies.
Free to live.
Free to be in Jesus!

Jesus has said and promised, that He will create beauty out of ashes.  He can take what is hard and ugly and create beauty.

We are NOT ALONE in this quest for beauty.
Jesus has said, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
He has promised His grace IS SUFFICIENT.

He gives more grace when the trials are greater.  As deep as our hard is, so is the depth of His grace; if we choose to see Him and lean on His understanding and trust His heart when our way is blinded with pain and sorrow.

Hard is meant for us to find God.  To search for what is truly life-giving and eternal.  To remind us, we need God.  REDEMPTION...

That is another form of beauty.

Beauty of soul. Beauty that lasts.
Beauty that hurts.

But beauty that is LIFE-GIVING.

Keep your hand in His.  He has promised that He will finish the work that He started in you.

Cost it does... but it is and will be WORTH IT!
HEAVEN.  Glorious Heaven.  Eternal beauty and bliss.  Jesus!

Of Blankets, Pillows, and Security

Our youngest was to go in for a dental surgery to take care of a number of cavities all at one time.  The man who called me to go over some pre-op information and was giving me instructions said he could bring a security along, like his favourite blanket or teddy, etc.

My mind went down this track...
He shouldn't get attached to something...  He'll be okay without his pillow...

You know, I read and was told in these parenting books to switch blankets so they don't become attached...  and we tend to make light of an older child who is still clinging...

But, I began to ponder (uh--oh :)) and wonder...

SECURITY...

We all like to sit on something secure.
We all want to know the ledge we are standing on will hold us as we look out over the edge to the vast scene below.
We struggle to trust our future to God, because we like to know...
We like to have a friend, husband, companion with us when we enter a crowd or new place.
We want to know where the bend or track will lead us...
We want security, to know something or someone is 'for-sure'.  I am no different than my sons who all chose something as a baby, toddler and young child that became theirs for comfort and security.

It is within us.

So, maybe the issue isn't that we don't have something for security, but that we transition our security from a thing to Someone.

The question becomes - Where is my security?  What am I basing my security on?
Is it in something that changes or can be taken away?  Or is it in Jesus who is never changing?

Jesus, who is a Rock.
Jesus, who said, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
Jesus, who said, "I am the same yesterday, today, forever."
He is our Fortress. Our strong Tower.

And so, I offered him the choice to take his pillow.
It is going with us...

That transition is a journey.  It is not an arrival moment.  Because today I may be secure in Jesus, but I am aware how easy I can switch to a visible, tangible something.

What/Who are you 'taking' with you today, in this moment?

The Ripple Effects from the Choices of the First Man and Woman

I am one who enjoys personality tests, a bit of counselling, inspirational talks, etc. because awareness brings understanding, which in turn, helps me to understand myself  (and you) a bit more.
So, in all of that, the fall of man from his perfect state has often intrigued me or caught my attention.

For it's in the fall that we can so often find the root or understanding to our struggles and issues.

Lucifer.
Beautiful.  The leader of the singers.
Song.

Is it any wonder that song is one thing that is often taken from our hearts in the midst of sorrow and pain.
He is a stealer of song and joy.  of praise and thanksgiving.

Lucifer means light-bearer.  In Isaiah 14:12, he is referred to as, O shining star.
Is it any wonder he hates light and why darkness can so easily overtake us?

Satan was cast out of Heaven.  He fell from the perfect and beautiful place because he wanted to be like God.
That is the same thing he put before Eve.  In Genesis 3:5... and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

So, it is for me today.  So often my need for power or recognition or anything that I think I must have, comes shrouded with... 'I want to be top.  I want recognition.  I know what's best.'  In essence I want to be god.  I want control.  I believe I know what's best...

Satan put before Eve the fruit of - You eat the fruit and you will know...  He tantalized her until she gave in.
And she took a bite...
She immediately knew something was wrong.  Her and Adam now knew good and evil.

So, it is for us today... Satan puts before us the lure of wanting to know...  just maybe.... and we take a bite...
... wanting to know how alcohol tastes?
... what do drugs do for me?
... if I could go shopping and find a perfect dress or shirt, then I will be happy.
... if this person would like me, I would fit in.
... if I find the right partner to marry, I will be complete.
... and the list goes on...
Yes, you will know more, but is it what you want to know?
Yes, you are making life work, but is it how you want it to work?

The Truth is WE NEED GOD.

Control.
Eve took control of her world that moment she took a bite.  She did not trust God.  And so, it is with us.  We want to control our world (or do I just say me?? :))  Can anyone else identify? We want what we think is good, just as Eve took what looked and WAS good.  God created only good, so I am sure the fruit was delicious.  And isn't that how a lot of life looks to us... good.  Satan has now made bad look good, and because good was how life was created to be, he tantalizes us with that, holding evil disguised before us and feeding our senses.

Blame.
Adam blamed Eve.  Eve blamed the serpent.  No one wanted to take responsibility for their actions and the consequences that followed.  And it's true, everyone had a part to play in that garden scene.

And so it is for you and me...

It's so easy to shift blame, but the truth is, we are all a part of the scene and until we take responsibility for the part we play, we will stay stuck.  The blame game keeps you in bondage, even in situations beyond your control or responsibility.  (This is a tender subject and one that is a process and has a lot more to it than I am going to write here...)

But I do know we must take our situation and pain to the Father, the One who loves and wants to whisper Truth in the ear of our heart.  He delights in redemption and healing.

Redemption can only take place as we are willing to stop blaming...

Consequences.
Lucifer was cast into a place that was prepared for him and his angel followers.  A place devoid of light.  He now shrouds all of his actions of darkness with a veil of light and taunts us with it, wanting us to yield.

What is the cost of the Fall for you and me??
thorns, thistles, pain, brokenness, death.

Death.  Yes, God said we would die...

Death in so many areas...
- physically
- to dreams
- some of our goals don't pan out the way we wanted them to
- to perfection
and the list goes on...

We are bombarded in so many ways to be like God.  To be a god in our eyes.  To make life work for us without God.

We long for perfection, for that was how we were created to be.
Our hearts ache for it and so when Satan dangles that fruit before our eyes and it looks so good...  oh, it's so hard to resist.

It's so easy to put on a facade, because oh, we want to look good.
It's so easy to push something under the carpet, because it hurts and we want all things good.
It's so easy to think a friend or partner in marriage will make me complete.

But the only way to perfection this side of heaven, is to admit our brokenness.
The only way to wholeness is to bring those broken pieces to our Father and place them in His hands; mourning and weeping over the loss of perfection.

We think we know better than God.  We lean towards taking care of ourselves, that seems to come without much effort.
It comes because of the choice of man and woman.

We yield because we believe we need to care for ourselves.  There is a void that longs to be filled and so we yield to fill it.
We yield because we fill that ache with something other than God...

shopping.
sports.
alcohol.
hobbies.
relationships.
etc...

And the thing is most of it is good.  Many of the things we fill our ache with are good things taken too far, just as the fruit Eve took was good.  We MUST have......... to feel good and satisfied.

But the ache remains.  It is only dulled for a time.

All the while God longs for us to come to Him.  To trust Him once again.

He says through a million ways and over and over...
I want you.
I want your heart.
Will you trust Me to be enough?

And He aches and longs for us to know Him as Redeemer and Saviour.
As Lover and Friend.

My friend, because of choices made, and because God told Adam and Eve that if you eat of the fruit you will die...  we know death and pain.

God is not a mean God.
He is a good God, because He told us and He keeps His word.
He is a good God because He gave us a choice, loved us in spite of our wrong choice, and is willing to redeem our mistakes; turning ashes into a beautiful thing.

We know evil and pain; darkness and death; because we ate of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil not because God is cruel.

Are you learning to trust the heart of God with your life and story??

A Saturday Bike and Train Ride

My dear husband loves to go places and biking is one of his interests to do.  On one of his excursions with the school students he discovered this bike and ride the rail.

The first train stop is in Akron and so we made plans to go and invited some of our dear friends to go along.

It was A+ excursion and one that will most likely be repeated.  So, if you like to bike, let us know, for we will go again. :)

listening and feeling the vibrations of the train