I Believe in the Sun Even When It's Not Shining

 

There are those days, those moments when the sun shines, the warmth is felt, all seems right in the world and faith and God seem near.  

There are also those days when the clouds hide the visibility of the sun and the day seems quite cloudy and uncertain.

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As I sat outside one morning as this day was dawning, it was raining, foggy, and the birds were chirping.  Life was happening and the day dawning just like yesterday, but that day started with the colour in the sky and the sun appearing.

I reflected.  This morning is no different in the day dawning, except that is was raining and foggy.  The fog hid the sun but that did not mean the sun wasn't still shining.

So it is with our storms and rain and Jesus.  

When I was in my darkest stormy nights, Jesus felt far away.  I felt forgotten and often wondered if He cared or even still loves me.  (Yes, it is my weakness as I associate care, presence with being valued and loved.)  Prayers seemed to go unheeded or answered.

Through that and looking back, I see ways God was navigating and very present even when I could not see it or the darkness hid Him, just like the foggy morning hid the rising sun.

Faith.  Faith is believing in the presence of the Son, Jesus, even when what I am walking through is hiding His presence and I cannot see His workings.

Another day. Another morning. Repeat.

I wonder if you have this same experience?  I suspect you do, for we humans have the same struggles they only have a different face, maybe a different way it is seen or experienced.

You know, sometimes it's real easy to have faith in Jesus, the mountain top feel.  But the reality is, there are times it really is not so easy.

We recently experienced the eclipse of the sun.  For a minute or three, the day got dark and the sun obstructed by the moon.  Light and warmth were obstructed as the moon passed between us and the sun. It was a glorious moment to witness, but when the 'sun' gets eclipsed in my life it's really not such a glorious moment to live out.  

Faith is a choice.  A decision and a learning to know the heart of God and to trust Him, even if.  Faith is a decision to learn to really know God and to believe Him whether the sun is shining or not.

These words are easier to type than to live out.  These words I don't write lightly but I write them because it is true and to keep reminding my own fragile human heart that God is still good in the stormy night as He is in the sunlit, heartfelt moments.

The words to the song, I believe in the sun even when it's not shining, I believe in a God even when I can't see Him were written and inscribed on the walls of a prison concentration camp.  There were inscribed with a choice to stay with God, to believe Him even in the darkest and meanest of times.  

I don't believe they were written lightly.  They were written with a specific, faith-filled choice to believe God for who He is.

And I do the same.

Is it dark for you today?  Have you walked away from the God who loves you and is still good in the hard?  Maybe it is only a shift in your heart to not believe God or to think He doesn't care or you don't matter?

I know I have, it's easy to do when the hard washes over and knocks us down.  But I have also come back to stay.  To find refuge under the wings of our Almighty Father and to choose to believe His words of truth in a moment that screams otherwise.

Faith isn't faith until something doesn't make sense and you still stay with Jesus, trusting Him  and choosing to believe in His love and goodness; even if. 

Scatter Seeds, Scatter - Good Things

 

Fall is a time, as it gives way to winter, that seeds from many plants and flowers scatter.  You see them blowing in the wind, birds come to eat of their fare and spread them.

They lie dormant in the many dark and cold days and nights of winter until spring comes and the warmth of the sun stirs them to life.

Spring is a time of planting seeds and what we plant grows.  What we plant takes root.  What laid quiet and dormant becomes visible.

Be intentional with what you scatter, what seeds you sow as you go about your day.  For what you plant, what you sow, what you leave behind will at some point become visible.

What do you want to bear fruit?  What legacy do you want to follow you?  What words would you like said about you?

Scatter seeds of kindness.

Sow the seeds of love and grace.

Plant goodness and truth.

Give comfort where tears and pain are.  

Give a hug, share a smile, lean in towards the one you want to walk away from.

Rejoice in the victory of another and the gift they bring to the world.

Share Jesus, the One who is Life, for that is the best gift you can give to anyone. 

We all want kindness and care.  We thrive when someone sees beyond the dead branches of our actions to tend with care and bring to life the good that lies within.  Fight comparison and take care of the root of feeling threatened by the blooming and planting of another.

Leave seeds in unexpected places.  Give them to someone you would not normally seek out.  Leave the seeds wherever you go.

We control the results with what we plant with our actions today.  We're not entirely in control of the results, just like a garden, I plant flowers, vegetables and the weeds come in as well.  But the result is still vastly different if I let the weeds go or pull them out...  what we do makes a difference!

The key is... spend time with the Gardener and it will make all the difference in the seeds you sow and plant.  Don't focus so much on the seeds, but in spending time in the garden with the Gardener.  He'll tell you many things.

The Passion Week - Jesus, The King Who Comes to Save

 

This week, the Passion Week of Jesus' life, is one that knew deepest pain and agony and the highest joy of resurrection and life. 

Jesus entered Jerusalem with people shouting praises, rejoicing in the King that was riding on the donkey and wanting Him to save them.  They wanted a king to save them from the Roman rule.  He came to save them as their King, but it wasn't in the way they were expecting it to happen.

He entered and cleansed, first the temple and then touching hearts.  He spent the next several days in conversation with people and as the interactions continued the religious people became quite disturbed.  And because they didn't really understand the way of Jesus and how he really wanted to save them, by Friday they were shouting, "Crucify Him!"  The disappointment of not a political and physical saving, led them to want to do away with Him.  Jesus was wanting to save them from their own concoctions and ideas of following Him.  He wanted them to know true freedom in the midst of hard storms and unkind, even brutal times. He was calling them to salvation, preparing them for what He came to do, to give His life so they could have life.  Many resisted the invitation and the reaction to that, indignation and to get rid of Jesus.  So deep was their resistance and hatred that it was revealed in their exchange of a rebel for the crucifying of Jesus.  But that's what Jesus came to do, exchange His life for the life of each one of us and it started with Barabbas.

Mary, pours out her heart through the perfume and anointing Jesus, preparing Him for what was to come, His burial.

Judas sells Jesus.  I wonder what his fears really were, his disappointments that led him to betray the One he did life with for three years; the One who loved him deeply??  What are my fears that lead me to walk away from the same One who loves me and to try and 'control' an outcome?

Jesus, spending an evening celebrating the Passover with His disciples, of which He will fulfill for the last time.  He was the lamb to be slain and His blood spilt once and for all.  The Greatest serves; stooping and washing the feet of each man who he has walked with and did life with; teaching them His way and now teaches them what it looks like to serve and live with each other.  To be great is to give of your life for each other.  The serving and giving of His life to His disciples was met with deep, deep pain; and yet, He still loved and served.  This way of Jesus convicts me deeply.

The night of wrestling in the garden, then to be met by his friend Judas who betrayed Him in deep ways and later another, Peter, denies knowing Him to protect himself.  Oh the things and ways I turn to to protect myself in moments of fear and when life is not looking like I thought it would or should... 

And then Friday, the day Jesus gave His life.  Broken, bleeding, alone, and giving the gift of salvation to a thief beside Him; cries out for water and experiences the depth of being forsaken.  He, the King, who could've saved Himself didn't, to save us.  But the saving looked, oh so different than what so many imagined it to be.  And to be honest, my saving today still so often looks different than what I imagine it to be...

The sorrow of the disciples, the heartache of His mother Mary and others went deep as they watched His life ebb away and He takes His last breath.  Jesus told them that He must go, but still, in this moment, darkness filled the land, deeper than they had ever known, as they grappled with who He is and the reality of this moment.

Saturday, the next day, they were filled with fear, grieving and mourning.  I can imagine just a bit what they might have been experiencing, for I too, know the deep agonizing disappointment and the grappling of trying to make sense of what doesn't make sense.  This space, this day of grappling with hope buried, touches us too.

And we have the command to seal the tomb of Jesus and to guard it. Let's keep Jesus in and people out.  Only... Jesus cannot be contained!  Man will not stop life.  We can guard and keep our hearts, managing it or trying to; but in doing so we will not stop Jesus and the life He wants to give; we only have a choice to make... will we make excuses and stories to fit our agenda like the chief priests or will we go and tell others like the women did??

Then comes Sunday, the day Jesus arose, opening the grave for us to see that He wasn't laying there silent, but all the while on Saturday He was conquering death, triumphing over it.  Sunday revealed that to us.  Sunday reveals that death does not have the final say!  Oh friends, this is the best news and the greatest truth to anchor our Fridays and Saturdays in!

Sunday, the morning that has revealed to the world an empty grave is one we can choose to believe will happen in our darkest Fridays and Saturdays.  To know death is to experience life.

As the women approached the tomb in their grief, they met the Master.  Thinking Him to be the gardener they asked where he took their Saviour.  Jesus said, "Mary."  With that, Jesus broke through her grief and interrupted it with His presence.

To really know life and living, we must first know death and darkness.  To really understand one, we learn to know the other.

For Mary, the depth of grief gave way to the joy of seeing her risen Master; to see life!

Now, if you're like me, that is not something I run towards, to know death, dying, and darkness.  But I have learned in my darkest dark that I have experienced the truest life.

To fully live and to fully know life, we must also know death and darkness.  A dying to live, is the way of Jesus; and it is the fullest life.

May you, not only today, in this week, but in each day and in every moment; know the Master, the Risen Saviour who comes by to interrupt your grief with His presence and the hope of life; His life!  He is the King who still comes to save!

The Space of In Between, Of Waiting For the Next Season

 

There's this space of waiting, anticipating the next season.  It's the in between.  In between brown branches bare and branches filled with green.  In between a resting, a waiting and bursting with the colours of life and fruit.  It's a mixture of sun, blue skies and bare branches awaiting life to burst from their arms.

Sometimes, I find myself in this space.  In between my dreams and the living them out.  In between my passion and seeing how they are used.

It's so easy to push through, to plow ahead; and there is a time to 'do' something, to make it happen.  But I am realizing anew that sometimes I need to wait.  The waiting isn't a season of doing nothing, but a time of being, of letting the life form and take shape.

This in between season of waiting for warm, of waiting for buds and full bloom; is a time no one can rush or push; it must happen.  And most times, it happens slowly.  

One morning I notice the greening of the woodlands, the trees take on a hue of colour.   How did this happen?  When did it take place?

I couldn't see it, but life was stirring within the trees, in the ground; and slowly life became visible.

In my own life, there is this same waiting, this same space of things that cannot be rushed, pushed, or maneuvered; they happen.

A dream and passion that you and I carry.  

Walking through seasons of hard that cannot be hurried or fixed right now.  The choosing of what a loved one may choose cannot be forced, it must be left to be wrestled through and bloom in its time.

A habit that I want broken now, a change of thoughts, lies, and wrong beliefs.  Sometimes I make the right choice and other times, well, it may feel more like a step backwards.

The warm sun, the days that tantalize us with promise of summer and the cold winds of spring can cause an angst, an impatience in this in between season, this waiting for life to unfold.

Waiting is hard.  But waiting is a needed season.

I'm a bit of 'fixer' or should I say, I have a heart and passion to walk with others and offer encouragement.  When something is broken or hurts, I like to find ways to mend.  But in all reality, it's not always possible and it really is not my workings because I am not the Saviour; it is the workings of the Holy Spirit.  I can speak words of life, but the workings of that is still a process and I can't hurry it along or make it bloom and bring forth fruit in my life or yours.  It's a waiting, a continuing to be and to allow space for the inner working of life, of the Spirit.  Just like it was and continues to be done in my own heart and mind.

Growth happens slowly, but it happens.

The growth in our lives, often happens more slowly than in leaps and bounds. We wait after we plant seeds.  We wait for nine months after an egg is fertilized and a baby begins.  Growth happens slowly but surely.

If you find yourself in this space, turn your gaze towards Jesus, soak in the 'Son' and let the growth take root, grow and bloom in the right time.

A season of waiting is a time of growing roots, of letting the little moments form you, the sun and the rain are all a part of the process of growth.

Maybe you have a dream and it feels like you get more roadblocks and detours than you do green lights.  Maybe the no's are all you hear and you wonder if this dream is even of God.

I don't know.  I wonder this myself.  But I do know God wants me and you to remember there is always a time for blooming and the process before, the in between space of slow growth, is necessary and a way of life and to life. 

The life stirring within, the workings of slow growth, are the workings of resilience, endurance, patience and really for me, I see, it reminds me that it's not in my strength, my navigatings that make it possible, but it is the Spirit of God and His timing of when blooming, of dreams and passions finding their way to full blooming, happens.

It's about Him and not me.

And in a small way I realize that dreams and passions can happen in ways that are different than how I would imagine them to be.  I think this is how I want it to look like or be and God says, "No, this is the way I want to use it."  Sometimes I believe, that the slow workings of growth happen so that I can adjust to the ways of God.

Also, as I reread the writings of my journals, I see this slow growth unfolding and I marvel at it all.  I marvel at my God who works within and in slow and sure ways.  He works in good ways and I'm learning to trust Him.  There are still moments, I wait with impatience, I may dig up the dirt a bit to 'help' it grow; but really, that only leads to stress and anxiety. 

Slow growth is a learning to rest, to trust the heart of God in my story and the chapters I find myself in.  It's enjoying the 'boring' sentences, the ones that help to understand and make the story more full.

God is good.  His workings of growth are good.

Life stirs within, that's where life really happens and what we see is only a result of this truest form of life within.

Winter is where something waits beneath - the whole story does not show.

In spring, the unseen, what was waiting beneath, becomes visible and bears fruit.

And what is unseen, the life within, determines what becomes visible.

I don't know where this finds you today?  Maybe you're in a season of 'summer' where dreams and passions are a reality.  But maybe, just maybe you are 'stomping' with impatience at the closed doors, the roadblocks.  I want to say, "It's okay.  Let's take a deep breath together and remember God.  Together let's remind each other that it is about God and He sees the right time, He's doing the good work of slow growth in our hearts; and it is good."

The reality is, even in the 'blooming' of our dreams and passions; there are times we wonder if we heard right?  Is this really what I am to be doing?  John the Baptist had a moment like that as he sat in prison.  He was given a specific calling, a definite ministry and still, as he sat there, he wondered if Jesus really is the Son of God, the One they were waiting for, the One he had been declaring about and preparing the way for.

Satan, the enemy of our souls, delights in getting us derailed from God; from seeing Him and staying with Him.

So, go outside and look up.  Look up and smile and offer your worship of thanks to God who loves us deeply and wants us to know that it is because of Him.  Soak in the sun and the Son.

This morning I read some words written long ago, words given to Zechariah about Zerubbabel, who was helping to rebuild the house of God.  God told him, "Tell Zerubbabel, 'It' not by might or power, but by My Spirit."  So they MAY KNOW that I, the LORD OF HOSTS has sent me to you.'  (Zechariah 4:6,9)

This season of waiting, of in between is a season to KNOW more of God.  It's not about your blooming and producing, but about letting the truest form of life stir and happen within.

When We See the, But God, In Our Story

 

But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place?  And as for you, you meant evil against me, BUT GOD meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.  So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your littles ones."  So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.  Genesis 50:19-21

He said similar words years before when he revealed himself to his brothers... "Don't be angry or grieved with yourselves... FOR GOD sent me before you to preserve life." Genesis 45:5

Joseph saw God in his story and it made all the difference in his life and story.

Those words spoken about you aren't truthful, but God...

I have cancer, but God...

Those people rejected me, but God...

Someone else received the applause or promotion, but God...

Put in the hard you are walking through, but choose to look beyond to see God in the story.  Look beyond to the possibilities of what God may do.  That may be too difficult right now as the muck of the hard is too much; that's ok, simply choose to stay with God, trusting Him that He is in your story.

As I think of all that Joseph walked through, the hatred, the selling to a strange people and ending up in Egypt, resisting temptation then ending in prison because of words spoken that were not truthful, being forgotten by a fellow inmate and at the end of it all; he could say the words... "you meant it for evil, but God... meant it for life."

He saw God in his story and it kept him from bitterness and retaliation.  When I loose sight of God in my story, at how big He really is; I get stuck, mired in the pain and all too quickly I walk in the muck of self-pity and revengeful thoughts.

For a bit the waves of the storm threatened to take over, I lost sight of how big my God is and discouragement set in. 

Look at your problem and God becomes smaller. Look at God and your storm diminishes.

And I'm reminded of Peter, the moment he walked on the stormy waters to Jesus was also the moment he sank when he looked at the stormy waters. But he cried out to Jesus and Jesus stretched out His arm to save him. 

The way of God is the way to life.  God is still in the life-preserving business.  

With God there is no room for retaliation because there is always a bigger picture happening.  The hard part for me is to trust God, I mean really trusting Him and looking beyond to the possibilities of, but God.

In a Leap of Faith We Discover Our Wings

 

In the call of faith, that faith pleases God; there are times when this feels oh, so scary.  Because faith in the trenches requires something very different than the faith when the sun is shining.

This is a piece of my wrestling with faith in a really hard season.

Lord, 

I have heard the saying that when one takes the leap of faith,

One may fly.

(You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.)

But, Lord, is that always really so???

What if I fall??

(Underneath are the everlasting arms.  I will catch you.)

What if I crash???

(I am sent to heal the broken hearted.  To bind up the wounds.)

Lord.  You are there.  Here.  In every situation.

I am no where that You are not.

Nothing happens haphazardly.

You want to redeem any situation.

You want me to know You.

To know more of Your compassion and grace.

Because of that, if to know You more…

And to know more compassion and grace and love…

Is learned through pain

Then I lean towards You as You allow pain and suffering and loss to happen.

To bring redemption.  In my heart.

To reveal more of what me is really like,

(my heart is deceitful)

 so that Your Glory may be seen, purging and shining on.

When I learn to trust Your heart and to believe Your love.  Again and again.

When I choose to believe Your Greater Truth.  Again.

Then I fly.

Fly above the rejection, the loss, and the hard.

Soar beyond the pain.

I learn that You are my comforter.

That Your peace passes understanding.

That Your love surrounds me.

I learn that I will be okay.  Because the One who promises to carry us in His arms is faithful.

Thank you, Lord.  I adore You.

I can FLY!!  

Sometimes the only way to truly being alive - is to LEAP...

The One who delights in our faith is faithful.  Maybe, today, you need to take the leap of faith...

go ahead, for His arms are truly there to surround you and eventually, you will fly.

If you can't today, that's ok.  He won't let you alone, but will continue to woo you...  keep choosing to believe.  Keep holding on to His hand when you feel all of life is slipping...

Because of His love we can trust and believe Him!!