Still Giving Life

 

This week holds many thoughts as I reflect, contemplate, and dwell on the actions of this week of Jesus' life.  

After three years of interacting with people, of telling them the ways of His kingdom and who He is and where He comes from; He experiences - the hosannas and waving of palm branches, still missing the purpose of His coming and kingdom.  He hears the words spoken, "I never knew the Man."  He wrestles in the garden with the weight of His purpose.  He was greeted with a kiss from a friend that was betraying loyalty.  He felt the whip of the lashes coming down upon His back.  He heard the mocking cries of His Kingship, of who He is.  The crown of thorns pierces His head, thorns that were part of the curse of our sin, He now wears and is pierced with on the tender place of His head.

Jesus, the One who is the Way to Life.  Jesus, the One who is Truth and told us the truths of His way, is now being ridiculed, whipped, and pierced.

Rejection.

Rejection pierces deep.  Jesus, the Man on the middle cross, hangs there bearing the weight of being mocked and rejected for showing the Way back to Himself.  He dies, being the Way for us.

What is gripping my heart is in the midst of all this, He speaks life and heals for the very ones rejecting Him.  When Peter cut the high priest's servant's ear, Jesus rebuked Peter and reached out and touched the spot where the ear was no longer there and healed it.  Jesus, as the High Priest, touched and healed the one who was a servant to the high priest and coming to arrest Him.  

Healing to the one who came to hurt Him.

Jesus, with pain and compassion, greeted Judas, the one who betrayed Him with an endearment - a kiss to the soldiers coming for Him.

No retaliation - still offering life.

Jesus, on the cross, spoke of forgiveness.  "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do".  Jesus gave His life all the while continuing to give life to those around Him.

As I let this settle into my heart, I am left with the stark reality of my own responses when I am hurt, rejected when I offer myself, and when I experience heartaches.  I am too much like Peter - defending, whirling my defense mechanism.  I sense the tenderness of Jesus saying, "No, stay with Me.  I love you.  I offer life and healing."

I bow my head, confessing, and cry out to Jesus, "Help me.  It's only through You and because of You that I can live out the ways You taught us."  I pause and realize, that if Jesus who is the Way to truth and life does not defend or demand allegiance and to be understood, why should I, a human, demand that I be understood?

When we stay with the Way, we find our way.  We find our way to truth and life.  God's word is truth and is a sword.  We take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God and 'fight'.  Ephesians 6:17

As I write, today is Good Friday, the day Jesus stretched out His arms, open and wide and gave His life so you and I can have life eternal.  Inviting, open.  

The two men who also hung with Jesus offered ridicule, but one repents, choosing Jesus and receives life eternal.

The invitation is still being offered - the invitation to receive the gift of life that Jesus offered and continues to offer.  But we must want it.  We must accept the invitation.  We must let go and see God in the midst of our broken stories.

That life is not only for us personally but as Jesus lived it, He modeled for us the way.  And yes, giving life, even in the midst of pain, betrayal, and mockery.  

Our pain does not need to end with itself.  With Jesus, there is hope and life.

Jesus accepted the weight of His cup as He surrendered to His Father.  As we surrender to Jesus and know of His love, we too, can find the strength to walk the path before us.  We can, because Jesus promises us that He not only gives us life but He is with us in this life.

The weight of the cup and the path Jesus walked became the way to the resurrection and life over death.  The weight of pain and death we experience can also become the way to life and resurrection when we choose Jesus and stay with Him.

Becoming - A Path, A Journey, Not a Destination

 

I like destinations.  I like to hear the words "you arrived."  I reached the goal.  I succeeded and got there safely. Check the box.

I find that it is the way I have tried to live my life.  

I want to correct this bad habit, successfully.  Check.

I follow this commandment of God and the way He calls us to live.  Check.

I return good for the pain I felt.  Check.

I pray.  Check.

I arrived.  I succeeded.  With all that being said and while the many more goals we have are good goals and not wrong; when they become the end, we miss what living for Jesus and doing life His way, is all about.  When the goal becomes the end, we will likely miss who Jesus is for us along the way.

Because what happens when I miss the mark?  What do I do when I don't follow a command the way I should?  Is that a failure?

If I live with this framework then what I do or don't do is the gauge.  It becomes the framework that dictates my success or failure at living the way of Jesus.

This creates a problem because then my salvation and even the continuing to follow Jesus becomes about me and my good works or not.   The focus is on what I do and not what Jesus has done and the gift He offers you and I.  This is not the saving grace of Jesus.  This is not true sanctification.

The word 'become'  means to change, grow to be.  To become indicates an ongoing process.

The familiar quote of 'Life is a journey and not a destination'; connected with me in a defining way one day.  Life is learning and growing and not so much reaching a destination here on earth.  We are striving for our final destination - heaven.  But until we reach that point, life is a journey.  Each day is an opportunity to learn and grow in the knowledge and ways of Jesus.

When I miss the mark and mess up, it is an opportunity to confess and learn from that experience.  It's not a moment that defines me or marks me in ways that cannot be redeemed. Each day starts with - a morning - and with each new morning we have God's grace, His new morning mercies that include power, truth, and strength for the day and wisdom and forgiveness for the mistakes of yesterday.

Sanctification, becoming, learning, changing and being aware of the parts of ourselves that need adjustment, that need the saving grace and healing touch of Jesus is not a once and done deal.  2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us, "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

"Are being" catches my attention.  The verb tense is an ongoing process, a continuing of something.  

 

I want to arrive.  I want to learn the lesson once and for all times.  In some ways this is an admirable goal.  But in many ways, it's binding.  

For many years I struggled with feeling like a failure because it was like 3 steps forward and then back two and shame and defeat hounded my heels and chirped its rhythm of negativity.

In the middle of all that, I am learning the truth that sanctifying me, the saving of my soul by Jesus is not a destination but a journey.  It's not something that is successfully learned - as in accomplished and an end in itself.  Nor is it learned and applied for all times in ways that we never miss the mark and always get it right.  

It is learning and continuing to learn and grow.  It is as the threads of a screw that go around; continuing and layered in learning how to apply the words of Jesus in my everyday living.  The wounds I have experienced and the ways that has impacted me, has levels of understanding them and healing their impact, in and on my heart and mind.

Becoming is a journey that is so freeing because I don't need to learn it once and for all times which means when the pain in my heart is touched and I react and have a trauma response, I can listen to what it is saying to me.  I can let it lead me to Jesus for more understanding and let Him touch me with His healing touch.  There is always room and space for more learning, understanding, and healing; which equals, growth.

Becoming doesn't indicate shame, but growth.

Becoming allows space for more healing instead of staying stuck in what happened.

Becoming is the wings of freedom and the wind that pushes us closer to Jesus.

Becoming is a journey and one that won't end until I take my last breath and am forever in the presence of the One who saves me today, again.

Learning From the Rabbi, Our Master

 

Following Jesus was never about perfection. It wasn't getting it right that made someone a follower.  It was wanting to learn.

A rabbi's follower was someone who stayed with the person showing up day after day to learn from him. 

The twelve disciples weren't chosen for their perfection, they were simply chosen and given the choice to follow Jesus. 

The invitation given was to follow Him.  The days that followed was the learning to know who Jesus is.

"Did you not know I must be in my Father's house?", were the words Jesus said to His searching parents.

To the disciples  - "Do you know who I am?"

To Mary, when she told Jesus if you had been here my brother would not have died, Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection". 

Jesus again and again, over and over was telling and showing people who He was. He even got frustrated at times with the seemingly just-not-getting it from those who followed Him.  Mark 9:19 tells us Jesus response to the disciples when they could not cast out a demon in a child.  He said, "How long shall I put up with you?"  If it was about getting it right and perfection as a bar that is set, then the disciples missed the mark.

He showed who He was in the multiplying of the loaves and fishes.  He revealed who He was to the disciples in the fourth watch of the night as they battled and struggled in the fierce storm.  When Peter walked on the water, as the many people were healed, Jesus was revealing more of who He was.  As He spoke to the multitudes on the hillsides or to the disciples as they walked, He was telling them ways so opposite to what they understood but they were the ways of who He is.

The Pharisees are the ones who were about perfection, crossing t's and dotting their i's.  In striving to get it right, they missed seeing who Jesus is.

The same is for us today. Jesus wants us to know Him, to learn from Him and of Him. He wants to show us who He is - through His names, His actions, and most of all through our faith.  

In our night watches of wrestling, fears, and tears falling, who is Jesus?  When we get a diagnosis or the pain just doesn't go away, what does Jesus want us to know about Him?  Maybe you were missed by the people who love you, rejection showed up at your door, or words spoken want to define you - what does Jesus say and what truth does He want you and I to know?

Our faith is a believing in Him.  It's staying with Him, showing up again and again especially when He doesn't make sense to our human minds.  Faith is the reaching for Jesus to learn more, to ask the question, "Lord, help me understand and help me to see You when I have fears and questions and when life doesn't make sense."

The challenge for me is to learn to live with an openness.  Open to what could be and to the possibilities that lie within the very thing we would rather not be in. With Jesus nothing is wasted.  With Jesus we find our hearts and minds being realigned, which hurts sometimes.  For in my humanity and human thought-processes, I think this is good or important and valuable.  He in His infinite wisdom and all-knowingness says, "No, this is what is truly good."

Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28-29 to learn of Him.  He is the Rabbi, the Teacher.  Do you want to be His student, His follower?  If you answer yes, stay with Him, sit in His presence and offer your questions, fears, and aches.

He wants to tell you more about who He is.

Showing up again, today, is the space we wait and we find Jesus. 

The prayer of Psalm 25:4-5 -

Make me know Thy ways, O Lord; teach me Thy paths.  

Lead me in Thy truth and teach me, for Thou art the God of my salvation; for Thee I wait all the day.

The Sun, The Seed, and Winter

 

As the seed lays within the earth, beneath the surface of the ground, it lays within the darkness.  The sun that shines is blocked from the vision of the seed.  There lay the perennials in the cold and dark earth, life seems to be nowhere.  Cold.  Alone.  

But life is happening as the seed and the perennial flowers lay beneath the surface.  Life is not visible, but is happening within the seed and root systems.

Winter can seem to go on forever.

Winter can seem to be endless.

Pain can be a loud voice.

Love is vulnerable and opens us to pain, but it also opens us to life.

Memories of happenings past can keep us tethered, hindering us from living fully.  Death drowns out the life we once knew, silence and emptiness can now overwhelm us and it seems like there is no where to go.  Rejection keeps us from offering.

As I listened to the age-old song, titled The Rose, I was reminded that in living there is a dying.  That in the dying it gives way to living and the one who is not afraid to take a chance will learn to dance.  

Winter and death eventually and always gives way to spring and new visible life.  Death gives way to the hope and possibilities of the resurrection.  Fear keeps us in the ground of pain and keeps us from life and living.

So today, if you find yourself feeling like you're buried beneath the dark soil of pain, hardship, and trials; remember Jesus.  Reach for Him as He is wanting to birth life within you.  He only works all things together for good and for life.  In the darkness it is so easy to miss or turn away from the love of Jesus, God's Son.  He can seem so hidden, so distant in those moments.

As the seed gives way and surrenders, life bursts forth.  As you and I surrender to Jesus and because of His love, we find life.

So don't turn away from the Giver of Life and stay buried.  Choose to stay with Him and you will find your way to life. 

Faith is the seed we plant in the darkness and it's what pushes us to reach towards the surface, reaching for Jesus. 

Many times when Jesus healed someone and they also believed Him, He would say, "Your faith has made you whole."

Healing is not only physical.  The truest healing happens deep within our hearts, when in the darkness we reach for the truths that Jesus has given us.  When we find Jesus to be with us, His love, truth, and grace makes us whole.

As the seed becomes the life that is visible, that little shoot of green above the earth's surface, it grows and becomes a bud.  That bud then opens into a flower, the rose, a fragrant blossom.

So too, you and I, as we give way to Jesus our Father, His love warms the ground of our hearts and our faith becomes a bud that opens into a fragrant flower.  The Son's love grows us in good and wholesome ways as we choose Him in each and every situation we find ourselves in.

Winter is not forever.  Spring comes with the warmth of the sun.

Perfect Love's Power and Strength

 

There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear.  1 John 4:18

I took in a meal for an elderly man who just lost his wife of 62 years.  I decided to make chili soup.  As I was telling a group of ladies what I was taking, one informed me that is something he really enjoys along with potato salad.  I responded with, "Oh, I could make that, too."

The conversation continued with another lady telling me that he is kinda the guru of potato salad and that he really enjoys making it.  For a moment I paused, wondering if I should attempt to make it and grace his meal with that item.

I decided on the menu - chili soup and yes, potato salad.

Several days later my husband was told by a family member that I was brave to take him potato salad since he is picky and the king of potato salad with his opinions and enjoyment of making it.  By the way he said I passed the test. (Whew!)

The test.  I didn't know what I was up against.  I didn't know I would be 'scored'.  I didn't know about any expectations to that extent.  Therefore I knew not fear of disappointing.  I didn't realize there was such a high expectation or standard.

And because I did not fear, I gave.  I took the time to make potato salad and offer it to him to enjoy.

The thought became loud and clear - what we can do when we don't fear.

I've been pondering this quite heavily and realizing that when fear is not present we give and offer in ways that are alive.  When fear doesn't chain us to the ground we fly with the freedom of offering what we have to someone.

I realized that to put forth effort to not fear was not going to work in any way or accomplish this freedom in giving.  When some expectation is set before me, trepidation fills my heart.  When I realize that I could let someone down, I want to shrink back from giving.  When a bar is set, I want to soar over it - but - what if I don't?

I realized anew how much people's thoughts and opinions were holding me back.  Holding me back from offering, from engaging with people, and giving because of standards spoken or unspoken.  Standards placed upon me by others and even myself would send me running or paralyzing me with its demand.

The way is through, not around or avoiding.  

What lies beneath fear?  Fear is the tip of the iceberg that we see.  Underneath the face of fear lies a conundrum of many things - fear of missing out, fear of rejection, fear of disappointing those around me, fear of being alone.  You fill in the blank.  When I pay attention to what lies beneath fear and match it with God's words and what He says is truth, fear loses its grip.  In the presence of God and his truth, fear fades away.  Just as the dawn causes the darkness to recede and fade into glorious light, so is God's love as it penetrates our hearts and the lies that we believe, causing the darkness of fear to fade into a glorious light within our hearts.

I realized again that it is only in knowing Love that fear loses its power.  I realized that to combat fear I must know perfect love.  Perfect love is only found in Jesus.  It is who He is.

So.  Sitting at the feet of Jesus is a place I must go.  Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28 to come to Him and learn of Him and He will give us rest in our souls.  Peace. Settled.  Strength. Confidence.

So I sat with Jesus.  I confessed the idolatry of valuing people's opinions so highly that it keeps me from truly living.  A friend spoke words of turning to Jesus and allowing His face to shine over me.  I must turn away from the thing that causes my heart to quiver and shake in fear, to look at the One whose gaze shines over me.  So, I asked Jesus to tell me what He thinks and the value He places on me.

In turning towards God, we experience God's mysterious way and in ways that only He can do, fear begins to fade away.  In its place a confidence builds.  Confidence to face fear and put it in perspective and in its proper place.  Trading fear for "Be strong, take courage."  Fear of failure finds confidence of the redemption of Jesus.  Worth and validation knows a security that God sees, we are inscribed in the palm of His hand. Isaiah 49:16.  

You see, when you and I know Whose we are, the circumstances and people around us no longer define us.  When God's love grips our hearts, fear loses.  Fear loses its grip in the presence of Perfect Love.

It is a mystery.  Perfect love truly does cast out fear.  

Now, my friend, it just may be your turn to sit with Jesus and gaze in His face.  You may need to learn more of God's love and joyfully and with awe discover that fear has no place in that presence.  In God's miraculous way the very thing that grips your heart in the bondage of fear can lose its grip as you learn more of God's truth.

When we don't fear, we give of ourselves freely and wholly. 

Oh Jesus, 

May we know Your love in deeper ways.  May we sit with You to know the joy of Your shining face on us.  There are so many expectations that can cause us to fear missing the mark and disappointing people.  As we know Your love may we realize the idolatry of putting other's opinions as our gauge of value.  Oh, Lord Jesus, You have loved us before we ever loved You.  

Fill me with Your love, deep in my broken crevices, in the places where I ache, I desire to know You.  For I realize that when I know who I am in You that's all that truly matters.  You define my worth and value.

Thank You, 

Your daughter

Fly my friend. Allow God's love to be the current of wind that allows you to soar to new heights on eagle's wings.  Let God's love be the current in your heartbeat that keeps you living.   Allow yourself to be held in the embrace of God's everlasting arms. 

Because of His love we can live in the abundance of living.

Because of His love fear slips away and in its wake we discover the awe of the freedom of living.

Because of His love we can know our truest worth and value.

Knowing The Physician's Touch

 

Mornings are the time I like to take my walk.  It is a time for me to begin my day in conversation with God and myself as I reflect, ponder, and pay attention to what is going on inside of me.

One particular morning, following months of praying a prayer for healing in my heart and desiring the touch of Jesus, I felt a shift.  You see, storied within me was a belief system that began years ago in the heart of a 10 year old in fifth grade that there is something wrong with her and if she could only figure it out, then she would be liked.  Blindsided by mistreatment of schoolmates began this quest.

In the days and the years that followed, healing happened in small ways but there still lingered a trigger reaction in certain situations.  Storied in my body and mind was something that I did not have words for.  Certain situations would cause a reaction that was out of reach to talking myself into responding differently.  I knew that only God could heal this reaction.

That morning, I felt the roots forming and taking hold that I am okay with being me.  I actually even like me, at least a little bit. :) I wrestled with God as my Creator because I was having a hard time accepting me, for it seemed there was a major defect.  So to begin to be okay with me was a huge beginning step.

Here I am going to insert a truth - that when we begin to love ourselves in a correct way (it is the second greatest commandment of Gods), then we discover a peace that passes understanding and it affects the way I interact with those around me.  We cannot give what we do not possess.

There is a place of what's broken and aching within our hearts can't be truly righted and healed unless the Master Physician touches it.  We look to people, things, accolades, promotions, etc to make us feel more whole but the ache remains.  Even if the person who hurt us confesses and makes it right, sometimes the pain still lingers.  That is the space for Jesus and for us to know Him.

We can help each other see the light and to know a better way, but in the end the deepest and truest healing touch of Jesus is the only thing that can truly satisfy our aches and brokenness.  We are to be a companion and to love each other, but there will always remain a space for Jesus and Jesus alone.

In the loneliest of nights, in the deepest caverns and broken fissures of our hearts, and in the driest spaces of the wilderness and desert is the space that Jesus wants to be discovered as our Master Physician.  He wants to heal us in ways that only He can and it just may surprise you how satisfying His touch will be.

Jesus told the woman who came to the well for a drink, in the middle of the day and alone, if you knew Who was asking for a drink you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.  She came to the well to satisfy her physical need of water and thirst but she left satisfied in the place that mattered the most - her heart and soul.  She also left her waterpot, the very need she had come to fulfill.

Do we forget who Jesus is in our time of need?  I recognize that it is easy to slip into a habit of figuring life out and looking to others for our help.  Our times of desert places, wilderness moments, darkness, and loneliness is the very place we can choose to look to Jesus for our healing and find a satisfaction beyond our imagination .  

The Israelites forgot that over and over, time and time again when they were in the wilderness.  They reached a hard spot, were thirsty, hungry and the first thing they did was to complain.  They longed for what they had in Egypt at times.  They longed for the comfort of food and plenty forgetting the intense persecution they had been experiencing and longing to be delivered from.

We have that same human tendency to forget.  If we know who Jesus is, we too, can be satisfied with the Living Water.

What do you do to keep from forgetting who God is for you? How do we really live this out?  How do we learn to know Jesus?  How do we experience His touch?  Are some questions that you may ask.  God may seem distant and how do we reach Him?

He says whoever believes Me will be saved, having eternal life.  John 6:47, John 20:31, Acts 16:31 are a few verses that tell us of this truth.

Two things catch my attention, one is when Jesus told the woman, "If you knew who was asking you for a drink?" and the other is when she left her waterpot at the well to go and tell others about Jesus and inviting them to come and see Him.

Believing Jesus is a choice.  It is quite simple - faith, believing and yet we strive for something more. We can trust Him because He is faithful and never lies.  Knowing Jesus comes by reading the Word of God and believing it in the light and the dark times we experience.

If you find yourself in the darkness or in the wilderness, feeling lost and alone, I invite you to reach for the words of truth found in the Bible and claim them.  Read them as often as you need to allowing them to penetrate the places that can only be touched and healed by Jesus our Master Physician.

He wants you to know Him.  We too, often come with the desire to satisfy our needs in one way and when we encounter Jesus, we walk away satisfied in the place that matters the most - our mind, heart, and soul.  We, too can leave behind our 'waterpots', the very need we came to fulfill and find a deeper healing.

It Matters

This reminds us there are possibilities beyond 
what we see right now.  Also, stones were used
to build this arch.

Anytime you begin something new, whether it's a redo or starting a project from its very beginning, it matters what you begin with.  

At the beginning of this new year, goals are set, dreams are aspiring, and resolutions look possible.  Before long, the mundane sets in and what looked possible and glamorous now looks dull and maybe the end goal a bit dim and maybe it's lost in all the muck and grime of life's happenings.

It matters why you started for the why will keep you going when you hit this point.  Your resolutions will fail unless you are grounded in why you wanted to begin.

Winter reminds us and invites to pay attention to what is underneath, beneath, and within.  It reminds us that what is happening beneath the dirt of the tree, plants, and flowers matters.  Spring and life will eventually reveal the results.

It matters what is happening underneath. It also matters what's happening inside of you. 

As the root system of a tree makes a difference how it stands during the fierce blows of winter and the production of summer, so our root system matters, too.  What we're grounded in is important as it holds us through the winters and the storms of life and also the production of fruit and good works that God wants us to do for Him.  

It matters where are roots are drawing their sustenance.  Ephesians 3:17-18 tells us that being rooted and grounded in God's love also fills us.  Colossians 2:7 invites us to root ourselves in Jesus.  When we're rooted and grounded in God and His love, we're rooted and grounded in Jesus. Jesus is love. When we're rooted in Him, it guides us, holds us, and keeps us; anchoring us when the stormy winds blow. When the harsh cold winds beat us with the things that we thought we'd never walked through or that we never desired to endure, we have an anchor.  

But in all honesty, what does this really look like in this life I am living?  How do I live this out?

What do I do when that anger, the disappointment, the habit comes back and I give way to its vices, again derailing my aspiring goal to change and to do differently?  What do you do when you keep going back to your habit again and again?  Maybe you don't, but I believe these are all pieces of our root system, leading us to what we believe about ourselves.  If we trace them, they will reveal what we know and believe about the God who made us, the God who holds us and the God who keeps us.

So, take a moment and with bravery, sit with your anger, look at your disappointment square in its face. Let it lead you to trace God in the middle of it all. 

This leads me to realize, I must know the truth.  I must know Jesus who is Truth and that comes by reading His words and memorizing them, meditating on them, and hiding them in my heart.  We'll come back to this. 

The pain, the disappointments, and missed goals are like the weight of a stone.   Let's put that anger, the disappointment, the deaths that you have walked through and write its name on a stone.

Stones have multiple purposes and reasons.  They are heavy.  One thing is they can trip us when we stumble on them or we can use them to make a path through a garden of flowers.  By the way, I like to use stones in my flower garden. I use them to create paths.  They tell anyone who wanders through the garden, where to go.  They lead and give direction.

Now, you have a choice.  Either you can keep carrying your stone, allowing it to weigh you down and trip you, or you can lay it down.  You can lay it down at the feet of Jesus and make a path.  You can create a path that leads you through the darkness and hardship to see Jesus in the midst of it. 

You can create a path of faith.

We're circling back to the reality that I must know Jesus and that comes by reading His words and choosing to believe them for sometimes in the midst of all my angst, they  feel so distant.  I am also tempted to doubt God is trustworthy or faithful.  

Your stones of hardship, pain, rejection, and disappointment are opportunities to lead you to Jesus where you can trace the goodness and faithfulness of God.  They can remind you of God's presence and the way He led you through the darkness and into the light, a stepping stone of faith.  This is the time and place where we speak truth into our lies and situation  Truth brings clarity and light to the shadows and darkness of what we believe, which in turns affects our actions.

What is happening beneath and within you heart, matters.  It matters what we believe, for this fuels our actions.  Those goals you set, that desire to change is all riveted on what you believe deep within.

So, in this year, when you misstep and miss the mark of your goal, sit with it and trace it and let it lead you to Truth, to Jesus, and listen to what He says.  In this  year as you aspire to grow, first of all choose to know God and to read His words.  It makes all the difference.  It matters.

With truth, we can turn our weights into stepping stoning and we can turn what hurts into words of God's goodness to us. We release, we lay down a stone that becomes the path of faith of seeing Jesus that can anchor us in the fog and shadows we find ourselves in at times.

There are pieces of our story and chapters in our lives that can't be erased or undone. They can be rewritten and reworded because of the hope that we have in Jesus.  First John 4:4 tells us that greater is He that is within us than he that is in the world. God's words matter more than what our story has told us and informed our way of thinking. 

What happens in our story tells us it matters what you believe. It matters who you believe, so pay attention, be aware, be alert and let the weight of the pain, the weight of hardship, and the weight of rejection being turned into stepping stones of faith in God. May the weight lead you to him.

I also want you to know that as I have wrestled with pain, I have said it so many times, "I hate pain".  I realized that I'm dwelling on the negative, and so I asked the Lord, "How I could reword it? What can be said instead?"  This word picture of taking pain and seeing it as a weight and a stone and repurposing gave me a visual that changed the pain and gave it a new purpose.  Its intent can nudge us to Jesus, if we choose to let it.  It can lead us to the One who holds us and keeps us.  It gave me a visual of the release so I can receive something better.  We cannot hold onto the pain with a grip and receive God's freedom at the same time.  We must release the one to receive the other.

It's the process of forgiveness, again and again, rewriting our stories to give space for life to be created because of the presence and power of Jesus.  Keeping a grip on the impact of our pain hinders us from opening up to receive God's mercy and life.  A quote by Joseph Fasano says it well and again gave me a visual as I struggled to release my "stones" and lay them down.  It reads, "Why open?  Because what is a blossom anyway but a fist saying I can't do this anymore."  I also want to remind you that forgiveness is not saying it doesn't matter or didn't happen, in fact when we release the impact it is actually saying, 'it matters' and I am choosing a better way.  In the truest form of forgiveness, it's the releasing of my need for revenge and to make the other person pay so I can receive and experience God's mercy and grace.  Forgiveness is the release that sets me free and breaks the bond I have with the impact of the pain that I am feeling.  It is the laying down of the weight of the stone and finding a life-giving purpose to live in.

So, my friend, you are not alone, let what hurt you lead you to trace the goodness and presence of Jesus in your life.   In your story, you're creating a pathway of faith.  It matters.  It matters to how you live out your goals and it will affect your victory stance in the battle you find yourself in, in this one life you live.  May God's grace and His presence surround you as you aspire and step into this new year.