A Morning Walk, The Sun, The Clouds

 

The clouds hang low - covering what once could be seen clearly.

A hazy reminder that the sun IS still shining.

For a moment, just a moment on my morning walk, the sun pierced through the clouds as they parted to reveal what is present but simply could not be seen in the a moment.

These past days the clouds were persistently present and clouded over the sun's rays, blocking them from our vision as we were on this side of the clouds.  Some days the clouds weren't as thick.  Other days they were low and very dense, blocking all signs of the glowing beauty and warmth of the sun.

As I walked, taking steps, I was strongly reminded of God's presence.  His presence is like the sun - sometimes very close, visible, and warm.  Other times it's hidden behind the onslaught of the brokenness of life - death, rejection, missed expectations, broken stories, disappointments, etc.  

But the one truth that remains so very true and faithful is that God IS always present.  He is just as much there when He gets lost in the pain, hidden by the impact of hardships as He is when I can clearly see His presence and the work that He does.

So when I shout, "God, where are You?!"  I can follow that with - "Lord, I choose to believe.  I choose to believe that the sun is still there even when it's not shining.  I believe in a love even when I don't feel it.  Lord, help my unbelief."  

The song that we sing is borne from the agony of one who spent days in a cellar and carved the poem on the wall during the days of the Holocaust in Cologne, Germany.  A person, choosing to believe and reminding himself of what he could not see or feel, is still present in the midst of heartbreak and so utter demoralizing actions.  "I believe in the sun, even when it's not shining.  I believe in love, even when I don't feel it.  I believe in God, even when God is silent."

I believe that the sun even when I can't see it, is there when the clouds keep it hidden from view.

I know it will shine once again in its splendour when the clouds break away and let it shine through.

I believe in a God even though I can't see Him, even when He is silent I know He is there.

I know if I wait on the Lord and will listen, in a still small voice He speaks to me here.

chorus: I believe in a God and I know that I shall see Him someday in Heaven upon His great throne.

I believe in a God and I know He is with me, will be with me here till I enter my home.

I believe in a love that is true and tender, for God in His love sent it down from above.

I believe in a love even when I can't feel it, in this cold empty world where few know His love.

Truth remains even when present circumstances shout to us otherwise.  God's presence is faithfully there and we can cry out in faith, choosing to believe what we know above what we feel.  

Friend, my prayer is that you and I will know Jesus in deeper ways.  In deeper ways, that carry us through the foggy days and the darkness that at times envelopes us and blocks the sun.  

Faith is choosing Jesus in the times He makes no sense to our human minds.  Faith is choosing to believe Jesus over what we feel.  Faith is reaching for Jesus because we have learned to know Him in deeper ways.

It's Not What's Around You, But Who Is Within You That Allows Growth

 

It's not what's around you that determines your growth and survival of hard conditions, it's what you're rooted in.

It's WHO is within you that keeps you and makes all the difference in how you live through the hard things you encounter.

Ephesians 3:17-19 reminds us with, "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God".

What grounds you determines your growth. 

When a plant is rooted it may still find a way to grow and bloom in the most unpleasant situations.  So it is with us as we find our roots anchored in Jesus.  John 15:4 tells us, "Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me."

It's Jesus within you that will make the difference of how you see your hardship and find strength to navigate it.  It is He within you where you find unexplainable peace and wisdom in the midst of hard and unexpected situations.

It's so easy to blame circumstances and other people for the hardships and difficult circumstances and relationship drama that we find ourselves in.  While what is happening around us matters and affects us it doesn't have the final say or verdict on our growth.  It only has that power if we allow it to define us.  The greatest influence is within our own hearts.  What is within our hearts reveals and determines the growth of our souls or the lack thereof.

Yes, people have a responsibility for their actions, but so do we.  We have the power to choose.

John 15:4 tells us - "Abide in Me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me."

Take a moment to sit with Jesus.

Learn more of who He is.

Choose His greater truth.

Grab God's words of truth and don't let go when you're in the darkness and even if you don't feel it.

It will still change you and your perspective.

I'm not going to deny or overlook that it's much easier to bloom when the circumstances around us are good, fertile, and the right conditions.  But we all know that life hands us the unexpected, what we didn't want to live out, and even in those times we can learn to bloom and thrive when we are connected to Jesus because He tells us that He wants to fill us with Himself.

When a plant is rooted, it may still find a way to grow and bloom.  So it is with us, as we abide and stay with Jesus, we will find a way to bloom.

So, if you find yourself stuck or maybe living in repeated and unhealthy habits, check your connection to the One who loves you.  Your behaviours and actions will follow your focus and connection.

The Realities of the Rose

Perspective. 

If I had a conversation with you about the rose, I wonder what you would tell me.  What do you think of or see when you see a rose?

Do you see the rose?

Or do you see the thorns?

Would you say, "I would not want roses in my flower garden, they hurt!"  Or would you say, "I love roses in my flower garden, they smell so good?"

Both are present. Both are a reality. 

Some days I see the rose and then there are those days and moments when I see the thorns. The truth is, some days we need to grieve the 'thorns' because they hurt.

But what we focus on affects our experience and the outcome.  Our behaviour will follow what we focus on.  If I dwell on the fact that there are thorns and let that consume me, I likely will not have roses in my flower garden.  

What I choose to focus on does not deny the presence of the other.  Just because I focus on the beauty and enjoy the scent of roses does not negate or deny the reality of the thorns.  

What I choose to see will make all the difference in how I view the rose.

So it is with my circumstances, my hard, my what-I-would-not-choose in my story. I have a choice on what I dwell on.  What I dwell on will affect my behaviour and the choices I make.  

Dwelling on the negative and clinging to what I want life to look like will cause me much stress, worry, and added pain.

Choosing to look for the gifts that are present, releases the endorphins that lower the stress of the pain and impact on my body.  

Releasing control, surrendering to the story I am in is accepting the thorns on the stem of the rose.  As I accept, surrender, release, call it what you want to the 'thorns'; I become more more aware and appreciate the gifts more deeply along with the hardship of the thorns.

To focus on what I am feeling due to how life's trauma and hard impact me is important and helps me to choose to focus on God and what I learn about Him and life along the way.

Choosing to stay with God, the Life-giver, will make the difference on how I process all that crosses and walks with me on this journey of life. 

To focus on one does not deny the existence of the other but it does change and alter the course of my day.  Actually, to deny one you will deny the other.  To deny the truth of the thorns in many ways affects the truth of enjoying the flower.  A greater awareness of the thorn gives way to a heightened enjoyment of the flower.

Oftentimes it's the fragile dance of living with both but putting a greater weight on one.

To acknowledge what hurts, my anger, my disappointment but then shifting my concentration to Jesus, opening up to the possibilities that just may lie within the hardship. Owning the hard and how it hurts can give space and way to healing in ways that just may surprise you.

The Value and Language of Tears

Tears.

Psalm 56:8, "You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle.  Are they not in Your book?"

Tears give voice to the emotions we feel deep within our hearts and souls, whether it is a conscious thought or a subconscious one.  Sometimes we've learned to squelch the feelings that rise to the surface when we experience a happening or what someone says to us.

What happens is stored within us unless we give it space to be and it finds its way through us to healing, whether it's a hard and painful emotion or a joy-filled emotion.

Then another thing may happen to us and it adds to what is stored within us - a word spoken, a death, a rejection, being overlooked, an ache and longing, you name it; and the tears come.

When they come, in all our vulnerability, we often turn our faces, brush our cheeks to hide their trail.

Why do we so often turn our face to shield the trail of tears that leave their shiny mark on our cheeks?  In some ways we feel, maybe shame that they are present.  We may feel exposed, naked, and vulnerable as the tears leave our eyes and trail down our cheeks?

But tears are seen and cared for by God.  Tears are important, so important that God collects them and puts them in a bottle.

There is space for tears and they matter.  What causes them matters. I picture God gently holding the bottle, tracing the trail of tears and carefully and gently guiding them into the opening.  The He writes about it.  He may name them or maybe He writes what we say and name as we pour out our hearts to Him along with the tears.

Tears tell us that something and/or someone matters a whole lot.

Tears are the language of grief.  They speak of weariness.  They hold the ache of unmet longings and desires.  They mourn for the ones we love who have gone on to their eternal home.  They leave their trail as we laugh hard.  Tears fill our eyes as we witness joyous reuniions and moments.  Tears of repentance soften our hearts.

Tears are healthy.  They was our hearts, souls, and minds, cleansing us from the toxicity of stress and pain, again and again.

Tears are a language.  The next time tears come, listen to what they are telling you and treasure them just as God does.  Listen to the voice they are saying and give space for them, allowing their cleansing and healing work to take place.

The Enlarging of Our Soul in Grief and Pain

 

We often say, "I'll never be the same", after a life-changing and altering happening.  As much as it hurts and we'd like it to be what we always knew it as, grief, pain, broken stories, redemption leave their mark and in all honesty should not leave us the same.

We are deepened by grief's awareness.  We know more deeply the carrying of both grief and joy.  We know firsthand the ache of loss because we knew the joy of loving the one we lost or what has been lost or changed.

Grief, death, pain is because we knew love and connection and had the privilege and joy of loving someone and wholeness.  It's also once knowing health and now being very much aware of the diagnosis and sometimes the daily carrying of shards of broken health.

To learn to know who Jesus is for us in these moments, is to choose to yoke together with Him and learn of Him in deeper ways.  

To know grief is to have the opportunity to know the comfort of Jesus.  

To know loss is to have the opportunity to see things with more clarity.

To be weak is to choose to know God's strength.

To have experienced brokenness is the opportunity to know God's healing and tender touch.

To know grief is to be enlarged by it as we learn to know more of who God is in the middle of it. 

I've been enlarged by grief, health issues, and mental darkness and I don't ever want lose what I've learned and to not be deepened by the lessons I've learned within it and learning to who Jesus is.  Matthew 11:28, Come to Me - and learn of Me and you will find rest for your souls.

In learning who Jesus is we find rest.  Proverbs 18:10 tells us, "The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe."  Not safe as in all blue skies and no harm, but a refuge and place to dwell and to find rest.

Being deepened by loss, grief, and pain is an awareness that leaves us changed.  It's a hard truth and a mysterious one. It's a deepening awareness that changes our thought processes, beliefs, and even friendships and connections.  We are changed because of knowing Jesus more fully within it.  In a hard and mysterious way, it is with reverence we carry and hold the change.  It's the scars that tell us what we've borne, carried, loved, and yet have no more.  It's the scars that tell us of what is while holding the awareness of what once was or what we had envisioned to be different.

I would not have chosen my hard path but I am grateful for who I've become through it all.  When we surrender what is, what was lost, and the unfulfilled desires to God, we have space to find new joys and a freedom within our story.

As the caterpillar surrenders to the process it becomes a butterfly.  As we surrender to the process of pain and joy, the both/and of life to God, we are changed and a deepened awareness of who we are and who God is takes place.  We find our wings.  We find the space and freedom to fly.

I carry my story and scars with reflective honour and give thanks for the deepening it has done in my heart.  The same can be true for you.

In the Shadow of God's Wings

 

Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

Bulwark is not a word we commonly use but it means, "a solid defensive wall used for protection.  It commonly refers to a person or thing that acts as a strong and protective shield against danger or threats."  God's faithfulness is that wall and a protection against the danger we may experience.  The lies Satan wants us to believe about who God is can fall flat and hold no power when we believe the faithfulness of God.  God's faithfulness can shield us from the fiery darts of Satan as we seek refuge under the wings of God.

Wings of any fowl are used to fly and to protect their young.  Wings signify protection and security, not only for the bird itself, but also for their young.  As a mother hen spreads open her wings for the chicks to come under and find protection from the heat and storm, so God invites us to find refuge under His wings.  Even in the shadow of God's wings we can find protection and refuge.  Psalm 17:8 says, "Keep me as the apple of the eye; hide me in the shadow of  Your wings."

In Numbers 15:38, God told the men of Israel, through Moses, to make tassels and wear them on the corners of their garments.

In Malachi 4:2, we have a promise about Jesus that tells us, "But for you who fear My name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings,".

That phrase for many years did not have much impact to its significance until I learned that the word for corners and wings is the same word in Hebrew.  As the men of Israel were to put the tassels on the corners of their garment to remind them of the commandments of the Lord, so the Son of Man would have healing in the wings of His garments as we see how the woman who bled for twelve years experienced.  As she reached out and very likely touched one of the tassels on Jesus' garments, she received physical healing.

She came near to Jesus.

This thrills me and excites me with a truth that is so inviting and powerful.  To find shelter under the wings of Jesus is to be near Him.  It is to sit at His feet.  To be in the shadow of someone or something you must be near. To be in the shelter of God's wings we need to be close.  We need to be near Him.

In the shadow of God's wings we can find refuge, strength, protection, and shelter from the storms of life.  This does not mean we won't experience any pain, but it does mean we have God's strength, shelter, protection, and nearness while the storm rages and beats.

Stay. Sit.

Staying with Jesus is to sit with Him and to find His presence of strength giving power in our weaknesses.  We can experience Isaiah 40:31, to rise on eagle's wings.

Sit in the shadow of Jesus' wings.  Rest close to Him, learning more of who He is in each moment.  Our moments of joy and sorrow have something to tell us about God.  Our tears and laughter bring Him delight as we draw near.  He cares about each, our both/and that we hold within our hearts.

Today, there is healing in His wings as we find refuge, staying and sitting with Him.