The Value and Language of Tears

Tears.

Psalm 56:8, "You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle.  Are they not in Your book?"

Tears give voice to the emotions we feel deep within our hearts and souls, whether it is a conscious thought or a subconscious one.  Sometimes we've learned to squelch the feelings that rise to the surface when we experience a happening or what someone says to us.

What happens is stored within us unless we give it space to be and it finds its way through us to healing, whether it's a hard and painful emotion or a joy-filled emotion.

Then another thing may happen to us and it adds to what is stored within us - a word spoken, a death, a rejection, being overlooked, an ache and longing, you name it; and the tears come.

When they come, in all our vulnerability, we often turn our faces, brush our cheeks to hide their trail.

Why do we so often turn our face to shield the trail of tears that leave their shiny mark on our cheeks?  In some ways we feel, maybe shame that they are present.  We may feel exposed, naked, and vulnerable as the tears leave our eyes and trail down our cheeks?

But tears are seen and cared for by God.  Tears are important, so important that God collects them and puts them in a bottle.

There is space for tears and they matter.  What causes them matters. I picture God gently holding the bottle, tracing the trail of tears and carefully and gently guiding them into the opening.  The He writes about it.  He may name them or maybe He writes what we say and name as we pour out our hearts to Him along with the tears.

Tears tell us that something and/or someone matters a whole lot.

Tears are the language of grief.  They speak of weariness.  They hold the ache of unmet longings and desires.  They mourn for the ones we love who have gone on to their eternal home.  They leave their trail as we laugh hard.  Tears fill our eyes as we witness joyous reuniions and moments.  Tears of repentance soften our hearts.

Tears are healthy.  They was our hearts, souls, and minds, cleansing us from the toxicity of stress and pain, again and again.

Tears are a language.  The next time tears come, listen to what they are telling you and treasure them just as God does.  Listen to the voice they are saying and give space for them, allowing their cleansing and healing work to take place.

The Enlarging of Our Soul in Grief and Pain

 

We often say, "I'll never be the same", after a life-changing and altering happening.  As much as it hurts and we'd like it to be what we always knew it as, grief, pain, broken stories, redemption leave their mark and in all honesty should not leave us the same.

We are deepened by grief's awareness.  We know more deeply the carrying of both grief and joy.  We know firsthand the ache of loss because we knew the joy of loving the one we lost or what has been lost or changed.

Grief, death, pain is because we knew love and connection and had the privilege and joy of loving someone and wholeness.  It's also once knowing health and now being very much aware of the diagnosis and sometimes the daily carrying of shards of broken health.

To learn to know who Jesus is for us in these moments, is to choose to yoke together with Him and learn of Him in deeper ways.  

To know grief is to have the opportunity to know the comfort of Jesus.  

To know loss is to have the opportunity to see things with more clarity.

To be weak is to choose to know God's strength.

To have experienced brokenness is the opportunity to know God's healing and tender touch.

To know grief is to be enlarged by it as we learn to know more of who God is in the middle of it. 

I've been enlarged by grief, health issues, and mental darkness and I don't ever want lose what I've learned and to not be deepened by the lessons I've learned within it and learning to who Jesus is.  Matthew 11:28, Come to Me - and learn of Me and you will find rest for your souls.

In learning who Jesus is we find rest.  Proverbs 18:10 tells us, "The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe."  Not safe as in all blue skies and no harm, but a refuge and place to dwell and to find rest.

Being deepened by loss, grief, and pain is an awareness that leaves us changed.  It's a hard truth and a mysterious one. It's a deepening awareness that changes our thought processes, beliefs, and even friendships and connections.  We are changed because of knowing Jesus more fully within it.  In a hard and mysterious way, it is with reverence we carry and hold the change.  It's the scars that tell us what we've borne, carried, loved, and yet have no more.  It's the scars that tell us of what is while holding the awareness of what once was or what we had envisioned to be different.

I would not have chosen my hard path but I am grateful for who I've become through it all.  When we surrender what is, what was lost, and the unfulfilled desires to God, we have space to find new joys and a freedom within our story.

As the caterpillar surrenders to the process it becomes a butterfly.  As we surrender to the process of pain and joy, the both/and of life to God, we are changed and a deepened awareness of who we are and who God is takes place.  We find our wings.  We find the space and freedom to fly.

I carry my story and scars with reflective honour and give thanks for the deepening it has done in my heart.  The same can be true for you.

In the Shadow of God's Wings

 

Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

Bulwark is not a word we commonly use but it means, "a solid defensive wall used for protection.  It commonly refers to a person or thing that acts as a strong and protective shield against danger or threats."  God's faithfulness is that wall and a protection against the danger we may experience.  The lies Satan wants us to believe about who God is can fall flat and hold no power when we believe the faithfulness of God.  God's faithfulness can shield us from the fiery darts of Satan as we seek refuge under the wings of God.

Wings of any fowl are used to fly and to protect their young.  Wings signify protection and security, not only for the bird itself, but also for their young.  As a mother hen spreads open her wings for the chicks to come under and find protection from the heat and storm, so God invites us to find refuge under His wings.  Even in the shadow of God's wings we can find protection and refuge.  Psalm 17:8 says, "Keep me as the apple of the eye; hide me in the shadow of  Your wings."

In Numbers 15:38, God told the men of Israel, through Moses, to make tassels and wear them on the corners of their garments.

In Malachi 4:2, we have a promise about Jesus that tells us, "But for you who fear My name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings,".

That phrase for many years did not have much impact to its significance until I learned that the word for corners and wings is the same word in Hebrew.  As the men of Israel were to put the tassels on the corners of their garment to remind them of the commandments of the Lord, so the Son of Man would have healing in the wings of His garments as we see how the woman who bled for twelve years experienced.  As she reached out and very likely touched one of the tassels on Jesus' garments, she received physical healing.

She came near to Jesus.

This thrills me and excites me with a truth that is so inviting and powerful.  To find shelter under the wings of Jesus is to be near Him.  It is to sit at His feet.  To be in the shadow of someone or something you must be near. To be in the shelter of God's wings we need to be close.  We need to be near Him.

In the shadow of God's wings we can find refuge, strength, protection, and shelter from the storms of life.  This does not mean we won't experience any pain, but it does mean we have God's strength, shelter, protection, and nearness while the storm rages and beats.

Stay. Sit.

Staying with Jesus is to sit with Him and to find His presence of strength giving power in our weaknesses.  We can experience Isaiah 40:31, to rise on eagle's wings.

Sit in the shadow of Jesus' wings.  Rest close to Him, learning more of who He is in each moment.  Our moments of joy and sorrow have something to tell us about God.  Our tears and laughter bring Him delight as we draw near.  He cares about each, our both/and that we hold within our hearts.

Today, there is healing in His wings as we find refuge, staying and sitting with Him.

The Rule That Is Not Governed By Condition

The golden rule has long been used as we teach young children how to treat each other.  The golden rule in my mind for long into my adulthood, held the nuance that the other person sbould treat me as they would like to be treated.  If we all treated each other that way, then, wouldn't the world be a nicer place to live in?

Far into my adulthood, I realized that that wasn't the nuance at all to this command of Jesus.  He wasn't saying it for the other person and the way I was treated.  No, He was saying it as part of His kingdom way to love each other when it's the hardest to do so. 

It is a command for each of us personally on how we treat others.  Simply that.   There are no hinges, no nuances, no conditions - simply that I am to treat others, to love as a value as I would want to be treated, loved, and valued.

God's unconditional love has no conditions and is given because He is love.  He embodies love.

So.  What happens when we are ill treated?  What about that slander that was said? How do I want to be treated when I mess up and make a mistake?

Luke 6:27-38 gives a lot of input to that. (Take a moment and read those verses.)

I don't believe Jesus is telling us to overlook abuse of any kind. But if we start with prayer I believe it will change our hearts and add in compassion. 

Also, looking at the life of Jesus and what He modeled for us in the way of relating to those who hurt and slandered Him, gives us a framework in relating with each other.  He loves without conditions. Yes, there are consequences but love, treating someone with value, is still present. 

That I believe we are to embody - unconditional love.  It is part of God's continuing saving grace and healing touch on our lives. 

Living the kingdom ways can only be done as Jesus fills our own hearts, rooting and grounding us with His love and as we allow God's grace to impact us. We will give what we have and are filled with. 

This does not hold a 1-2-3 way of doing and relating, but more of a heart posture. As we pray and stay with Jesus, He will guide us and give wisdom as we need it as we interactwith each other in this world of people broken by sin. 

Lean in to Jesus. Stay under His wings and know that His everlasting arms are underneath you. 

Morning's Glory and Hope

Morning.

Another day.  A clean slate.  Another chance.  A fresh start.

His mercies are new every morning.  Lamentations 3:23

Verses 21-25 of Lamentations are some of my favourites, for the promise and the hope and life of the words spoken breathe courage into my soul to step into a new day.  It makes another beginning in life doable.

The saying that says, "Take life one day at at time, one step at a time"; fits right into this promise of God's mercies being new every morning. That's all we have is today and all we need to do is prioritize the moments that clamor for our attention to sort out what is important to do now.  It's amazing how many urgent things can wait for another day and it all works out.

Yesterday's choices and decisions don't have to continue today.

This day.  This morning we can make this moment count and each step of a right choice leads to more steps of right choices.

I love the hope and grace of morning.  It's a moment that reminds me that I'm not locked into the defining moments that were and happened yesterday.  

Sunset. Sunrise.

Sometimes all you need to do is go to bed and sleep and wake up to the morning with refreshed energy and perspective to step into the next steps of the day.  Sometimes the rest of sleep brings the perspective we need that comes with the morning.

The two verses, 19-20, that precede the hope and promise of verses 21-23 bring a perspective that we all can connect with, affliction, wanderings, bitterness.  

Mistakes, hard things that blindside us or are on-going and we need to find a way through to live in joy.  Rejections and misunderstandings, illnesses and death creep in and redefine the shape of our lives that challenge us in ways we didn't ask for.

Morning.

The glory of the morning hour.

The glory of the morning hour is the hushed and stirring moments before the buzz of all the activity as the day begins.

I'm not a jump-out-of-bed morning person but I do love the moments when I do get up to witness the glory of the morning as the darkness recedes in the presence of light.  The sun's rays stream through the trees as I look toward the east where the sun is rising and bringing with it - light. 

It's the moments of hush and still that stills our hearts to hear the whisper of God and His new morning mercies.  It's the glory of this morning that can still the wild beating of our hearts that may hold fear of the unknown, of the task before us, of the treatment from another human being.  We still our hearts as we reach for the truth of Jesus and repeat His words over and over.  The rhythm of God's truth beats a steadying beat that we can anchor whatever we hold within and what may be staring us in the face today.

Sunset. Sunrise.  

Sunset. Sunrise. The hope of the morning's glory.

Still Giving Life

 

This week holds many thoughts as I reflect, contemplate, and dwell on the actions of this week of Jesus' life.  

After three years of interacting with people, of telling them the ways of His kingdom and who He is and where He comes from; He experiences - the hosannas and waving of palm branches, still missing the purpose of His coming and kingdom.  He hears the words spoken, "I never knew the Man."  He wrestles in the garden with the weight of His purpose.  He was greeted with a kiss from a friend that was betraying loyalty.  He felt the whip of the lashes coming down upon His back.  He heard the mocking cries of His Kingship, of who He is.  The crown of thorns pierces His head, thorns that were part of the curse of our sin, He now wears and is pierced with on the tender place of His head.

Jesus, the One who is the Way to Life.  Jesus, the One who is Truth and told us the truths of His way, is now being ridiculed, whipped, and pierced.

Rejection.

Rejection pierces deep.  Jesus, the Man on the middle cross, hangs there bearing the weight of being mocked and rejected for showing the Way back to Himself.  He dies, being the Way for us.

What is gripping my heart is in the midst of all this, He speaks life and heals for the very ones rejecting Him.  When Peter cut the high priest's servant's ear, Jesus rebuked Peter and reached out and touched the spot where the ear was no longer there and healed it.  Jesus, as the High Priest, touched and healed the one who was a servant to the high priest and coming to arrest Him.  

Healing to the one who came to hurt Him.

Jesus, with pain and compassion, greeted Judas, the one who betrayed Him with an endearment - a kiss to the soldiers coming for Him.

No retaliation - still offering life.

Jesus, on the cross, spoke of forgiveness.  "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do".  Jesus gave His life all the while continuing to give life to those around Him.

As I let this settle into my heart, I am left with the stark reality of my own responses when I am hurt, rejected when I offer myself, and when I experience heartaches.  I am too much like Peter - defending, whirling my defense mechanism.  I sense the tenderness of Jesus saying, "No, stay with Me.  I love you.  I offer life and healing."

I bow my head, confessing, and cry out to Jesus, "Help me.  It's only through You and because of You that I can live out the ways You taught us."  I pause and realize, that if Jesus who is the Way to truth and life does not defend or demand allegiance and to be understood, why should I, a human, demand that I be understood?

When we stay with the Way, we find our way.  We find our way to truth and life.  God's word is truth and is a sword.  We take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God and 'fight'.  Ephesians 6:17

As I write, today is Good Friday, the day Jesus stretched out His arms, open and wide and gave His life so you and I can have life eternal.  Inviting, open.  

The two men who also hung with Jesus offered ridicule, but one repents, choosing Jesus and receives life eternal.

The invitation is still being offered - the invitation to receive the gift of life that Jesus offered and continues to offer.  But we must want it.  We must accept the invitation.  We must let go and see God in the midst of our broken stories.

That life is not only for us personally but as Jesus lived it, He modeled for us the way.  And yes, giving life, even in the midst of pain, betrayal, and mockery.  

Our pain does not need to end with itself.  With Jesus, there is hope and life.

Jesus accepted the weight of His cup as He surrendered to His Father.  As we surrender to Jesus and know of His love, we too, can find the strength to walk the path before us.  We can, because Jesus promises us that He not only gives us life but He is with us in this life.

The weight of the cup and the path Jesus walked became the way to the resurrection and life over death.  The weight of pain and death we experience can also become the way to life and resurrection when we choose Jesus and stay with Him.

Becoming - A Path, A Journey, Not a Destination

 

I like destinations.  I like to hear the words "you arrived."  I reached the goal.  I succeeded and got there safely. Check the box.

I find that it is the way I have tried to live my life.  

I want to correct this bad habit, successfully.  Check.

I follow this commandment of God and the way He calls us to live.  Check.

I return good for the pain I felt.  Check.

I pray.  Check.

I arrived.  I succeeded.  With all that being said and while the many more goals we have are good goals and not wrong; when they become the end, we miss what living for Jesus and doing life His way, is all about.  When the goal becomes the end, we will likely miss who Jesus is for us along the way.

Because what happens when I miss the mark?  What do I do when I don't follow a command the way I should?  Is that a failure?

If I live with this framework then what I do or don't do is the gauge.  It becomes the framework that dictates my success or failure at living the way of Jesus.

This creates a problem because then my salvation and even the continuing to follow Jesus becomes about me and my good works or not.   The focus is on what I do and not what Jesus has done and the gift He offers you and I.  This is not the saving grace of Jesus.  This is not true sanctification.

The word 'become'  means to change, grow to be.  To become indicates an ongoing process.

The familiar quote of 'Life is a journey and not a destination'; connected with me in a defining way one day.  Life is learning and growing and not so much reaching a destination here on earth.  We are striving for our final destination - heaven.  But until we reach that point, life is a journey.  Each day is an opportunity to learn and grow in the knowledge and ways of Jesus.

When I miss the mark and mess up, it is an opportunity to confess and learn from that experience.  It's not a moment that defines me or marks me in ways that cannot be redeemed. Each day starts with - a morning - and with each new morning we have God's grace, His new morning mercies that include power, truth, and strength for the day and wisdom and forgiveness for the mistakes of yesterday.

Sanctification, becoming, learning, changing and being aware of the parts of ourselves that need adjustment, that need the saving grace and healing touch of Jesus is not a once and done deal.  2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us, "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

"Are being" catches my attention.  The verb tense is an ongoing process, a continuing of something.  

 

I want to arrive.  I want to learn the lesson once and for all times.  In some ways this is an admirable goal.  But in many ways, it's binding.  

For many years I struggled with feeling like a failure because it was like 3 steps forward and then back two and shame and defeat hounded my heels and chirped its rhythm of negativity.

In the middle of all that, I am learning the truth that sanctifying me, the saving of my soul by Jesus is not a destination but a journey.  It's not something that is successfully learned - as in accomplished and an end in itself.  Nor is it learned and applied for all times in ways that we never miss the mark and always get it right.  

It is learning and continuing to learn and grow.  It is as the threads of a screw that go around; continuing and layered in learning how to apply the words of Jesus in my everyday living.  The wounds I have experienced and the ways that has impacted me, has levels of understanding them and healing their impact, in and on my heart and mind.

Becoming is a journey that is so freeing because I don't need to learn it once and for all times which means when the pain in my heart is touched and I react and have a trauma response, I can listen to what it is saying to me.  I can let it lead me to Jesus for more understanding and let Him touch me with His healing touch.  There is always room and space for more learning, understanding, and healing; which equals, growth.

Becoming doesn't indicate shame, but growth.

Becoming allows space for more healing instead of staying stuck in what happened.

Becoming is the wings of freedom and the wind that pushes us closer to Jesus.

Becoming is a journey and one that won't end until I take my last breath and am forever in the presence of the One who saves me today, again.