Knowing The Physician's Touch

 

Mornings are the time I like to take my walk.  It is a time for me to begin my day in conversation with God and myself as I reflect, ponder, and pay attention to what is going on inside of me.

One particular morning, following months of praying a prayer for healing in my heart and desiring the touch of Jesus, I felt a shift.  You see, storied within me was a belief system that began years ago in the heart of a 10 year old in fifth grade that there is something wrong with her and if she could only figure it out, then she would be liked.  Blindsided by mistreatment of schoolmates began this quest.

In the days and the years that followed, healing happened in small ways but there still lingered a trigger reaction in certain situations.  Storied in my body and mind was something that I did not have words for.  Certain situations would cause a reaction that was out of reach to talking myself into responding differently.  I knew that only God could heal this reaction.

That morning, I felt the roots forming and taking hold that I am okay with being me.  I actually even like me, at least a little bit. :) I wrestled with God as my Creator because I was having a hard time accepting me, for it seemed there was a major defect.  So to begin to be okay with me was a huge beginning step.

Here I am going to insert a truth - that when we begin to love ourselves in a correct way (it is the second greatest commandment of Gods), then we discover a peace that passes understanding and it affects the way I interact with those around me.  We cannot give what we do not possess.

There is a place of what's broken and aching within our hearts can't be truly righted and healed unless the Master Physician touches it.  We look to people, things, accolades, promotions, etc to make us feel more whole but the ache remains.  Even if the person who hurt us confesses and makes it right, sometimes the pain still lingers.  That is the space for Jesus and for us to know Him.

We can help each other see the light and to know a better way, but in the end the deepest and truest healing touch of Jesus is the only thing that can truly satisfy our aches and brokenness.  We are to be a companion and to love each other, but there will always remain a space for Jesus and Jesus alone.

In the loneliest of nights, in the deepest caverns and broken fissures of our hearts, and in the driest spaces of the wilderness and desert is the space that Jesus wants to be discovered as our Master Physician.  He wants to heal us in ways that only He can and it just may surprise you how satisfying His touch will be.

Jesus told the woman who came to the well for a drink, in the middle of the day and alone, if you knew Who was asking for a drink you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.  She came to the well to satisfy her physical need of water and thirst but she left satisfied in the place that mattered the most - her heart and soul.  She also left her waterpot, the very need she had come to fulfill.

Do we forget who Jesus is in our time of need?  I recognize that it is easy to slip into a habit of figuring life out and looking to others for our help.  Our times of desert places, wilderness moments, darkness, and loneliness is the very place we can choose to look to Jesus for our healing and find a satisfaction beyond our imagination .  

The Israelites forgot that over and over, time and time again when they were in the wilderness.  They reached a hard spot, were thirsty, hungry and the first thing they did was to complain.  They longed for what they had in Egypt at times.  They longed for the comfort of food and plenty forgetting the intense persecution they had been experiencing and longing to be delivered from.

We have that same human tendency to forget.  If we know who Jesus is, we too, can be satisfied with the Living Water.

What do you do to keep from forgetting who God is for you? How do we really live this out?  How do we learn to know Jesus?  How do we experience His touch?  Are some questions that you may ask.  God may seem distant and how do we reach Him?

He says whoever believes Me will be saved, having eternal life.  John 6:47, John 20:31, Acts 16:31 are a few verses that tell us of this truth.

Two things catch my attention, one is when Jesus told the woman, "If you knew who was asking you for a drink?" and the other is when she left her waterpot at the well to go and tell others about Jesus and inviting them to come and see Him.

Believing Jesus is a choice.  It is quite simple - faith, believing and yet we strive for something more. We can trust Him because He is faithful and never lies.  Knowing Jesus comes by reading the Word of God and believing it in the light and the dark times we experience.

If you find yourself in the darkness or in the wilderness, feeling lost and alone, I invite you to reach for the words of truth found in the Bible and claim them.  Read them as often as you need to allowing them to penetrate the places that can only be touched and healed by Jesus our Master Physician.

He wants you to know Him.  We too, often come with the desire to satisfy our needs in one way and when we encounter Jesus, we walk away satisfied in the place that matters the most - our mind, heart, and soul.  We, too can leave behind our 'waterpots', the very need we came to fulfill and find a deeper healing.

Our Jagged Edges Find Their Place

 

Jagged Edges

Our life’s story once held edges that were clean and smooth

Their shape and lines told of joy.

Their shape made sense in many ways.

They fit, at least for a time.

It may have been a brief moment.

Then for some reason, one day, 

Death, sorrow, and pain disrupted that edge

Leaving it broken, shattered, and jagged.

My story line ripped and broke

And with its jagged edges, it left me bleeding.

My broken pieces, the jagged line

Don’t fit in that box.

Their edges pierce.

They bear a story that is worth listening to

But I am scared, shivering, and wondering.

What if you get too close, will you walk away?

My pieces and edge hurt me, they will hurt you.

I try a piece of purple cloth, wrapping it around me

hoping its royalty will cover those edges.

I straighten my hair, find an article of clothing that I feel good in.

Tomorrow, I try white, hoping to feel the thrill of clean.

I sing. I work. I create.

All the while, hoping it is seen more than my edges.

But it doesn't work.

The edges pierce the cloth.

Broken and jagged edges aren’t mended or healed by being discarded

They invite us to walk the hard path.

They invite us to step into bravery, donning on courage.

Courage to face them, run our fingers over the edges

And listen.

Listen to what they say.

Listen to the story they are trying to tell us.

Looking at them with tears,

Holding them and giving them a space to be.

What about your edges?  

What if I get close?

Yes, they will hurt.

The question is - 

Will you - Will I - don on courage?

Will we wrap it about us like a cloak,

Braving the jagged edges that our stories hold?

Will we allow them to take space and not fit in a box?

Our story edges are asking for a place to be.

In that place they break a bit more, smoothing the edge just a bit,

And we discover the jagged becomes a little less sharp.

Our broken pieces and jagged edges 

Are not the whole story.

When we invite Jesus to sit with us,

Giving Him the jagged edged pieces –

He, in the way that only He can,

Fits those pieces back into our story

And they become part of the whole redeeming paradigm.

His hands and feet bear the marks of a broken edge.

His side was pierced 

And His head bears the marks of the crown of thorns.

He was pierced.

He was broken.

For you and for me.

He is not afraid of your jagged edges.

He wants to touch them with His gentle, gracious, and healing touch.

He wants to whisper to you –

In My hands I will fit them into a masterpiece of redemption.

- words by Judith Lapp

The Lord is near the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18

Cast all your care in Him, for He cares for you. I Peter 5:7

The mission of Jesus was and is to heal, to revive the smoking flax, and to set the prisoner free. Isaiah 42:3 & 61:1

There are times we need His healing touch on wounded and bleeding hearts. Like the woman who bled physically for 12 years, we too bleed. We bleed inside from a harsh word spoken to us. Maybe our parents spoke words of shame and condemnation. Those friends in school may have left us on the edge. That job you really wanted was given to someone else. Maybe you simply wonder where in this big world do I fit?

There are also those times that life just kinda snuffs the life within and we close our hearts as we shut down to protect ourselves. Life feels to raw to be vulnerable. 

And then in the middle of all that we lock ourselves in.  We make declarations and try a little harder to look good, to be an asset, and all the while we feel the chains. The chains of "I will never", "I will not..."  Bitterness can so quickly take its hold as we remember the injustices and pain. 

Our stories hold pieces that may be out of our control, like when we're little and someone big took advantage of us in any way. Our stories may hold the silent bleeding of wanting to fit in, in this big world. Our stories may hold the "too soon taking- away" of someone we love. 

Whatever pain shattered the edges of your joy and live and life, know that it matters. 

Let's sit for a moment, tracing those jagged edges.

Now let's reach, like that bleeding woman did those many years ago. She reached toward Jesus with faith. She thought, "If I could but touch the hem of His garment, I could find healing. "  Let's reach toward him. With faith. I imagine her reach may have been cautious but bold. It was done in and among the throng of people, very likely not wanting to be seen. 

I wonder if she expected to simply go home, healed and changed?

Faith, a belief in Jesus, is all you need in the midst of your broken pieces. 

Because Jesus is the master Healer and He takes those pieces you cast on Him and in the way that only He can, He fits them together to make something new.  Isaiah 43:19, reminds us that He does something new, rivers in the desert and roadways in the wilderness. 

Our story from the past is fit together with our story of today.  Jesus blends and fits the pieces together to tell a new story, a redemption story. We don't need to discard one for the other or even choose one above the other, but they can become one to make a whole. 

You will very likely be left in awe and wonderment at what healing just took place. You will join the many people who experienced Jesus's love, gentle grace, and healing touch and were in awe.  I know I have and it's possible for you too.

Much love, 

Judith 

What We Reach For in Life - Matters

 

There are two woman who reach for something.  Life happened, choices were made and the results were two completely different outcomes.

The first woman is Eve.  Eve, perfect, never knowing evil, only good and perfect good, was given a new thought, about the fruit on a tree that God had told them not eat.

I am going to give a bit of my introspection... how could Eve really grasp the reality of what Satan was offering her when he encouraged her to eat?  After all she was perfect, had no wrong desires, did not know evil.  She had nothing to compare with what she was about to do.  To her, after the enticing words of the serpent, the fruit looked good to eat and she reached.

She chose to reach.  She reached for what Satan told her God was holding back from her.  She reached for the fruit that looked good to eat.  She reached for something she thought she was lacking.

The other woman, and we don't even know her name, was one who lived with a blood issue for twelve years.  Having this blood hemorrhage would mean she is unclean, continually, all the time.  Which meant she had to stay away from certain places, certain people; she lived life, alone.  She very likely stayed at home and went for water when there would have been no other people besides those who also were unclean.  She stayed home except to search for healing, spending all she had.

As the days slip by, she starts to hear about a man named, Jesus.  She hears about His healings, she hears and somewhere deep inside, she wonders.  She wonders if she has a chance??  We don't have much of where her faith develops, but it does and one day, one day she takes a quiet risk - she goes into the crowd and reaches.

She reaches for Jesus.  She reaches for only the hem of His garment (as some translations say) or His outer garment, thinking if only I can but touch Him I will be healed.  She reaches from behind Him, thinking to then quietly slip away.

Immediately she felt the healing course through her body and also, immediately, Jesus knew.

He turns around and asks, "Who touched Me?"

Now in a crowd, people pushing and shoving, would not Jesus have been touched before?  Yes.  But this time He knew the power within Him, went out. 

The woman, in fear and trembling, came forward.  She took a greater risk and exposed herself.  People knew her story and now she tells Jesus all of it.

And His words to her, "Your faith has made you well", changed her life in deeper ways than even the physical healing she received that day.

Faith.  Faith is believing, reaching for Jesus in our darkness, in the hard of our stories; and believing He is the One who heals.

For her, her issue was healed; but she received a full and complete healing because of her faith.

We can come to Jesus for our physical healing and He often heals.  But the deeper healing comes through our faith.  Our faith in Him, whether the physical piece looks like we want it to or not.

Faith heals us deeply.  Faith heals us where it matters most, within our heart and mind.

These two options are still our today... 

When we're sad and darkness overwhelms us,  we can reach for anything to numb our pain.

When temptation knocks on our door, we can open it; hoping to satisfy the restless and longings we may have.

We can reach for the fruit that looks good, wondering what we're missing out on.  We can reach, controlling what we think looks right.  

This reach was a reach that brought death to Adam and Eve.  This reach opened their world to now know the world of good and evil.  This reach still brings death, death to our souls in ways that destroys, steals, and kills God's life within us; His abundant life.

Or.

We can reach for Jesus, believing in faith that He holds the answers we need.  We can reach for Him for the healing we need in the areas that need it the most, our hearts.  

We can reach for grace to say no to temptation and look to the One who gives us His satisfying truth.

We can claim His words of truth as the darkness, fears and sadness threatens to take us down.

This reach brings life.

And so, just like these two women, we too, have a choice to make in our story and the happenings we walk through.  We can reach for what we think looks good and satisfying in the moment or reach out to the One who is Life and Truth and wants to heal us in deep, deep places where only faith can reach.