Knowing The Physician's Touch

 

Mornings are the time I like to take my walk.  It is a time for me to begin my day in conversation with God and myself as I reflect, ponder, and pay attention to what is going on inside of me.

One particular morning, following months of praying a prayer for healing in my heart and desiring the touch of Jesus, I felt a shift.  You see, storied within me was a belief system that began years ago in the heart of a 10 year old in fifth grade that there is something wrong with her and if she could only figure it out, then she would be liked.  Blindsided by mistreatment of schoolmates began this quest.

In the days and the years that followed, healing happened in small ways but there still lingered a trigger reaction in certain situations.  Storied in my body and mind was something that I did not have words for.  Certain situations would cause a reaction that was out of reach to talking myself into responding differently.  I knew that only God could heal this reaction.

That morning, I felt the roots forming and taking hold that I am okay with being me.  I actually even like me, at least a little bit. :) I wrestled with God as my Creator because I was having a hard time accepting me, for it seemed there was a major defect.  So to begin to be okay with me was a huge beginning step.

Here I am going to insert a truth - that when we begin to love ourselves in a correct way (it is the second greatest commandment of Gods), then we discover a peace that passes understanding and it affects the way I interact with those around me.  We cannot give what we do not possess.

There is a place of what's broken and aching within our hearts can't be truly righted and healed unless the Master Physician touches it.  We look to people, things, accolades, promotions, etc to make us feel more whole but the ache remains.  Even if the person who hurt us confesses and makes it right, sometimes the pain still lingers.  That is the space for Jesus and for us to know Him.

We can help each other see the light and to know a better way, but in the end the deepest and truest healing touch of Jesus is the only thing that can truly satisfy our aches and brokenness.  We are to be a companion and to love each other, but there will always remain a space for Jesus and Jesus alone.

In the loneliest of nights, in the deepest caverns and broken fissures of our hearts, and in the driest spaces of the wilderness and desert is the space that Jesus wants to be discovered as our Master Physician.  He wants to heal us in ways that only He can and it just may surprise you how satisfying His touch will be.

Jesus told the woman who came to the well for a drink, in the middle of the day and alone, if you knew Who was asking for a drink you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.  She came to the well to satisfy her physical need of water and thirst but she left satisfied in the place that mattered the most - her heart and soul.  She also left her waterpot, the very need she had come to fulfill.

Do we forget who Jesus is in our time of need?  I recognize that it is easy to slip into a habit of figuring life out and looking to others for our help.  Our times of desert places, wilderness moments, darkness, and loneliness is the very place we can choose to look to Jesus for our healing and find a satisfaction beyond our imagination .  

The Israelites forgot that over and over, time and time again when they were in the wilderness.  They reached a hard spot, were thirsty, hungry and the first thing they did was to complain.  They longed for what they had in Egypt at times.  They longed for the comfort of food and plenty forgetting the intense persecution they had been experiencing and longing to be delivered from.

We have that same human tendency to forget.  If we know who Jesus is, we too, can be satisfied with the Living Water.

What do you do to keep from forgetting who God is for you? How do we really live this out?  How do we learn to know Jesus?  How do we experience His touch?  Are some questions that you may ask.  God may seem distant and how do we reach Him?

He says whoever believes Me will be saved, having eternal life.  John 6:47, John 20:31, Acts 16:31 are a few verses that tell us of this truth.

Two things catch my attention, one is when Jesus told the woman, "If you knew who was asking you for a drink?" and the other is when she left her waterpot at the well to go and tell others about Jesus and inviting them to come and see Him.

Believing Jesus is a choice.  It is quite simple - faith, believing and yet we strive for something more. We can trust Him because He is faithful and never lies.  Knowing Jesus comes by reading the Word of God and believing it in the light and the dark times we experience.

If you find yourself in the darkness or in the wilderness, feeling lost and alone, I invite you to reach for the words of truth found in the Bible and claim them.  Read them as often as you need to allowing them to penetrate the places that can only be touched and healed by Jesus our Master Physician.

He wants you to know Him.  We too, often come with the desire to satisfy our needs in one way and when we encounter Jesus, we walk away satisfied in the place that matters the most - our mind, heart, and soul.  We, too can leave behind our 'waterpots', the very need we came to fulfill and find a deeper healing.

The God-Filled Space in Relationships

God. People. Relationships. 

God created man and formed Eve out of man. Breathing into man His own breath and man became a living soul, living with the very breath of God. This creation was different than what God created previously. 

Deeply connected to God. Created, not spoken into existence. Breath from the very being of God.

Two people carry the breath and life of God in their very being. Two people who are to carry on the image of God, passing it on in their own connection and relationship.

It didn't take long to mar and forever change the way relationships were.

In connectedness, community, and relationships; pain happens. 

In connectedness, community, and relationships; healing and health happens. 

But not a saving. That's for Jesus. He's our Saviour, our Redeemer. 

Before I am aware at times, I so often am expecting people to save me, to come through for me.

Relationships are quite the tug of war, quite the i-want-them and then-i-don't. I want to live alone and then it's not enough. 

We are created for relating to each other. We were established to help each other, reminding each other of Jesus.  Reminding us to remember who Jesus is and who we are in Him.  Reminding each other what Eve questioned and we often question too, that God DOES have our good in mind, in the very core of His being.  

I find when I place the proper expectations of what God established for relationships, I want to live in them. 

As a result of the sin; brokenness, pain, and shame entered our relationships.  We now know good and evil.  Pain and joy.

God said He would provide a Saviour, a Redeemer. He would provide a way back, a redeeming of all broken. 

And it does us well to remember that. Because in the space of all the broken in our relationships, is the space that only God can fill and redeem. It's in connectedness to Jesus that heals the deepest, a staying with Him.  Depending on Jesus and finding Him, is not hinged on any physical or tangible person.  And that allows for healing in the deepest parts and corners of our hearts and souls.

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There are many variables that can hinder that healing and finding Jesus. 

We are to walk together, helping each other, but in the painful and aching spaces, that's the space for our Saviour and Redeemer.

As Joni Eareckson Tada states, "To press in to Jesus and to know Him is the purpose of suffering."  Not what it does to me, how it grows my prayer life or makes me a better person, no, it's to know more of Jesus.   Songs of Suffering film is a short documentary by Joni that is so inspiring to find Jesus in the hard.

It's so easy to blame the people we can see and physically interact with, to put the responsibility on them to do and say the right thing.  

And that's the tug of war, the push/pull of relationships. 

Because as people interacting with each other we do have a responsibility to interact in the ways of Jesus, kindness, honoring, patient, loving, etc.

And when that doesn't happen, pain and hurt hurl us to blame if we're not careful.  And please hear me, I'm not advocating that we just take it without dialogue or conversation of some sort.

But what I am saying and where I have wrestled intensely with disappointment and feeling missed or overlooked or even like I don't matter, is there in the midst of all that, is the space to press in to Jesus.  The space that only He can really fill and wants to fill.  

The space where He wants to heal us, even if...  To heal us in spite of anything around us or anyone.  That to me is liberating!  Because my healing and freedom doesn't hinge on anything or anyone!

I can sit on a trash heap and sing with joy because it's inside me.  I can see beauty because beauty is to be seen somewhere and in something and it isn't hinged on my surroundings. (good surroundings sure help, though 😉)

One thing I've learned in my suffering journey is, God wants to be known, just like I want to be known.  God wants to be loved, just like I want to be loved.

And that, has so influenced and changed me in the midst of disappointments, pain, and relating with people.

And from that God-filled space perspective, we own and make our decisions as we interact with each other.  Taking the painful pieces to Jesus to sort through so we don't live in a reactionary place, swinging our pain that only adds to what's going on.

Healing and healed people, encourage others.

Hurt people, hurt people.

I know.  It may sound harsh and unfair.  And in a lot of ways it is. But really, finding healing in the presence of Jesus is a gift because it can happen whether or not the other person cooperates with reconciliation or not.

So, my dear friends and fellow sojourners, let's find Jesus in those spaces of loneliness, pain, denial, and hurt.  To find Jesus enough and His healing is so liberating and that's exactly why Jesus came.  He came to heal the brokenhearted, preach deliverance or release to the captives, recovery of sight to the blind, and set free those who are oppressed. (Luke 4:18)

Some of the most free and healed people are oe were in some of the most hard places.  I think of Corrie Ten Boom, Elizabeth Elliot, Fanny Crosby, Hellen Keller, and many today like Joni Eareckson Tada, Jennifer Rothschild, and even you.  Because in all reality we all have hard we live in and walk through.  Some live in it more intensely.  Each of us carry something deep in our hearts that we would rather not have to carry.  Each of us have a place, that in the end only Jesus can heal and fill.

Bitterness blinds.  Pain oppresses and keeps one captive. Hard breaks my heart.  And in those moments I'm given a choice as I navigate whether I find Jesus more deeply or allow my blindness, oppression to keep me captive.   

Jesus' mission to helping us find freedom does not say anything that includes the one who caused the disappointment, pain, or rejection.  It's only Jesus.  He will heal as we let Him. (Reconciliation is another facet that doesn't swing the door on our healing.)

I want Jesus in those spaces that hurt.