Following Jesus was never about perfection. It wasn't getting it right that made someone a follower. It was wanting to learn.
A rabbi's follower was someone who stayed with the person showing up day after day to learn from him.
The twelve disciples weren't chosen for their perfection, they were simply chosen and given the choice to follow Jesus.
The invitation given was to follow Him. The days that followed was the learning to know who Jesus is.
"Did you not know I must be in my Father's house?", were the words Jesus said to His searching parents.
To the disciples - "Do you know who I am?"
To Mary, when she told Jesus if you had been here my brother would not have died, Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection".
Jesus again and again, over and over was telling and showing people who He was. He even got frustrated at times with the seemingly just-not-getting it from those who followed Him. He showed who He was in the multiplying of the loaves and fishes. He revealed who He was to the disciples in the fourth watch of the night as they battled and struggled in the fierce storm. When Peter walked on the water, as the many people were healed, Jesus was revealing more of who He was. As He spoke to the multitudes on the hillsides or to the disciples as they walked, He was telling them ways so opposite to what they understood but they were the ways of who He is.
The same is for us today. Jesus wants us to know Him, to learn from Him and of Him. He wants to show us who He is - through His names, His actions, and most of all through our faith.
In our night watches of wrestling, fears, and tears falling, who is Jesus? When we get a diagnosis or the pain just doesn't go away, what does Jesus want us to know about Him? Maybe you were missed by the people who love you, rejection showed up at your door, or words spoken want to define you - what does Jesus say and what truth does He want you and I to know?
Our faith is a believing in Him. It's staying with Him, showing up again and again especially when He doesn't make sense to our human minds. Faith is the reaching for Jesus to learn more, to ask the question, "Lord, help me understand and help me to see You when I have fears and questions and when life doesn't make sense."
The challenge for me is to learn to live with an openness. Open to what could be and to the possibilities that lie within the very thing we would rather not be in. With Jesus nothing is wasted. With Jesus we find our hearts and minds being realigned, which hurts sometimes. For in my humanity and human thought-processes, I think this is good or important and valuable. He in His infinite wisdom and all-knowingness says, "No, this is what is truly good."
Jesus invites us in Matthew 11:28-29 to learn of Him. He is the Rabbi, the Teacher. Do you want to be His student, His follower? If you answer yes, stay with Him, sit in His presence and offer your questions, fears, and aches.
He wants to tell you more about who He is.
Showing up again, today, is the space we wait and we find Jesus.
The prayer of Psalm 25:4-5 -
Make me know Thy ways, O Lord; teach me Thy paths.
Lead me in Thy truth and teach me, for Thou art the God of my salvation; for Thee I wait all the day.
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