Psalm 23: 4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou are with me; Thy rod and staff they comfort me.
I hate pain. I hate pain of any sort, physical, emotional, and mental. I hate to see you in pain and walking through hardships. I'll be honest - I want to right it, to fix it for you. At least, may I give you tools to navigate it all.
But more and more I realize and most of the time I am in its mystery, that the wrestling in hardship and pain works a good that we otherwise don't experience. As much as I have a dislike for pain, I am learning to trust my Master.
A friend wrote a line that has stuck with me, "Sometimes helping can be hurting." For her it's in her position as a doula, helping the mother birth a child. For me, it's in walking with others in their wrestlings and darkness. For you, well you fill in the blank.
Let's take a look at the butterfly. What would you like to do if you gave witness to the emerging of the butterfly? It's wrestling to come out of the cocoon and develop wings to fly, is so vital for it's ability to live and fly. If you step in to help the butterfly, it hurts it. The wrestling builds the strength of the butterfly's wings so it can fly. If you help it, you stunt its growth and actually cripple it. They release a chemical as they come out of their chrysalis that strengthens their wings. The movement of the wrestling pushes and pulses this chemical through their wings, giving them the strength they need to fly.
Okay. So, I will do my best to let you wrestle, just do it with the pulse of God's truths coursing through your heart and mind. That is what will give you strength to fly.
In all honesty, I get it. I have experienced the darkness of wondering what my purpose is, of knowing pain in all its forms, and walking through the darkness of mental unhealth to where my fight to live was little to none. In my valley of darkness and yes, the shadow of death, God intervened and guided me through His Holy Spirit and I reached for Him in desperation. I reached for Him through choosing to believe His truths above and over the paradigm that was coursing through my heart and mind. In the aloneness of my valley, I found Jesus, the Saviour, in ways I wouldn't have if people had stepped in. Now I am not advocating not caring for people in their pain. What I am saying, if you find yourself in a position where you feel forsaken and maybe you are all alone; it is an opportunity for you to reach for Jesus, your Saviour. He is the only One who can truly give you life and in the wrestling and hardship your wings of faith will strengthen as you choose to believe His words.
Sometimes helping is hurting.
Daily. Sometimes it was minute by minute and moment by moment, choosing to stay with God and believe Him, even when He seemed distant and in a corner. I felt alone and uncared for.
In the wrestling to believe God was with me and near; I faced the very thing I feared - abandonment and being left alone in the hardship and darkness.
But I wasn't.
God's staff and rod were guiding and comforting me. I can trace it and see it now.
Over 2000 years ago, God intervened. He split the dark night sky with the glorious light of an angel announcing to the hillside of sheep and shepherds with the news that Jesus came. A Saviour. Immanuel.
That night broke the silence of 400 years. 400 years of waiting, wondering and doing it over and over. Will the Messiah come? Where is He? This Roman rule is so cruel. Oh, how long?
The way of Jesus is a mystery. A king coming as a baby, vulnerable and dependent on someone else. Arriving in a stable where life was stinky and messy and noisy. There was a stigma to being a shepherd, lowly.
But friend, oh how beautiful is this. Jesus is our Good Shepherd and what better people to announce His arrival than to shepherds.
God's ways are best even though many times I wrestle to understand them. He is with us. He intervenes in the darkness, in our darkness. And though it often doesn't look like we think it should, it is His way to our life, peace, and wings of redemption that we us to fly. But we must choose Him.
So, in this season where we celebrate and are reminded of His coming as a baby. Let's not miss Him because it didn't look the way we thought it should, as a King would come.
You can trust Him. Your faith is your wings to fly, whether the storm rages or the sun shines.
So, I will pray that you have courage to have faith. That you will choose to stay with Jesus in your weakness, doubts, fears believing His words of truth that can set you free. Jesus is still in the business of setting captives free with His amazing manna grace and faithful love that so often happens in the dark of the night.
John 8:38 - And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Good Shepherd. Immanuel - God with us. Saviour. Comforter. The One who Intervenes.
