The Heartbeat of Winter

Winter.
Winter is hard.  It's cold.  The harsh winds blow.  And it has a beauty all of its own.
We either want to hunker down, hide, run to warmer climates, or enjoy it.

But what really is winter??  What do the trees and perennial flowers do??  The trees are stripped bare.  Open for all the world to see.  They toss to and fro, bending greatly at times as the harsh, cold winds blow fiercely, at times.

If you look a little closer.  A bit longer...
There is a hidden strength that is majestic...

One November day as I was taking my usual Sunday afternoon walk,  I was wrestling, talking and crying out to God, and simply taking a few minutes to breathe deep the quietness of the moment.  No demands on me for this moment, no 'mommy-ing' moments.  Simply time to gather a few thoughts together.

As I was walking down the last hill, there are trees on either side, bare, brown, and stripped after the reds and yellows have fallen and faded away; and in the middle of that scene, a thought jars my thoughts....
"It's beautiful!"

I stopped.  Backed up a bit.  Looked at the trees that seem so lifeless.  There was the sun shining on the trees and yes, it was a glorious sight.  It was beautiful.

But HOW can that be? they're brown.  there is no colour like there was a few months ago.
Beauty in Barreness.  whispers in my soul.

I paused for a moment.  beauty. in. barrenness.
I contemplate.  I twirl that around as I walk up the last hill and into our lane.  It's a thought that drew me.  wouldn't let go.  invited me to something...

In the midst of rejection, relationship struggles,  personal aches, longings, and disappointments and not knowing what to do, I felt God calling me to Him.  To put my roots down in Him as the tree does in the ground during the winter's season.

And so, I listened, I learned, I cried out to God with the aches and unmet longings.  I wrote them down.  (the first time journaling worked for me.  I started writing my anger, my frustrations, my questions and it was amazing how that brought relief and also clarity.  I write as if I'm talking to God)  And I learned from the tree.

Over the next few days, I mulled this around in my head and heart, and took analogies from the tree.  I pondered and looked up the word - barren.  It means no life and I did not feel like that fit the tree or even we, as people.  Most times there is life, it just may be dormant or not bearing fruit and that's what bare means. (Webster's definition is: without natural or customary covering; without clothing, naked; without furnishings, empty; without embellishments, unadorned; to open to view, uncover; expose) So I switched the words to Beauty in Bareness.

Do you feel exposed? open to view?  without adornment, plain?  It is a moment where God wants to shine on you, for you to 'see' and remember who you really are...
Has death entered your journey?  Loss of any kind?  Are the harsh winds of winter blowing over your soul?  Winter is when we feel these cold winds and feel numb.  It's where we are called to cling to the hand of the One who is holding us.  Choosing to believe His glory is shining on our bare soul.

Here are a few tidbits gleaned from the tree...

- They have lost their outward adornment - leaves/fruit.  It is their beauty, their glory.  Yet, when they are stripped, they stand tall.  When I am stripped of something important or am feeling bare, do I give in to the weight of loss or do I stand tall knowing that my Father has me?

- They put their roots down in the winter, refueling, gaining strength for the coming summer's fruit.  What are your roots grounded in?  Are they shallow or going deeper in the love and knowledge of God?

- When there is a storm and the harsh winds blow a tree will bend or break.  Is your heart bending toward God when life is harsh and ugly?  or is it breaking away from Him, the One who loves you.

- As the trees stand there, naked, vulnerable, exposed; it is really the core of who they are and their strength is determined by the depth of their roots.  The leaves/fruit are only an extension of who they are.  In the same way, what you do is only an extension of you.  It's not what defines you.  GOD'S LOVE DOES THAT.  A peach tree is still a peach tree whether there is a peach hanging from it or not.  The peach does not make it a peach tree.

- And the next time the sun shines, take a moment to look at the trees, noticing the glory that illuminates them.  And the snow, how it covers and adds a beauty.  He washes us WHITER than snow.  God's glory can illumine our weakness and vulnerability.  And that's what's it's all about anyway - HIS GLORY.   And when the leaves are removed, the sun can be seen deeper into the forest.  In the same way, the Son wants to be seen in our lives.

- When leaves are on a tree, the forest is dense.  It's thick and you can't see through.  You see the fruit and leaves.  When the leaves are off, you can see more.  When our 'leaves' are stripped, God has the opportunity to be seen more, deeper if we choose to bend towards Him. to find Him...  A reminder that our true strength is in Jesus and not our ability to bear fruit.  That happens because of our connection to Jesus.

- A tree bears fruit.  It does not produce because it works to make it happen or it cannot be put on a branch.  It happens as it gets the nutrients from the soil.  The same for us, our fruit bearing happens because of a connection, the proper nutrients and that is Jesus.  Jesus' love, not based on what you do or don't do, is the foundation and security our hearts need to thrive and produce fruit.  His words of Greater Truth must be absorbed into the soil of our hearts.  Fighting the reality of what happened and the lies we believe about that, with the words of what He says.  Then FRUIT HAPPENS.  Without the striving and the working...


The next time you see a bare, brown tree in the winter, let it remind you of it's true, hidden strength found in the ground where its roots are bearing down.
The brown tree is more than brown.  it is vulnerable, renewing strength for the summer ahead.  It is resting.  And I remembered that feeling as I viewed the scene I described earlier - rest.

And I remember the call - to let go.  To let go of what I think should happen or be.  To let go of what defines me and remember that my true identity is in God , the One who never changes and what He says about me.  It's not what 'clothes' me, that defines me.  Because then my identity would constantly be changing.  Changing and depending on me to do it well, so that it says something well of me.

As scary as vulnerability is, it is beautiful.  There is a restful beauty in a vulnerable heart, that allows God's love to shine in and through it.

The flip side to vulnerability is hardness.  Not bending when the winds blow.  Again, like the tree, some stand tall, others fall.  They usually fall because there is no longer life in them.  When we become hardened and don't bend, the life of our heart is snuffed out.  These trees may have stood for a season or two, but sooner or later, they break.  We can hide for a while, but if our hearts are not grounded, it will eventually show itself.

We had a tree at the end of our lane for a few summers that was slowly dying.  We would wonder if we should cut it down and then half of it would produce some leaves.  Eventually, it was totally dead. We didn't get it cut down right away, and then I requested it stay there for a summer or two, because that's where I was at. Bare.  Brown. in the middle of summer's fruit and activity. So the tree stood and God whispered to my heart... "It's okay.  It's a season"  And it was.  There are times when winter is a season of our hearts, right in the middle of summer.  Right in the middle of other people's summers.  It's okay.
Eventually I was ready to let it be cut down.  You won't stay where you're at for ever.
Not with a heart bent towards him and grounding in His love.
Let the Son illuminate your bare soul.

A favourite saying of mine... "In a way, winter is the real spring, the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature."  -Edna O'Brien, Irish novelist

** I know that some winters are extremely hard and long.  I do not in any way want to belittle or make you feel like you need to be strong when you are weak.  I know.  Sometimes all you can do is the moment.  I just want to encourage you to choose to cling to the hand of our Father, for He has not left you.  Read His Words.  Talk to Him.  He is BIG AND STRONG ENOUGH to handle your emotions.  His name is a strong tower.  Run to it and you are safe.  Proverbs 18:10

Autumn's Dying Splendour

Autumn is a season of splendour. Of fabulous colours.
It is in actuality - a dying.
It's the call to do those last minute summer things we wanted to get done before the cold winds blow.
The leaves will soon fall and cover the ground, leaving the limbs of the trees bare, exposed, vulnerable.

It is a stripping of all that we may feel we are. A stripping of an identity that we have created or is a natural ability or gift that we say, "That's who I am".  It is a taking away, so we can see better.  It is a stripping to rediscover who we really are.

It's easy to make 'summer's' activity a part of who we are.  The season of where we are prospering and succeeding. Of where we may be getting it right...

What 'leaves' of yours may be falling??
- talents?
-identity?
-friendships?
-accomplishments?

The trouble is when we place our identity in something that changes, when the change occurs, we become angry, disillusioned, withdrawn, etc.  Our identity must come from the One who never changes and who never leaves us.  (Hebrews 12:5)

If you are a good baseball or football player, you will always need to hit, throw, or catch well.
If you are a good singer, then singing the correct notes become important and doing it right is priority.
If you are an artist or writer, then what someone says about your painting or writing becomes very important!
I must get it right...  I need you to get it right... I must succeed... otherwise, who am I??

But if you are a daughter or son of God and know that deep in your soul, then being a baseball/football player becomes fun and you care about the one who may not be as good as you.  A good singer becomes delightful, for you sing from a heart that is loved.
If you write and paint, the colours and words flow out of heart that knows a bit more of His words in our story and how all the colours make a beautiful portrait.

Our lives become a symphony.  A song for Him when all is done out of being loved and known by the One who is Life and loves us well.

So, sometimes, a stripping is necessary to remind us of this truth.  His greater Truth.  Sometimes, we must experience a death to a dream, a failure to something we're good at.  Sometimes we need to miss the ball, to remember His strength is sufficient.
Our fallen nature wants to be top-dog.  We want to be the best, the brightest, the most right.  That's not God's nature.  His is humility.  Looking out for those around you.  Sometimes you are strongest when you bend down.  You are the best when you let someone go before you.  You are most right, when you are quiet or speak an encouraging word for someone else to succeed.

What has or is stripping you??
-a death of a loved one?
-disappointments?
-rejection?
-moving to a new community?
-a dream that seems to have folded under?

And so I ponder... if autumn's colours are glorious and in reality the leaves are dying and soon the trees bare, "Why do we think it beautiful?"  Could it be that as hard as the 'deaths' are in our journey, they display a glory to those who look on??  A tree is doing what it is meant to be and do, and when we do what we are meant to do - depend on God, choosing to look for Him and find Him in the middle of hard, it is glorious.  Because then we are being, resting in the One who created us to glorify Him.  To be an extension of Him.

Glorious, in the finished product, while the moment is hard.
All colours together create the whole picture.
Every black and white note creates the symphony.

If you, my friend, are in the middle of being stripped, out of comfort zone, it just may be that's where God wants you to be... (I say that gently...) He wants you to re-member Him and who you are in Christ.  He has the final Word of who you are.  You are loved. by. Him. no. more. no. less.
Take His words to your bleeding and wounded heart and let them soak in and bring healing.  For it is only in death (of ourselves and self-protections) that life (Jesus) can be birthed within us.  As a seed falls into the ground and dies, only then can it bring forth fruit.  John 12:24
There is a glory in death that we are not aware of.  that I cannot grasp...  It's hard.  It's painful.  It's a glory all of its own.

Your dream may be coming true, it just looks differently...
You may lose your identity, to find your true one...
You may fail, to learn of His strength
(and for me it is to remind me that my worth is not dependent on me succeeding... I am valuable because HE LOVES ME.)

And, maybe, the words you hear are louder and stronger than His words of Truth and so, I fight for you - YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING TO HIM.  HE LOVES YOU.  HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU.  (say it to yourself, take it to the Father and ask Him if it's true, and listen to what He says.)

YOU BELONG.  (Isaiah 43:1)
   YOU ARE LOVED.   (Jeremiah 31:3)
      YOU ARE VALUABLE. YOU MATTER.  (Isaiah 49:15-16)
(these are truths that God gave to me and spoke to my words that were beating loudly in my heart.  these are truths that I need to go back to over and over.  Sometimes it's a conscious choosing to believe His greater Truth.  I share them here, because maybe someone needs to hear them.)  if you want to respond and don't want to here where all comments can be viewed, my email is jelsymphony@gmail.com

Autumn is a reminder of His grace.  A reminder of Jesus' strength and power in the middle of hard.  That, there is a glory that happens when we find Jesus to be enough.

Summer's Fruit

We all have a favourite season and each season has a glory to be explored and valued.

Summer is a time of sun, warmth, bare feet, swimming, planting, watering, growing...
It's a season of fruit.  The trees have leaves on their bare branches and the lawns are green.  There is growth, visible signs of growth.

It's a busy season, where there is lots of activity - parties, reunions, get-togethers, planting gardens and flowers and then keeping them watered and weeds pulled.  We cut the grass and work till dark. We can and preserve the goodies that we gather from our gardens and bounty's yield. It's where we run out-of-doors, no thought of a coat or putting on shoes.  Yeah, we get to wear sandals or flip flops!

We go on vacations and swimming with friends.  We laugh and breathe deep the scents of summer.  Life is full and rich.

It's a season of DOING, of giving, of prosperity and fruitfulness...  It's where we feel useful.  We feel like we have something to give.  to offer those around us.

And so, it's easy to dry up inside.  To give and give, forgetting the reason we live and breathe.  Forgetting to stop and remember Him who loves us so and wants us to love Him and to glorify Him.  Fruit is an outward evidence of an inner source.  
If we don't stay connected to Jesus, our Source, our fruit will only last a season.

So, even in the middle of summer's activity, we must pause and smell the roses.  We must stop and simply breathe deep.  Breathe deep of His love for us individually.  Refill our pitchers, so that we don't dry up and can continue to pour out what we experience and receive...

And by summer's end, I'm usually ready for the shorter evenings and for summer's work to end...  And so... autumn is next.

Seasonal Beauty

morning beauty after a heavy dew

Summer Delight

intricate design

simple unfiltered beauty

I developed some pictures from the past months and these were a few of the treasures that were caught.  It seems quite different after the snow of yesterday and the bareness of the trees, but each season is for a reason and each has a beauty all of its own.

A few years ago, in the midst of struggle and questions and more... I was taking a walk on a November day and was struck by the beauty on the bare trees and felt the whisper of God to put my roots down in Him in the same way the roots of a tree do during a time of winter.
So, I chose to listen.  to seek out more of what He was whispering in my heart, and it became life-changing.  My world fell apart to be given back in a new and more vibrant way.

I learned lessons from the tree and some analogies and want to share them with you in the next several posts.  It has become my heart's cry and passion, for I believe out of our roots in Him, our fruit will flow and we will FLY!  even in the midst of longings and desires not met or fulfilled in the way we want them.

Will be in touch.
Love to you and may you most of all feel HIS LOVE deep in your soul!

Judith

PS.  I long for the beauty and fruit of the summer, but for now will rest in the stark beauty of winter.  We need winter to have spring & summer... :)