Winter.
Winter is hard. It's cold. The harsh winds blow. And it has a beauty all of its own.
We either want to hunker down, hide, run to warmer climates, or enjoy it.
But what really is winter?? What do the trees and perennial flowers do?? The trees are stripped bare. Open for all the world to see. They toss to and fro, bending greatly at times as the harsh, cold winds blow fiercely, at times.
If you look a little closer. A bit longer...
There is a hidden strength that is majestic...
One November day as I was taking my usual Sunday afternoon walk, I was wrestling, talking and crying out to God, and simply taking a few minutes to breathe deep the quietness of the moment. No demands on me for this moment, no 'mommy-ing' moments. Simply time to gather a few thoughts together.
As I was walking down the last hill, there are trees on either side, bare, brown, and stripped after the reds and yellows have fallen and faded away; and in the middle of that scene, a thought jars my thoughts....
"It's beautiful!"
I stopped. Backed up a bit. Looked at the trees that seem so lifeless. There was the sun shining on the trees and yes, it was a glorious sight. It was beautiful.
But HOW can that be? they're brown. there is no colour like there was a few months ago.
Beauty in Barreness. whispers in my soul.
I paused for a moment. beauty. in. barrenness.
I contemplate. I twirl that around as I walk up the last hill and into our lane. It's a thought that drew me. wouldn't let go. invited me to something...
In the midst of rejection, relationship struggles, personal aches, longings, and disappointments and not knowing what to do, I felt God calling me to Him. To put my roots down in Him as the tree does in the ground during the winter's season.
And so, I listened, I learned, I cried out to God with the aches and unmet longings. I wrote them down. (the first time journaling worked for me. I started writing my anger, my frustrations, my questions and it was amazing how that brought relief and also clarity. I write as if I'm talking to God) And I learned from the tree.
Do you feel exposed? open to view? without adornment, plain? It is a moment where God wants to shine on you, for you to 'see' and remember who you really are...
Has death entered your journey? Loss of any kind? Are the harsh winds of winter blowing over your soul? Winter is when we feel these cold winds and feel numb. It's where we are called to cling to the hand of the One who is holding us. Choosing to believe His glory is shining on our bare soul.
Here are a few tidbits gleaned from the tree...
- They have lost their outward adornment - leaves/fruit. It is their beauty, their glory. Yet, when they are stripped, they stand tall. When I am stripped of something important or am feeling bare, do I give in to the weight of loss or do I stand tall knowing that my Father has me?
- They put their roots down in the winter, refueling, gaining strength for the coming summer's fruit. What are your roots grounded in? Are they shallow or going deeper in the love and knowledge of God?
- When there is a storm and the harsh winds blow a tree will bend or break. Is your heart bending toward God when life is harsh and ugly? or is it breaking away from Him, the One who loves you.
- As the trees stand there, naked, vulnerable, exposed; it is really the core of who they are and their strength is determined by the depth of their roots. The leaves/fruit are only an extension of who they are. In the same way, what you do is only an extension of you. It's not what defines you. GOD'S LOVE DOES THAT. A peach tree is still a peach tree whether there is a peach hanging from it or not. The peach does not make it a peach tree.
- And the next time the sun shines, take a moment to look at the trees, noticing the glory that illuminates them. And the snow, how it covers and adds a beauty. He washes us WHITER than snow. God's glory can illumine our weakness and vulnerability. And that's what's it's all about anyway - HIS GLORY. And when the leaves are removed, the sun can be seen deeper into the forest. In the same way, the Son wants to be seen in our lives.
- When leaves are on a tree, the forest is dense. It's thick and you can't see through. You see the fruit and leaves. When the leaves are off, you can see more. When our 'leaves' are stripped, God has the opportunity to be seen more, deeper if we choose to bend towards Him. to find Him... A reminder that our true strength is in Jesus and not our ability to bear fruit. That happens because of our connection to Jesus.
- A tree bears fruit. It does not produce because it works to make it happen or it cannot be put on a branch. It happens as it gets the nutrients from the soil. The same for us, our fruit bearing happens because of a connection, the proper nutrients and that is Jesus. Jesus' love, not based on what you do or don't do, is the foundation and security our hearts need to thrive and produce fruit. His words of Greater Truth must be absorbed into the soil of our hearts. Fighting the reality of what happened and the lies we believe about that, with the words of what He says. Then FRUIT HAPPENS. Without the striving and the working...
The next time you see a bare, brown tree in the winter, let it remind you of it's true, hidden strength found in the ground where its roots are bearing down.
The brown tree is more than brown. it is vulnerable, renewing strength for the summer ahead. It is resting. And I remembered that feeling as I viewed the scene I described earlier - rest.
And I remember the call - to let go. To let go of what I think should happen or be. To let go of what defines me and remember that my true identity is in God , the One who never changes and what He says about me. It's not what 'clothes' me, that defines me. Because then my identity would constantly be changing. Changing and depending on me to do it well, so that it says something well of me.
As scary as vulnerability is, it is beautiful. There is a restful beauty in a vulnerable heart, that allows God's love to shine in and through it.
The flip side to vulnerability is hardness. Not bending when the winds blow. Again, like the tree, some stand tall, others fall. They usually fall because there is no longer life in them. When we become hardened and don't bend, the life of our heart is snuffed out. These trees may have stood for a season or two, but sooner or later, they break. We can hide for a while, but if our hearts are not grounded, it will eventually show itself.
We had a tree at the end of our lane for a few summers that was slowly dying. We would wonder if we should cut it down and then half of it would produce some leaves. Eventually, it was totally dead. We didn't get it cut down right away, and then I requested it stay there for a summer or two, because that's where I was at. Bare. Brown. in the middle of summer's fruit and activity. So the tree stood and God whispered to my heart... "It's okay. It's a season" And it was. There are times when winter is a season of our hearts, right in the middle of summer. Right in the middle of other people's summers. It's okay.
Eventually I was ready to let it be cut down. You won't stay where you're at for ever.
Not with a heart bent towards him and grounding in His love.
Let the Son illuminate your bare soul.
A favourite saying of mine... "In a way, winter is the real spring, the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature." -Edna O'Brien, Irish novelist
** I know that some winters are extremely hard and long. I do not in any way want to belittle or make you feel like you need to be strong when you are weak. I know. Sometimes all you can do is the moment. I just want to encourage you to choose to cling to the hand of our Father, for He has not left you. Read His Words. Talk to Him. He is BIG AND STRONG ENOUGH to handle your emotions. His name is a strong tower. Run to it and you are safe. Proverbs 18:10
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