The Posture of Two Hands

 

The Posture of Two Hands

Lord, You created two hands.

Hands to give.

Hands to receive.

So much of life is both and and.

Both joy and sorrow.

Bothe pain and purpose.

Both hard and holy.

Both thorns and pleasure.

These hands sometimes are gripping, holding on.

Other times they're clenched, tightly shut.

And then, there are those times, I let go and open the fists to receive, to embrace what I would never ask for and allow You to place another thing in my hands.

Your strength.

Your peace.

Your Presence.

Your grace.

Two hands.

In the one I hold the ache of loneliness and the other the soft glow or bold glory of the morning sunrise or the evening sunset.

In the one I hold the tears of disappointments and the other the confidence of Your faithfulness.

In the one I hold my anger at what doesn't make sense and the other one the release of trusting You and choosing to continue to believe in Your goodness.

Two hands.

Either open or tight-fisted.

Either closed or open.

Either rejecting or receiving.

If I close my hand to receiving the hard, I close my hand to the holy as well.

Closed to receiving Your love and grace, closed so You cannot put in my hand the strength I need to walk the journey, to take the next step.

Two hands.

I bring together in a posture of prayer and praise.

Prayer for grace to accept the parts of my story I'd rather not have and 

praise for Your presence and the little joys that are around me for me to notice.

Two hands.

Pain and purpose.

Joy and sorrow.

Thorns and pleasure.

Two hands.

Brought together in a moment for Your glory and for Your purpose, Lord.

And then,

joy, peace which cannot always be explained invades my soul and I take the next step with a little more of a dance, a little lighter and with a little more spring.

When we create space for what we don't want, there is space for the joy and the goodness of God to be seen and experienced.

But I confess, this, takes a whole lot of trusting God.  Of believing He is still good when circumstances simply don't make sense.  Of choosing to not bow down and give in to grief and despair and proclaim, "Even if..."  It's choosing, again, by faith, to stay with God and remember He loves us, not because of what He does, but because of Who He is!!!  It's learning to accept and embrace what I'd rather not, with a smile that tells of His goodness and provision.

And this.  Causes me to pray, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."