25 Year Celebration = God is Faithful

 

25 years together.  25 years of living the reality of both/and.  Both joy and hard.  Both laughter and tears.  Both understanding and misunderstanding.

Through it all - God.  God, who works all things together for good.  God, who weaves the hard and the joys together in a tapestry that blends together and creates a beauty that is deeper than what I could ever truly grasp.

In the weaving of all things, I realize that God will not withhold any good thing and so what I call bad is not really not bad, but a good that is a hard good.  I realize that I need to reframe the truth of bad and if a hard will destroy me, God will not allow it.  But if a "bad" circumstance (according to my terms) works faith in God, a courage to rise above, or patience, etc; then it is a good that God will allow. 

Choosing God in any and every circumstance and relationship will keep it and He will see us to the end.

In the mistakes, the hard, and the devastations that life bring; when we choose Jesus and invite Him into our fears, doubts, questions, and anxieties; He redeems.

I am grateful for the presence and truth of God that has kept, redeemed, and saved us in ways that bring life.  God is faithful and I rest and anchor myself and us in that greatest truth that keeps and saves us in each and every situation.

Where is God in the Middle of the PDA's of Life?

There are seasons where life is hard.  A curve ball has been thrown our way and we miss.  We stumble under the weight and long for someone bigger than us to carry us.  We bend under the weight of rejection, of a sudden death, a job loss,  an illness, or you put in your curve ball ...
  That someone is often God that we look to and often blame Him for not carrying us or coming through for us like we want it to look like.

 The summer of 2018, we as a family spent time with a group of people who run summer camps the month of July for First Nations people.  The staff consists of approx 40 young people and families from the States and Canada that give of their time and energy to make this happen.  We are a group that come from a varying of backgrounds, cultures, personalities, and stories that have formed and influenced who we.

   How do we pull together and become a team??

    We start out with 7 1/2 days of training, sessions, and group activities, learning what we should or should not do.  Learning relational tips and just information that is helpful to running a camp and working together.
   One concept we learn are three aspects of a team - team, individual, and task.  These are illustrated with circles.  Are the three circles of equal size, are they balanced?  Are we so focused on our task that we forget to care for the individual?  Are we so focused on what we're doing that we forget we're a part of the team?  How do we support a leader?  How is the leader fulfilling these areas?  Does he designate or do it all himself? and more....
   One way that we illustrate this is through TDA's (Team Development Activity).  TDA's are intense.  They are hard and require skill, focus, and integrity.  They usually take an hour and half to 3 hours to complete.  A group of 30-35 people choose a leader, learn to work together to accomplish the task, learn how to give ideas and yet support the leader, and the leader learns leading tips, etc.  There are specific rules that must be followed and if any are broken or breached there are consequences.
   There are two facilitators that choose, guide, and oversee the activity.

These activities are grueling.  They are intense and bring out the good and bad inside of you.  There are moments of wanting to quit.  Then someone comes standing beside you whispers or shouts....  let's keep going?  or don't slack off now!  or you can do this!
During one particular TDA, a thunderstorm popped up.  It rained and it rained.  You were uncomfortable, wet, chilled and transporting an object that couldn't touch the ground from one place to another.  The rain poured, it became muddy, and still the group walked on.

As an observer and one who wants to be inside during a thunderstorm, I wondered if it was safe or ok to keep going.  But I kept such thoughts to myself...  Amanda & I were told to meet the group at a designated spot... we waited and we waited... the storm poured and the lightening flashed and the group didn't come.

Finally we wondered if they were still coming or if the exited the lake before the designated spot?

We discovered, indeed, that they were on dry land and had begun the debriefing session.  Later in talking to the one facilitator, his comments were, "yes, we were watching the storm.  And when the lightening struck the other side of the lake, we made the decision to exit the lake for it was no longer safe."

His comment --- that they were watching the storm, struck me.  Because Amanda & I were having no communication with them about the storm, and to be honest, I wasn't truly trusting their decisions to keep going.

And then I thought of my hard times, times when I wonder if God is really trustworthy and paying attention to the 'safety' of my situation...  HE IS WATCHING THE STORM.

And I must trust and rest in that truth.  He IS watching and cares and when the lightening strikes too close, He cares and He directs.

And, I wonder, how many times Jesus wants to step in to respond to our heart's cry and God says, "He or She must choose.  This is a moment for her to choose to love me for Who I am and not what I do  This is a moment for a deeper awareness of Who I am."

Jesus as our Intercessor and Advocate restrains because of giving us the characteristic of choice.  The choice to trust.  The decision to believe by faith.  To follow, even if.

But all the while HE IS WATCHING.  He is present.  He is with us.

The Posture of Two Hands

 

The Posture of Two Hands

Lord, You created two hands.

Hands to give.

Hands to receive.

So much of life is both and and.

Both joy and sorrow.

Bothe pain and purpose.

Both hard and holy.

Both thorns and pleasure.

These hands sometimes are gripping, holding on.

Other times they're clenched, tightly shut.

And then, there are those times, I let go and open the fists to receive, to embrace what I would never ask for and allow You to place another thing in my hands.

Your strength.

Your peace.

Your Presence.

Your grace.

Two hands.

In the one I hold the ache of loneliness and the other the soft glow or bold glory of the morning sunrise or the evening sunset.

In the one I hold the tears of disappointments and the other the confidence of Your faithfulness.

In the one I hold my anger at what doesn't make sense and the other one the release of trusting You and choosing to continue to believe in Your goodness.

Two hands.

Either open or tight-fisted.

Either closed or open.

Either rejecting or receiving.

If I close my hand to receiving the hard, I close my hand to the holy as well.

Closed to receiving Your love and grace, closed so You cannot put in my hand the strength I need to walk the journey, to take the next step.

Two hands.

I bring together in a posture of prayer and praise.

Prayer for grace to accept the parts of my story I'd rather not have and 

praise for Your presence and the little joys that are around me for me to notice.

Two hands.

Pain and purpose.

Joy and sorrow.

Thorns and pleasure.

Two hands.

Brought together in a moment for Your glory and for Your purpose, Lord.

And then,

joy, peace which cannot always be explained invades my soul and I take the next step with a little more of a dance, a little lighter and with a little more spring.

When we create space for what we don't want, there is space for the joy and the goodness of God to be seen and experienced.

But I confess, this, takes a whole lot of trusting God.  Of believing He is still good when circumstances simply don't make sense.  Of choosing to not bow down and give in to grief and despair and proclaim, "Even if..."  It's choosing, again, by faith, to stay with God and remember He loves us, not because of what He does, but because of Who He is!!!  It's learning to accept and embrace what I'd rather not, with a smile that tells of His goodness and provision.

And this.  Causes me to pray, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

We Experience One to Know The Other

Jesus responded to Peter's indignation towards the woman wiping his feet with her hair after she had anointed them, with these words... He who is forgiven much, loves much.  He who is forgiven little, loves little.  Luke 7:47

This woman knew the deep pain of costly mistakes.  She understood her complete undoneness and because of that recognized her need of Saviour.  She came to Jesus, when Jesus was in a group of men, and was completely vulnerable... poured ointment on Jesus' feet and then took her hair and wiped them.

How could she do it??

She was extremely grateful.

She experienced deep pain.  She knew unbounding forgiveness.  And she was extremely grateful.  To where she risked her reputation and became vulnerable.

She was forgiven much, so she loved much.

Hebrews 7:11 ... Now if perfection had been attainable through the Levitical priesthood.., what further need would there have been for another priest to arise ...?

Hebrews 8:7 also says, For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for the second.

To experience one thing is to open our hearts up for something else.  To experience the  lack of something helps us to realize and long for that something better.

Counselors will tell you that you will not seek change out of a bad situation until the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of the unknown.

The Jews were a people whom God chose and He gave them the Law and the Law was to point to something greater.  It also showed them their undoneness and incapability to do what was right on their own.  He promised them a Saviour, a Redeemer.

When we experience a deep loss of any kind we open ourselves to knowing what's on the other side of the door.  And we often don't realize or appreciate what we had until we don't have it anymore.
There are two sides to a door.  Two sides of a coin.

There is an opportunity ... Pain/Hard = Redemption.

If there is no mess up, there is no need of redemption.
If there is no death, there will be no resurrection.

God has promised to redeem us.
He will restore the years the locusts have eaten.

To the extent that we experience the depth of hard and loss we understand the height of redemption and healing.

Jesus experienced death and because of that He could know and experience the resurrection.

The darker the night, the brighter the light.
The deeper the depths we go, the higher the heights we'll know.

The songs that touches the deepest chords of our hearts were written out of the broken cry of someone else's heart.

One morning as I was doing my usual morning walk, I breathed deep because I was experiencing the joy of a clearer brain and the simple joy of a friendship that was refreshing.  Those days of clarity and feeling good are limited for me right now and so when I experience one, the delight is extremely delightful.

To have known pain in many ways opens my eyes and heart to know the joy of health and healing.
To know the loss of one friendship is to awaken me to the delight of another.
To experience the sickness of mind and brain is to know the joy and delight of its slowly healing.
To know many days of pain is to rejoice and be exceeding grateful for the day of lesser or no pain.

As  one family experienced the near loss of a husband/father an anniversary date holds extra special meaning.

To experience one is to know the other.

To know joy we experience loss.
To know God's love deeply we experience rejection.
To know light we walk in darkness.
To know the freedom of God's new covenant, people lived the old.
To know forgiveness we made a mistake.

To experience one.  Is to know the other.

In the valleys of hard there is the fact of what we have lost or are experiencing but there is also the reality of new joys to discover.
The pain of the hard is a storm that shakes the soil our hearts and sometimes it's more like an earthquake, but one day we realize that it has loosened the soil and a 'flower' is growing in the crevice.  Our hearts are awakened and we appreciate and receive the gifts of today as richer, fuller, and more simplistic.

There are new and fresh gifts to see and experience.  And I am realizing that in the newness there is a simplicity that is refreshing.  Like the refining of gold, a fire that removed the dross and the metal now shines, till it reflects the face of the Master.

All hard must be grieved and in its own time will find healing.
But there comes a time when we must choose what we are focusing on.  We must decide which side of the door we will be, which side of the coin we will face... the hard stuff or the simple and pure joys and gifts in the middle of the hard.

To focus on one is not to deny the other, it simply is giving one the greater attention.  And the one we focus on will be the one that dictates our days and moments.  It will be one of despondency or walking in hope.

And when sadness overwhelms you because of the hard, take a moment to grieve and cry because as you do that you will find healing, again.
It is not a once and done deal when you live with a chronic illness or the loss of a loved one, etc, so the grieving will not be a once and done deal either.

But remember... to turn your face and your sights to the sun/Son.  Turn your gaze to look around you and see if you can find a pure and simple joy that may be there to surprise you.

He is our Promised Redeemer!

And if you don't find anything right then because the storm cloud is too dark, turn your heart's eyes of faith to Jesus, the One who is with you and wait, holding on to His hand in faith.