Something I often think about on a typical school morning as a number of us ladies are transporting our dear young ones to school... why do we wave? Why take the moment to lift your hand and shake it back and forth a little? :)
What does a hand shake or a wave or a smile say, anyway?
One thing I believe it says is, "I see you."
We all like to be noticed for something. We want to know we matter enough to be seen.
We all like when someone sees we are hurting and ventures to reach out to us. It tells us they care and we gain a sense of significance.
When someone affirms us, we gain a sense of 'I matter' to the world around me.
A simple smile is heartwarming.
But, one thing we all know well is moments of being alone, unnoticed by physical presence around us.
Someone walks on by and doesn't 'see' us, there is a let down, don't I matter, don't they care???
We want to be 'seen'. Longing to be seen beyond the surface. Valued beyond what we do or did or didn't do. We want to know we matter beyond the good or mess-ups we've done.
When life throws and hurls us into hard moments, sometimes we are missed. Sometimes we are alone for a moment to wrestle ...
Hagar learned that one day when she was in despair, kicked out and left to wander. She sat down by a spring of water in the wilderness, and GOD FINDS HER. He asked her a question. He cared. She ends up naming the well, Beerlahai-roi meaning, the well of the Living One who SEES ME. El-Roi, the name for God that means, the God who Sees.
When I reflect on Jesus' life, He sought out and noticed many people. Beggars, blind men, children, women, lepers, Zacchaeus in the tree and more.
He sees, but there are times He waits. Like when Lazarus was sick and died. Or when God turned His face away as Jesus died. There are times when He is silent. But He never leaves.
Hard times. death. and the ones left behind are left to wonder and question for a bit. But God came. He did show up. Just not right away.
Why??
Those moments hurt when someone walks by and does little or no acknowledging. we wonder. we feel insignificant.
When God is quiet or silent, we struggle. We feel alone and maybe even abandoned.
We feel 'unseen'.
Those moments are part of a bigger picture. A plan for God to be seen and glorified. Like in Lazarus' death, many believed.
God wants to be seen and sometimes the only way for that to happen, is through hard times. They grip our attention and remind us of our need for our Heavenly Father. We are so prone to forget...
I have told my Heavenly Father that I think I could go through anything as long as I feel He is near. As long as I feel His Presence surrounding me. There's been a situation where over the past few years God has seemed silent. I didn't feel forsaken, it was simply quiet. No inspiration, no direction, just silent and quiet. It makes the struggle, hard.
I've grappled with 'why'? I've heard a number of times that God doesn't move, so if you don't feel Him then guess what?... you moved. Well, I didn't feel like I did.
One morning as I again came before my Heavenly Father I asked Him my 'why' again. I felt His whispering thought and He gave me a picture ---
(As a parent don't you sometimes stand by and watch your child struggle through something? whether it would be learning to walk, or putting legos together? whether it would be trying to figure out how something works? You're there. just not stepping in. If you would always step in, would your child learn or feel like he has mastered something?
So it is with Me. Learning comes through wrestling and struggling through something. I am right here. I SEE YOU. It's just that learning more of Me comes through wrestlings, trying to figure something out. and guess what NEITHER OF US MOVED. I was only standing nearby, watching you learn more of Me and you are right here trying to figure out something again.)
Wow. Yes, Lord. that makes sense. You ARE right HERE. Watching, and maybe even delighting in the fact that we are wrestling, clinging and wanting to find You again, in this time and this moment.
It brings a smile to my face when my child wrestles and conquers or masters something... I wonder if it does to Yours??
El-Roi, the God who Sees. He notices, even when silent.
His promise is true... "I will never leave you or forsake you."
He just may be silently standing there BESIDE YOU, waiting for the moment when you and I rise victorious over the hard moments. Waiting as we wrestle to experience our 'aha' moment. I can just imagine how that may just warm the heart of God to know we did not give up, but wrestled to find His Truth. today. in this moment. And when we didn't get it, yet, we cling to His hand, trusting His heart.
In those moments when life seems silent and you find yourself feeling alone, it is your call from God to bring your hurt, your sorrow, your grief to Him. Sometimes He wants to be ALL FOR US.
That does not mean we shirk our responsibility to care for each other, it only means that we are prone to forget God and that He is All-Sufficient and we need reminders. And I believe He reminds us through those times we feel forsaken and are sitting in the wilderness and even, maybe, by a well where there is nourishment, but it's not enough. God comes at some point and speaks Truth and Life to our souls.
The people who cross your path today need to be seen.
And remember, most of all, He sees us. El-Roi.
But He also wants to be seen... In the moments when we're cared for by another and in the moments we find ourselves 'alone'.
El-Roi.
