In The Darkness, Light Pierces

 

Dark. Night. 

Not many of us are comfortable in the dark. In fact, from little up we fight the dark, being scared, having night lights, etc.  

Children are naturally scared of the dark. That seems to be a phase all children go through or at least mine did.

I remember one of my sons 'seeing' the shadows as terrifying animals out to get him, that he wouldn't even get up at night to go the bathroom, in the safety of his home. Night after night. 

Most adults aren't comfortable with dark. I am more than I used to be, but I still have times when I wonder what's lurking in the shadows waiting to take me down. Waiting to pounce on me as I walk past. Images appear and in the dark they become distorted. We're not in control because we can't see very far into the distance. 

In the same way, in our minds, the darkness of pain, loneliness, fears can overtake us. We walk through our days wondering when they'll pounce on us, and even feeling like they've overtaken us. We can't 'see' far into the future, not even around the next bend.  Images appear, those thoughts taking shape in our minds. 

Darkness.

The night Jesus came, 400 years of silence preceded. Silence. 

Ongoing quiet. No word from God through prophets to the people. 

Quiet. Silence. Hard Roman rule. 

Longings. Wanting someone bigger to overtake the Roman rule. Deliverance. 

The night Jesus was born, light pierced the physical darkness. 

Shepherds were tending their flocks on a hillside at night, when an angel appeared, piercing the dark night with the glory of the Lord, and the shepherds were afraid. 

The angel told them to not fear because I have good news, a Saviour is born!

The angel gave them more details on where to find this Saviour and then suddenly! There was a multitude of angels, praising God with these words, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, God will toward men."

Peace. Goodwill. Light. Really?? After the years of silence and crushing Roman rule??

The shepherds looked at one another and said, "Let us go... and see...."

They went with haste. 

Light always brings hope. Light brings anticipation. Light reveals. Light reveals what is really true. 

But Light doesn't always look like we think it should. 

In a stable.

To shepherds on a hillside in the dark of night. 

After 400 years of silence. 

The promise of a Saviour. 

Miracles.

Where were you,  Jesus?

Healings.

But Jesus ...

Death on a cross, seeming death to all they thought would happen and what saving them looked like in their minds. 

The living and walking out of that hope and promise was often disappointing and led to disillusionment. 

Many turned away, walked away. And in the end, not even His disciples stayed with Him.

Why? I think if we look deep into our hearts, we can answer that. 

How many times has there been silence in our stories? The darkness overwhelmed us and we felt all alone on our hillside, waiting another night for Light to penetrate. 

And we turn away.

Darkness leaves us vulnerable. We can't see far ahead. We panic because we can't control very much around us. Darkness asks us to trust, to take steps in faith. 

It's easier to walk away, to turn our backs on Jesus, and turn to what we can see or our own methods of what we think is best. 

I am so glad we have the stories after the resurrection. The disciples and many didn't stay away from God. Jesus appeared to all of the disciples as they huddled in a room.

Sometimes we're huddling, trying to grasp or understand what is or has happened, and waiting for Jesus to appear and speak to us. It's the staying, the waiting, that is brutal at times. It's the believing and hanging on to faith when darkness screams many false beliefs and our mind wrestles to believe the words of Jesus when all is quiet, that is crushing at times. But it's in the room of waiting and staying, on the hillside, that light comes. The angel of the Lord, announcing good news to us, Jesus has come. He is here!

Yes, He is here. 

Darkness is when light is most visible. Jesus pierced the darkness 2000+ years and that is still His mission, to pierce the dark parts of our stories. He wants to set us free from what imprisons us, our fears, our pain, the rejections, etc. 

He wants us to turn to His light of truth and trust Him in the darkness. 

Trust. Faith. 

Without faith it's impossible to please God and I begin to see why. There is so many times that God's ways make so little sense to my human mind frame, that to stay with Him requires me to believe in spite of what I see.  To believe Him in spite of what my heart and feelings scream to be true. 

To believe Him as my Way, the Truth, and Life to me. And to TRUST.

Let's run with haste to see Him. 

With Us

 

In all the paths that wind and twist around in life and in the times the path is more straight and smooth, I want to know I'm not alone. 

Alone.

Alone is a word that can strike fear.  It can strike terror, panic, anxiety in our hearts if that's what we focus on.

Fear is very present in various forms for we humans as we journey and walk through life.  We fear the unknown.  We fear being left alone in a relationship.  We fear losing a child, a loved one. We fear we won't be enough or we'll be too much. We fear rejection.

It has been said that Fear Not appears 365 times in the Bible.  And with a number of those Fear Nots, Jesus, God our Father, promises to be WITH US.

Ahh. With Us.  Not alone.

Sorrows shared are divided, and joys that are shared are multiplied.

This Christmas season, I'm reminded again of IMMANUEL.  Immanuel is one of my favourite names for Jesus.  It's the name that brings comfort and one to anchor all my fears in.  Grounding the anxiety, panic, and unknowns in the capability of our Saviour who left the glories of heaven to be WITH US.

To show us a way back to Him.  To invite us to a way that is often so not like we think it should be. But one that is so life-giving and freeing. One of redemption. He gives a peace which passes understanding.  He forgave those who hurt Him and asks us to offer the same grace to each other.  He calls us to trust Him and that He has our good in mind.  He came to give His life so I may have everlasting life.

Isaiah 41:10 is one of the verses that speak the words, Do not fear anything, for I AM WITH YOU; do not be afraid for I AM your God.

It continues to say, Do not fear, I will help you.  And He even takes our hand or holds us in His hands.

Isaiah 43:2 tells us when we pass through the waters He will be WITH US.

Isaish 43:5 again says, Do not fear for I am with you.

Alone and yet not. Alone, can be the silence in which Jesus whispers life to our hearts. Alone is when we can hear His heartbeat if we're willing to bring our fears to Him and release them. Alone.

Jesus often went to the mountain alone. Alone to talk with His Father. Alone to hear His Father's words. I really would love to have a window into their conversation. What did Jesus say? Did He have any fears? Heartaches? Disappointments? Did He need to refocus on His mission and purpose?

Even the night He was taken, He went a stone's throw away from His disciples and was alone in agony with His Father. There we know He wrestled with what was laid in front of Him, wrestling to submit to His Father's plan. 

This season, let us let the with-ness of Jesus penetrate our heart and draw us to come. Come into His Presence with our fears, pain, our joys and thrills to worship and adore Him, the One who left all, to give all, so we could have all.

He left glorious perfection to be WITH US so we could be WITH HIM. And my heart rejoices. 

The Steps of One Moment

 

This is a day that begins the beginning of a new month.                                                                              

How do we get here, in this moment, the second to last month of a year?

Life gets full. Days are filled. Moments get overwhelming. 

I invite you to take a deeep, looonngg,, breath with me.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Inhale.... Exhale...

Exchanging our anxiety, worry, pain, fears, disappointments for His grace, love and receive His joy.

A day. A moment is what you have right now. 

The way up the stairs is one step at a time.  The way to climb a mountain, is one step at a time.  The way to the end consists of stepping one step at a time.

Each moment you choose to do the right thing, is one less wrong. Each time you resist whatever you know in your heart that is not healthy, is one more right moment. 

Each moment adds up and leads to many more good and right moments. 

The moments where you gave into a weakness or didn't make the right choice, is only one moment. It does not need to define the next moment. 

A day is made of moments.  That leads to a week. Then a month. And then a year. 

One day. At a time. Focus on Jesus, each and every moment.

Taking the next step with Jesus is to give wings to living with victory, healing, joy and abandonment. 

Each moment you choose to think differently, each moment you choose to search among the weeds and under rocks to see the gifts God gives, is to taste and see that HE IS GOOD. 

Remember, one day and one moment at time is what you have to take and to live.

The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

As I sat one day in a Sunday School class and listened to the struggles of 'Why am I struggling with wanting more, when I have so much already?'  'Why does another's possessions make me want more when all I really want is Jesus?'

I think we all have also struggled with the questions of...
Why does God let this bad or hard thing happen to me?
Why doesn't God answer my prayer?

 
We blame God... looking for a place to land our aching hearts with the hard.

Let me ask another question, "What did God create in the beginning?"

He created all things GOOD.
He created beauty and life.  He created no bad or evil.

Satan, many 'years' prior, wanted to be like God and created a rebellion; which God had to remove.  So, God removed Satan from heaven.  Satan is the beginning of all things ugly.

When God created the world and placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, He made all sorts of trees to grow - trees that were beautiful and produced delicious fruit. Genesis 2:9  He placed two trees in the middle of the Garden - the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

He told Man, "You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden, Except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  If you eat its fruit , you are sure to die."  Genesis 2:16-17 

We have GOOD and EVIL.
Two choices.  Two consequences.

God, the author of good.  Satan the beginning of evil.
A tree - the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

At this point Adam only knew good.  He did not know evil.
At this point it seems that Adam is alone.  The Bible isn't clear on the sequence.

In verses 21-22, God made woman, out of man.

If Adam was alone, then I have another set of questions, "Did Adam forget to tell Eve about the tree?  Did he tell her and then not have the courage to take a stand against the deception of Satan?"  The Bible doesn't give us those details.

We only know that one day, one moment, they were both presented with a choice...
Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more subtle (shrewd) than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made.  And he said unto the woman, Yea, had God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
vv. 4-5, And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die;
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

A choice.

GOD DID NOT CREATE EVIL.  IT'S A RESULT OF A CHOICE.

With the choice of Adam and Eve, they now know GOOD and EVIL.  They know good and bad.  They know love and hate.  They know freedom and shame.

God did not leave them in that state.  God never leaves bad alone.  He REDEEMS.
He set in motion a promise of a Redeemer and gave specific instructions that point to the Redeemer.

They took fig leaves to cover themselves.  But God made clothing from animal skins. Fig leaves were not sufficient. Life was forever changed.  Blood was shed for forgiveness and redemption.

Just like Adam and Eve experienced redemption in the midst of bad, so today God will always redeem the bad and painful experiences; if we seek Him.

I believe all bad falls through the hand of God and that can be hard to wrestle with.  So, why doesn't God simply close His hand and not let it happen??
We blame God for allowing it to happen, when it's simply a part of the brokenness that happened as a result of taking from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  We now know GOOD and EVIL.

I believe it's back to the choice and consequences that happened.  Free will or choice comes with a price, a cost, a consequence of good or hard.

God cannot go back on His Word of saying that death will happen if the fruit was eaten, but He can redeem!  And redeem He wants to do and will do if we turn our hearts toward Him in repentance.

Right from that first moment of a wrong choice, God spoke words of redeeming along with the consequences.  

There is a mystery to the hard to those who love God.  Romans 8:28 says, God uses all things for good.  He doesn't say all things are good, but all of the happenings, God weaves it all in a tapestry that is good.  And in the moments when we're drowning in the hard, we can simply choose to stay with God.  Choosing to remember God.  Choosing to trust His heart of redemption and walk with Him in the mystery of hard and its redemption. 

Really, redemption is a very underserving gift.  To think that God cares so much for who He created, to not let them sit in the results of their wrong choices and to offer redemption.

I pause and bow, struck by the awesome gravity of this.  

Have you accepted and received God's redemption for you?

Broken, Redeemed and New

I was not happy when a cat who persistently declared my table for a perch, knocked over one of my pots. The result was, broken pieces. Then a new pot was found for the plant.

Broken.

Broken pieces.

How many times we realize that so much of what happens we didn't ask for or would ever wish for. Life has moments of being shattered.

In the age of middle school, I find myself the brunt and exclusion of relationships.  It takes its toll on my heart and I begin to believe many things about me and make my own interpretations of what is going on.

Yes, many of them were false, lies that bound my heart and mind and bent me to live in protection mode and scared to be.

That transitioned to high school and even into youth years.

Broken. In a negative and damaging way.

In a moment our lives can be altered.  It can be a phone call.  A second that forever changes what is to what was.  Discovering a secret that devastates.  The diagnosis that we never wanted to hear. Or it can even be the slow erosion of steady dripping of negativity, rejection.

Life altering.  Life changing.

Life was shattered and broken many years ago, with the first bite of the fruit that was forbidden.  Peace and beauty were marred.  Life was forever altered.

Pain, tears, shame, and a myriad of other hard entered our stories, leaving their mark.

Broken pieces are difficult.  They're difficult to accept and we grasp and wrestle for our original state.  We want life to be as was... perfect.

Broken pieces often happen as a result of someone else, something out of our control or making.  But sometimes it is our choosing, our own making.

The reality is, that this side of heaven it will never be perfect.  Perfect was forever broken this side of heaven. But God promises to redeem.  To redeem all things for good.  Yes, even the most horrific, given into the hands of our Heavenly Father, can redeem our hearts.

Redeemed.

Roadways in wildernesses.  Rivers in deserts.

Broken to be Redeemed.  

How I love that word.  All brokenness does not need to be an end in itself.  It's not meant to be.  God, from the moment that fruit eating incident happened, had a plan of redemption.

He promised Jesus.  A Saviour.  A Redeemer.

Immanuel means God with us.

God sent a piece of Himself.  Before Jesus came to earth, in Isaiah, God promises to be with us as we walk through waters or fire.

God promises to walk with us. GOD IS WITH US.

God does not keep hard or pain from us, but He promises to be with us. It's rarely around or out of a situation, but it's a way through.

The first broken hurt and I built walls and ways of coping.  But there is second breaking that needs to happen and that is, the chains of lies and walls that we build and construct in our young minds and hearts.  God wants us.  He wants our hearts and that is the greatest redemption of any hard.  Our hearts so easily attach to something other than Him, just like Eve and Adam did that one fateful day so many years ago.

We make vows and attach our hearts to things we think we can control and manage.  We need to let go and find God.  Trusting Him, is one of the biggest hurdles to accepting the hard and what we wish would be different.

Jesus is the Way.  And when we stay with Him, searching to see Him in amongst the tears and pain, we find a way through, because He is the Way.

New.

Something new.  

A new pot for my plant.

Surrender. Accepting.  These are words we don't like to hear.  May I lean in and whisper, "don't push them away..."  Accepting what is, now and finding Jesus in the ashes and rubble, is a very hard step, but oh, so important to finding life again. 

For when we find Jesus we find our way through.  Jesus really does want to make roadways in wildernesses and rivers in deserts.  There are many times where what once was cannot be put back together.  We need a new pot.

I once was told that accepting is half the battle and I have found that to be true.  As I wrestle through the pain and disappointment, the battle is to accept the reality of broken pieces.

We can stand and stare at them.  We can stomp our foot and raise our fists and shout, "This isn't fair!  I don't want this to be part of my story!"  But that won't change the reality of what lies broken at our feet.

We have two options before us.

We can sit and pout, and regale our woes to anyone who passes by or stops to ask. They may even join us and we have a swapping of stories.  We may even hurl our insults to passerbys. We can hide behind the walls or keep slinging our chains of lies we constructed because in some ways that feels safer and better than being vulnerable and letting go.  After all, I made them so they must be good?!?!

Or we can lift our hands to Jesus and give Him the shattered and broken pieces. Turning our heart's eyes to Him, allowing space for our tears and grief, and inviting Him to care for us and to redeem.  To repent of how and what we built to protect and manage us and turn to Him, trusting Him.

Most times we need to accept what is instead of always pining for what was or what we think should be, to move forward and toward our Father.

And in whatever broken you find yourself, the wrestling to deal with the pieces is never the same or a once-and-done deal.  It isn't linear or in a straight line or in a box.  It's jagged and misshapen.  And each story is unique so each path forward is unique.

God is with each of us.  Don't compare your story or journey to someone close to you.  In God's time He makes all things new.  Remade.  Reformed.  Life breathed into.

But it can't be done all the while I am resisting and hanging on to what was.  It's only as I surrender what's broken and accept the He will redeem, that I find new vision and a way to take the next step.

New pots can be found and enjoyed. (But sometimes I still want my original pot!! 😉🥴😄)

Letting go allows space for new life.  New joys, new gifts.  

And in all reality, there will still be the space of grief that will rise to the top.  But it's turning that to face our Redeemer and finding His grace and love. Finding the joys of today. 

It's the posture of two hands, one holding the sorrow, the other holding the gifts, putting them to together in prayer or lifting them up to the Father, who holds all of us in His hands.

I still get annoyed thinking about that cat, but I smile and enjoy my new planted pot.  And that's so much more fun than pining away for what was.  It's healthier too.  

(The second picture at the top is the repotted plant and I keep the broken pieces as a reminder.)

The God-Filled Space in Relationships

God. People. Relationships. 

God created man and formed Eve out of man. Breathing into man His own breath and man became a living soul, living with the very breath of God. This creation was different than what God created previously. 

Deeply connected to God. Created, not spoken into existence. Breath from the very being of God.

Two people carry the breath and life of God in their very being. Two people who are to carry on the image of God, passing it on in their own connection and relationship.

It didn't take long to mar and forever change the way relationships were.

In connectedness, community, and relationships; pain happens. 

In connectedness, community, and relationships; healing and health happens. 

But not a saving. That's for Jesus. He's our Saviour, our Redeemer. 

Before I am aware at times, I so often am expecting people to save me, to come through for me.

Relationships are quite the tug of war, quite the i-want-them and then-i-don't. I want to live alone and then it's not enough. 

We are created for relating to each other. We were established to help each other, reminding each other of Jesus.  Reminding us to remember who Jesus is and who we are in Him.  Reminding each other what Eve questioned and we often question too, that God DOES have our good in mind, in the very core of His being.  

I find when I place the proper expectations of what God established for relationships, I want to live in them. 

As a result of the sin; brokenness, pain, and shame entered our relationships.  We now know good and evil.  Pain and joy.

God said He would provide a Saviour, a Redeemer. He would provide a way back, a redeeming of all broken. 

And it does us well to remember that. Because in the space of all the broken in our relationships, is the space that only God can fill and redeem. It's in connectedness to Jesus that heals the deepest, a staying with Him.  Depending on Jesus and finding Him, is not hinged on any physical or tangible person.  And that allows for healing in the deepest parts and corners of our hearts and souls.

,

There are many variables that can hinder that healing and finding Jesus. 

We are to walk together, helping each other, but in the painful and aching spaces, that's the space for our Saviour and Redeemer.

As Joni Eareckson Tada states, "To press in to Jesus and to know Him is the purpose of suffering."  Not what it does to me, how it grows my prayer life or makes me a better person, no, it's to know more of Jesus.   Songs of Suffering film is a short documentary by Joni that is so inspiring to find Jesus in the hard.

It's so easy to blame the people we can see and physically interact with, to put the responsibility on them to do and say the right thing.  

And that's the tug of war, the push/pull of relationships. 

Because as people interacting with each other we do have a responsibility to interact in the ways of Jesus, kindness, honoring, patient, loving, etc.

And when that doesn't happen, pain and hurt hurl us to blame if we're not careful.  And please hear me, I'm not advocating that we just take it without dialogue or conversation of some sort.

But what I am saying and where I have wrestled intensely with disappointment and feeling missed or overlooked or even like I don't matter, is there in the midst of all that, is the space to press in to Jesus.  The space that only He can really fill and wants to fill.  

The space where He wants to heal us, even if...  To heal us in spite of anything around us or anyone.  That to me is liberating!  Because my healing and freedom doesn't hinge on anything or anyone!

I can sit on a trash heap and sing with joy because it's inside me.  I can see beauty because beauty is to be seen somewhere and in something and it isn't hinged on my surroundings. (good surroundings sure help, though 😉)

One thing I've learned in my suffering journey is, God wants to be known, just like I want to be known.  God wants to be loved, just like I want to be loved.

And that, has so influenced and changed me in the midst of disappointments, pain, and relating with people.

And from that God-filled space perspective, we own and make our decisions as we interact with each other.  Taking the painful pieces to Jesus to sort through so we don't live in a reactionary place, swinging our pain that only adds to what's going on.

Healing and healed people, encourage others.

Hurt people, hurt people.

I know.  It may sound harsh and unfair.  And in a lot of ways it is. But really, finding healing in the presence of Jesus is a gift because it can happen whether or not the other person cooperates with reconciliation or not.

So, my dear friends and fellow sojourners, let's find Jesus in those spaces of loneliness, pain, denial, and hurt.  To find Jesus enough and His healing is so liberating and that's exactly why Jesus came.  He came to heal the brokenhearted, preach deliverance or release to the captives, recovery of sight to the blind, and set free those who are oppressed. (Luke 4:18)

Some of the most free and healed people are oe were in some of the most hard places.  I think of Corrie Ten Boom, Elizabeth Elliot, Fanny Crosby, Hellen Keller, and many today like Joni Eareckson Tada, Jennifer Rothschild, and even you.  Because in all reality we all have hard we live in and walk through.  Some live in it more intensely.  Each of us carry something deep in our hearts that we would rather not have to carry.  Each of us have a place, that in the end only Jesus can heal and fill.

Bitterness blinds.  Pain oppresses and keeps one captive. Hard breaks my heart.  And in those moments I'm given a choice as I navigate whether I find Jesus more deeply or allow my blindness, oppression to keep me captive.   

Jesus' mission to helping us find freedom does not say anything that includes the one who caused the disappointment, pain, or rejection.  It's only Jesus.  He will heal as we let Him. (Reconciliation is another facet that doesn't swing the door on our healing.)

I want Jesus in those spaces that hurt.

Where is God in the Middle of the PDA's of Life?

There are seasons where life is hard.  A curve ball has been thrown our way and we miss.  We stumble under the weight and long for someone bigger than us to carry us.  We bend under the weight of rejection, of a sudden death, a job loss,  an illness, or you put in your curve ball ...
  That someone is often God that we look to and often blame Him for not carrying us or coming through for us like we want it to look like.

 The summer of 2018, we as a family spent time with a group of people who run summer camps the month of July for First Nations people.  The staff consists of approx 40 young people and families from the States and Canada that give of their time and energy to make this happen.  We are a group that come from a varying of backgrounds, cultures, personalities, and stories that have formed and influenced who we.

   How do we pull together and become a team??

    We start out with 7 1/2 days of training, sessions, and group activities, learning what we should or should not do.  Learning relational tips and just information that is helpful to running a camp and working together.
   One concept we learn are three aspects of a team - team, individual, and task.  These are illustrated with circles.  Are the three circles of equal size, are they balanced?  Are we so focused on our task that we forget to care for the individual?  Are we so focused on what we're doing that we forget we're a part of the team?  How do we support a leader?  How is the leader fulfilling these areas?  Does he designate or do it all himself? and more....
   One way that we illustrate this is through TDA's (Team Development Activity).  TDA's are intense.  They are hard and require skill, focus, and integrity.  They usually take an hour and half to 3 hours to complete.  A group of 30-35 people choose a leader, learn to work together to accomplish the task, learn how to give ideas and yet support the leader, and the leader learns leading tips, etc.  There are specific rules that must be followed and if any are broken or breached there are consequences.
   There are two facilitators that choose, guide, and oversee the activity.

These activities are grueling.  They are intense and bring out the good and bad inside of you.  There are moments of wanting to quit.  Then someone comes standing beside you whispers or shouts....  let's keep going?  or don't slack off now!  or you can do this!
During one particular TDA, a thunderstorm popped up.  It rained and it rained.  You were uncomfortable, wet, chilled and transporting an object that couldn't touch the ground from one place to another.  The rain poured, it became muddy, and still the group walked on.

As an observer and one who wants to be inside during a thunderstorm, I wondered if it was safe or ok to keep going.  But I kept such thoughts to myself...  Amanda & I were told to meet the group at a designated spot... we waited and we waited... the storm poured and the lightening flashed and the group didn't come.

Finally we wondered if they were still coming or if the exited the lake before the designated spot?

We discovered, indeed, that they were on dry land and had begun the debriefing session.  Later in talking to the one facilitator, his comments were, "yes, we were watching the storm.  And when the lightening struck the other side of the lake, we made the decision to exit the lake for it was no longer safe."

His comment --- that they were watching the storm, struck me.  Because Amanda & I were having no communication with them about the storm, and to be honest, I wasn't truly trusting their decisions to keep going.

And then I thought of my hard times, times when I wonder if God is really trustworthy and paying attention to the 'safety' of my situation...  HE IS WATCHING THE STORM.

And I must trust and rest in that truth.  He IS watching and cares and when the lightening strikes too close, He cares and He directs.

And, I wonder, how many times Jesus wants to step in to respond to our heart's cry and God says, "He or She must choose.  This is a moment for her to choose to love me for Who I am and not what I do  This is a moment for a deeper awareness of Who I am."

Jesus as our Intercessor and Advocate restrains because of giving us the characteristic of choice.  The choice to trust.  The decision to believe by faith.  To follow, even if.

But all the while HE IS WATCHING.  He is present.  He is with us.

The Posture of Two Hands

 

The Posture of Two Hands

Lord, You created two hands.

Hands to give.

Hands to receive.

So much of life is both and and.

Both joy and sorrow.

Bothe pain and purpose.

Both hard and holy.

Both thorns and pleasure.

These hands sometimes are gripping, holding on.

Other times they're clenched, tightly shut.

And then, there are those times, I let go and open the fists to receive, to embrace what I would never ask for and allow You to place another thing in my hands.

Your strength.

Your peace.

Your Presence.

Your grace.

Two hands.

In the one I hold the ache of loneliness and the other the soft glow or bold glory of the morning sunrise or the evening sunset.

In the one I hold the tears of disappointments and the other the confidence of Your faithfulness.

In the one I hold my anger at what doesn't make sense and the other one the release of trusting You and choosing to continue to believe in Your goodness.

Two hands.

Either open or tight-fisted.

Either closed or open.

Either rejecting or receiving.

If I close my hand to receiving the hard, I close my hand to the holy as well.

Closed to receiving Your love and grace, closed so You cannot put in my hand the strength I need to walk the journey, to take the next step.

Two hands.

I bring together in a posture of prayer and praise.

Prayer for grace to accept the parts of my story I'd rather not have and 

praise for Your presence and the little joys that are around me for me to notice.

Two hands.

Pain and purpose.

Joy and sorrow.

Thorns and pleasure.

Two hands.

Brought together in a moment for Your glory and for Your purpose, Lord.

And then,

joy, peace which cannot always be explained invades my soul and I take the next step with a little more of a dance, a little lighter and with a little more spring.

When we create space for what we don't want, there is space for the joy and the goodness of God to be seen and experienced.

But I confess, this, takes a whole lot of trusting God.  Of believing He is still good when circumstances simply don't make sense.  Of choosing to not bow down and give in to grief and despair and proclaim, "Even if..."  It's choosing, again, by faith, to stay with God and remember He loves us, not because of what He does, but because of Who He is!!!  It's learning to accept and embrace what I'd rather not, with a smile that tells of His goodness and provision.

And this.  Causes me to pray, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

The Ache of our Souls and a Place to Go

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU WILL FIND REST for your souls.  Matthew 11:28-29

This is one of my favourite verses and yet if you look closely there's a piece that I want to skip... "take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me..."

Why do I want to skip that part??  

I am asked to let go.  To embrace a path I may not want.

But the exchange is, rest. 

Rest from striving. Rest from orchestrating life's activities.  Rest from the control that I so easily settle into.

A heart at rest, a settledness, right in the middle of walking, right in the middle of the storm sometimes.

Jesus.
Says come.
To Me.

To Him.
For REST.

A yoke is a joining together of two.
Two oxen.
Two people.

Jesus is inviting us to join Him and learn from Him.

Jesus does not promise life to be easy. 
The fact is life is not easy whether you follow God or not.  Whether you believe in Him or you don't.  Life became broken in the garden and life remains broken and disjointed.

But in that moment, God came and voiced a promise to Adam and Eve.  A promise of redemption.  A promise of a Saviour.

So, why follow God? Why believe His promises??

Because He promises to join us as we navigate life.  He wants to yoke with us and help to bear our burden.  Life is harder without Him.

Come.

Jesus came.  He is God incarnate.  Holy and Perfect made human.

Human so he showed us He identifies with us.

He came to partner with us in every way.  And now He says, "Come."

Bring every ache, every tear, every lonely moment, every hard, every angry moment, everything and learn of Him.  Learn more of His tenderness for those tears.  Learn more of His love even when it doesn't feel like it's there.  

Let go of walking alone and yoke with Him.

Trusting His steering, His guiding on the journey.