The Space of In Between, Of Waiting For the Next Season

 

There's this space of waiting, anticipating the next season.  It's the in between.  In between brown branches bare and branches filled with green.  In between a resting, a waiting and bursting with the colours of life and fruit.  It's a mixture of sun, blue skies and bare branches awaiting life to burst from their arms.

Sometimes, I find myself in this space.  In between my dreams and the living them out.  In between my passion and seeing how they are used.

It's so easy to push through, to plow ahead; and there is a time to 'do' something, to make it happen.  But I am realizing anew that sometimes I need to wait.  The waiting isn't a season of doing nothing, but a time of being, of letting the life form and take shape.

This in between season of waiting for warm, of waiting for buds and full bloom; is a time no one can rush or push; it must happen.  And most times, it happens slowly.  

One morning I notice the greening of the woodlands, the trees take on a hue of colour.   How did this happen?  When did it take place?

I couldn't see it, but life was stirring within the trees, in the ground; and slowly life became visible.

In my own life, there is this same waiting, this same space of things that cannot be rushed, pushed, or maneuvered; they happen.

A dream and passion that you and I carry.  

Walking through seasons of hard that cannot be hurried or fixed right now.  The choosing of what a loved one may choose cannot be forced, it must be left to be wrestled through and bloom in its time.

A habit that I want broken now, a change of thoughts, lies, and wrong beliefs.  Sometimes I make the right choice and other times, well, it may feel more like a step backwards.

The warm sun, the days that tantalize us with promise of summer and the cold winds of spring can cause an angst, an impatience in this in between season, this waiting for life to unfold.

Waiting is hard.  But waiting is a needed season.

I'm a bit of 'fixer' or should I say, I have a heart and passion to walk with others and offer encouragement.  When something is broken or hurts, I like to find ways to mend.  But in all reality, it's not always possible and it really is not my workings because I am not the Saviour; it is the workings of the Holy Spirit.  I can speak words of life, but the workings of that is still a process and I can't hurry it along or make it bloom and bring forth fruit in my life or yours.  It's a waiting, a continuing to be and to allow space for the inner working of life, of the Spirit.  Just like it was and continues to be done in my own heart and mind.

Growth happens slowly, but it happens.

The growth in our lives, often happens more slowly than in leaps and bounds. We wait after we plant seeds.  We wait for nine months after an egg is fertilized and a baby begins.  Growth happens slowly but surely.

If you find yourself in this space, turn your gaze towards Jesus, soak in the 'Son' and let the growth take root, grow and bloom in the right time.

A season of waiting is a time of growing roots, of letting the little moments form you, the sun and the rain are all a part of the process of growth.

Maybe you have a dream and it feels like you get more roadblocks and detours than you do green lights.  Maybe the no's are all you hear and you wonder if this dream is even of God.

I don't know.  I wonder this myself.  But I do know God wants me and you to remember there is always a time for blooming and the process before, the in between space of slow growth, is necessary and a way of life and to life. 

The life stirring within, the workings of slow growth, are the workings of resilience, endurance, patience and really for me, I see, it reminds me that it's not in my strength, my navigatings that make it possible, but it is the Spirit of God and His timing of when blooming, of dreams and passions finding their way to full blooming, happens.

It's about Him and not me.

And in a small way I realize that dreams and passions can happen in ways that are different than how I would imagine them to be.  I think this is how I want it to look like or be and God says, "No, this is the way I want to use it."  Sometimes I believe, that the slow workings of growth happen so that I can adjust to the ways of God.

Also, as I reread the writings of my journals, I see this slow growth unfolding and I marvel at it all.  I marvel at my God who works within and in slow and sure ways.  He works in good ways and I'm learning to trust Him.  There are still moments, I wait with impatience, I may dig up the dirt a bit to 'help' it grow; but really, that only leads to stress and anxiety. 

Slow growth is a learning to rest, to trust the heart of God in my story and the chapters I find myself in.  It's enjoying the 'boring' sentences, the ones that help to understand and make the story more full.

God is good.  His workings of growth are good.

Life stirs within, that's where life really happens and what we see is only a result of this truest form of life within.

Winter is where something waits beneath - the whole story does not show.

In spring, the unseen, what was waiting beneath, becomes visible and bears fruit.

And what is unseen, the life within, determines what becomes visible.

I don't know where this finds you today?  Maybe you're in a season of 'summer' where dreams and passions are a reality.  But maybe, just maybe you are 'stomping' with impatience at the closed doors, the roadblocks.  I want to say, "It's okay.  Let's take a deep breath together and remember God.  Together let's remind each other that it is about God and He sees the right time, He's doing the good work of slow growth in our hearts; and it is good."

The reality is, even in the 'blooming' of our dreams and passions; there are times we wonder if we heard right?  Is this really what I am to be doing?  John the Baptist had a moment like that as he sat in prison.  He was given a specific calling, a definite ministry and still, as he sat there, he wondered if Jesus really is the Son of God, the One they were waiting for, the One he had been declaring about and preparing the way for.

Satan, the enemy of our souls, delights in getting us derailed from God; from seeing Him and staying with Him.

So, go outside and look up.  Look up and smile and offer your worship of thanks to God who loves us deeply and wants us to know that it is because of Him.  Soak in the sun and the Son.

This morning I read some words written long ago, words given to Zechariah about Zerubbabel, who was helping to rebuild the house of God.  God told him, "Tell Zerubbabel, 'It' not by might or power, but by My Spirit."  So they MAY KNOW that I, the LORD OF HOSTS has sent me to you.'  (Zechariah 4:6,9)

This season of waiting, of in between is a season to KNOW more of God.  It's not about your blooming and producing, but about letting the truest form of life stir and happen within.

When We See the, But God, In Our Story

 

But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place?  And as for you, you meant evil against me, BUT GOD meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.  So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your littles ones."  So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.  Genesis 50:19-21

He said similar words years before when he revealed himself to his brothers... "Don't be angry or grieved with yourselves... FOR GOD sent me before you to preserve life." Genesis 45:5

Joseph saw God in his story and it made all the difference in his life and story.

Those words spoken about you aren't truthful, but God...

I have cancer, but God...

Those people rejected me, but God...

Someone else received the applause or promotion, but God...

Put in the hard you are walking through, but choose to look beyond to see God in the story.  Look beyond to the possibilities of what God may do.  That may be too difficult right now as the muck of the hard is too much; that's ok, simply choose to stay with God, trusting Him that He is in your story.

As I think of all that Joseph walked through, the hatred, the selling to a strange people and ending up in Egypt, resisting temptation then ending in prison because of words spoken that were not truthful, being forgotten by a fellow inmate and at the end of it all; he could say the words... "you meant it for evil, but God... meant it for life."

He saw God in his story and it kept him from bitterness and retaliation.  When I loose sight of God in my story, at how big He really is; I get stuck, mired in the pain and all too quickly I walk in the muck of self-pity and revengeful thoughts.

For a bit the waves of the storm threatened to take over, I lost sight of how big my God is and discouragement set in. 

Look at your problem and God becomes smaller. Look at God and your storm diminishes.

And I'm reminded of Peter, the moment he walked on the stormy waters to Jesus was also the moment he sank when he looked at the stormy waters. But he cried out to Jesus and Jesus stretched out His arm to save him. 

The way of God is the way to life.  God is still in the life-preserving business.  

With God there is no room for retaliation because there is always a bigger picture happening.  The hard part for me is to trust God, I mean really trusting Him and looking beyond to the possibilities of, but God.

In a Leap of Faith We Discover Our Wings

 

In the call of faith, that faith pleases God; there are times when this feels oh, so scary.  Because faith in the trenches requires something very different than the faith when the sun is shining.

This is a piece of my wrestling with faith in a really hard season.

Lord, 

I have heard the saying that when one takes the leap of faith,

One may fly.

(You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.)

But, Lord, is that always really so???

What if I fall??

(Underneath are the everlasting arms.  I will catch you.)

What if I crash???

(I am sent to heal the broken hearted.  To bind up the wounds.)

Lord.  You are there.  Here.  In every situation.

I am no where that You are not.

Nothing happens haphazardly.

You want to redeem any situation.

You want me to know You.

To know more of Your compassion and grace.

Because of that, if to know You more…

And to know more compassion and grace and love…

Is learned through pain

Then I lean towards You as You allow pain and suffering and loss to happen.

To bring redemption.  In my heart.

To reveal more of what me is really like,

(my heart is deceitful)

 so that Your Glory may be seen, purging and shining on.

When I learn to trust Your heart and to believe Your love.  Again and again.

When I choose to believe Your Greater Truth.  Again.

Then I fly.

Fly above the rejection, the loss, and the hard.

Soar beyond the pain.

I learn that You are my comforter.

That Your peace passes understanding.

That Your love surrounds me.

I learn that I will be okay.  Because the One who promises to carry us in His arms is faithful.

Thank you, Lord.  I adore You.

I can FLY!!  

Sometimes the only way to truly being alive - is to LEAP...

The One who delights in our faith is faithful.  Maybe, today, you need to take the leap of faith...

go ahead, for His arms are truly there to surround you and eventually, you will fly.

If you can't today, that's ok.  He won't let you alone, but will continue to woo you...  keep choosing to believe.  Keep holding on to His hand when you feel all of life is slipping...

Because of His love we can trust and believe Him!!

The Walk of Faith is Not a Walk by Sight

 

Hebrews 11:6 says to us, And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

One morning as I sat, wrestling with the path I was on, aching with the losses and what was being required of me, I felt the whisper, the stirring of God as the thought took form in my mind, 'Faith pleases Me'.

Faith is one of those words that's easy until it's not.  It's easy to say, "Have faith, believe."  And sometimes it is easy to do that; but sometimes it's not.  Sometimes faith is stepping when the sun is shining and it's a delight.  But sometimes taking the next step is falteringly taken, have little to no clue what is around the bend, who may come flying at you on a bike or just the right timing and two of you collide.  Sometimes, to keep walking is actually excruciating to my self protection and to let go is one of the scariest things.  To some, there may the adventurous one who delights in seeing what's ahead or around the bend; go, live in that.

But I think if we are all honest with ourselves, there is something that causes us to stop and wonder if this is the right path?  Is it safe? (insert - no it won't always be 'safe', but that doesn't mean it's a wrong place - but it will always be a place of rest, even in the storm.)  What's ahead?  Do I have what it takes?  How will I know what to do?

All those questions are ok and a part of our human wrestling in our minds.  But I have learned and am continuing to learn, that I can keep taking steps because of the One who walks WITH me.  I also know that as I walk with Jesus, I can converse with Him about my questions and fears.  (Sometimes, I might more like, drag my feet or even stomp them...)

Jesus, our Way, my Way, is also the Guide and Shepherd of our way, and we can take that next step.

It thrills me.  No, I don't like foggy and murky hard, but I am so delighted to know that in those moments, I am not a victim, I am walking with the Victor and when I keep in step with Him, listening to His voice, I find my way, the Way.

Those times when faith is one of the most difficult things to put into practice, we can tell God that.  I picture myself stopping and having a conversation with God, my Father, about how I can't go on, of all that is scary and what all hurts.

And sometimes, it's all legit; but He gently whispers, reminding me of Himself, that He is with me and it's okay.  If I stay with Him, if I keep taking steps, He holds my hand, steadying my faltering steps.

He is faithful. He is a faithful Guide and Keeper of our souls.  He will see us safely to the end.

You know, it's a lot like being blindfolded in a game, where you have someone giving you instructions or even holding your arm and giving directions.  You take faltering steps, cautious steps, but if you follow carefully what is said or lean on the one holding your arm; you get to where you need to go, one step at a time.

The same is with Jesus.  If we stay with Him, we will get to where we need to go, even when we can't see the way.  But we must trust Him and know that He is good.

We walk by faith, not by sight. II Corinthians 5:7  Faith is our shield and a shield is moveable, always keeping it in front of us as we face the darts of fear, doubt, anxiety, etc.

Faith. Trust. Sometimes it is taking the next step towards the Father, just as a parent stands in front of their young child as they encourage them to take their first steps.  God is always encouraging us to come to Him or to stay with Him; learning more of Him in every hard part of our story.

Friend, fellow-traveler, let's keep taking steps with the One who knows the way, who is the Way, and who delights and loves each step of the way.  Tell Him everything.  Stay with Him.  And we will get to where we need to be, one step at a time.

Remembering God's Provision At Every Battle Line

 

The LORD your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the LORD your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked, until you came to this place.

But for all this, you did not trust the LORD your God, who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way you should go.

Deuteronomy 1: 30-33

 

These words were spoken by Moses to the Israelites, the people he was leading.  The first time they reached the land of promise, all forgot what God had just done for them and the countless ways He cared for them.  They saw the giants and let fear take over, pushing back the provision of God.

 

God did not take that lightly.  That group then had to wander for forty years because God said, “None of these men, this evil generation shall see the land I swore to give your fathers.” (v. 34)  The adults who didn't trust God were not allowed to enter but it would be for their children.

 

I see several things here…

One is that when we forget God’s faithfulness we are consumed by fear and anxiety.  To forget God hurts Him deeply.  He often told the Jewish nation to remember lest they forget, and we really are no different.

Another thing, is so often I think that if I would be able to talk to God or have visible proof, tangible evidence of His provisions I would trust Him.  But how often have I had those very experiences and yet, when the next big giant or hard thing comes, I question His provision.  The Israelites had obvious provisions; manna, cloud by day, fire at night, water from a rock, shoes that did not wear out; and yet they did not trust God at the edge of their promised land.

 

Caleb and Joshua were the only two who remembered God and His provision and chose to trust Him as they entered the promised land to conquer, and they were the only two from that group that would enter the land.  They were not enough to convince the people, the other eight men did that; but they were the only two adults to come to the edge of the promised land the second time and enter.

Caleb and Joshua saw the same things that the other eight men saw as they scouted out the land.  They experienced the same provisions that everyone else experienced.  But previous provision to the eight men and the whole tribe faded in the presence of this new reality; the giants, the prosperity.

 

Tangible evidence of God’s love can be faith builders, stepping-stones for us but they may not be what we anchor our faith in, because just like the Israelites, we are very prone to reach for fear in the presence of something that seems so insurmountable.  God's provisions aren't always visible, sometimes they are behind the scenes or underground doing a hidden work in our hearts.  If tangible evidence would be enough, it would've been enough for this Jewish nation.

We, too, need to remember.  Remembering who God was in an anchor for today.  Our faithful God is the same.

 

God, through His Holy Spirit, gives us the power to be a victor and not a victim.  Because of Him we can enter the battleground because we know Who leads us.  Like David who saw the giant as someone who was defying God and to be conquered and the rest of the army would shrink back in fear at his formidable stance and cry.  Joshua and Caleb viewed the prosperity and giant of people as someone God gave them to conquer because of His promise.

When we remember His promises, His truths, we can step forward in confidence because He is with us and will fight for us.

One thing, it may not always look like you want it to.  You may not always have the present tangible evidence, but you can remember previous provisions and know with confidence that that is still the same, today, right now in your new and present reality.

Another Year, The Unknowns That Lie Before Us Gives Us A Choice

 

I don't know about you, but me, when I'm asked to trust Jesus it's easy to say the words when not much is at stake, but in the trenches, my heart rushes towards fear. F.E.A.R.

From my often morning place of time with my Father, I see branches that in the morning light form the letter F.  Fear of all that was looming and is at times still looming.  Relationships fraught with tight pain.  I want to manage, to fix what is broken, to keep things from breaking, but, it's not mine to do.  It leaves me fraught with anxiety and stress.

There's another F word, Faith.  

That morning and many mornings that followed, I have a choice as I face the day, another year, Fear or Faith.  Which one will I reach for??

The way may oft times be laden with unclear, dark moments, but I know we have One who goes with us each step of the way.  He is the Way!  He parts waters, walks on waters, and calms storms.  He is the same today, tomorrow and each day!

One particular morning I was more fragile, weary, and worn in the battle, laying on the ground, wondering what I was to do?  Do I keep fighting or let go?  Oh, another F word (and by now, no I'm not swearing), Fight!

Faith. Fear. Fight.

I asked the Lord, "What do I do?"

(Fight, my daughter, fight) How do I keep fighting?  In Ephesians 6 we have the armour of God and in verse seventeen we are told the the sword of the Spirit is the word of God.

So, I take the word of God and wield my sword, even from the ground.

And then, I'm rallied by friends and family, coming alongside to aid in the battle to fight.

Friends, this new year that we're standing on the threshhold of can so easily have us reaching for fear and then control to manage it all.

But there is another choice, Faith, and that requires a letting go and a choosing to walk a path where many steps are not very clear, except to stay with Him, the Way because His steps are sure and confident.

Friends, I don't know what pain or ache or trauma your soul may be carrying, but I do know the One who we can be confident loves us and cares for us each step of the way, even if the steps are rocky and they cut deep.  

Picture with me as we're taking a hike.  The summer of 2023 our family took a trip west and did many a hike.  A lot of the hikes had easy places to walk, others places were quite the feat to master.  And sometimes my husband would take my hand to steady me along the way or my Majestick walking stick kept me quite steady as the way beneath my feet was anything but smooth.

So, our Father, with us, steadying, holding, encouraging us when the way beneath us is anything but clear or smooth.

As we step into 2024, we have a choice in our Fight - Faith or Fear.

And so I do both... I fight and I let go.  I let it go to God and wield my sword, the words of God.  As  only God can untangle all that is, I stay with Him and choose to believe His words with Faith and I Fight...

The Way Came to Show Us the Way

 

Jesus came.

Why? Why did He come?  He could have spoken words, created something, or did something else to make a way back to Him.  After all, He created the world out of nothing and with the spoken word.  He formed man with His hands out of dust.  He could have stayed in heaven and spoken words, used His hands to form something, but no, instead He came.

He came to show us the way back to Him and the way of His upside-down kingdom.  He came and used His hands to touch the leper. the blind, the lame with healing.  He touched, He cared, He lived the way.  He told us that we are to love, to care for those around us like He does, giving it because He loved us, unhinged on the behaviour of another. (Note, this is not condoning abuse or saying boundaries are not in order.  This is from the perspective of insult, our people not coming through for us like we'd like or they should.  We all fall short.  There is a difference between damaging relationships and simply human-fault ones.)

Jesus was ridiculed, slandered, rejected, denied, and betrayed.  Yet, He still loved, stretching out His arms and giving His life.  This sacrifice is for all and is open-ended on His part, because He is love. He gives love in the sunsets and sunrises.  He gives love in the grace extended and the invitation that is always open for  us to come to Him.  He stays with us even when we at times stray from Him in our disappointments, etc.  His love is not given considering my behaviour, His love is given because He is love.

He came because actions speak louder than words.  He came for you and me. 

This Christmas season, let that settle in your heart.  Let His love go deep and take it for what it is, His unconditional love.  Let it ground your doubts, settle the unrest of your soul, and whisper it's truth deep within. 

It will be the way through because He is the Way.

He is the Truth, and the Way and this reality brings us Life, because we have Him.