The Partnering Duo of Weakness and Strength

 

We like to be strong.  Or should I say, I like to be strong, competent, and able to accomplish a task.  To be weak is to need someone’s help and what if I’m a bother or they don’t even want to help?  What if I am not able to do the task that is in front of me and I am asked to do? We don't have to live long to know that weakness isn't a glamorous trait or one that leaves us feeling confident. Weakness hurts. The weak animal in the wild woods doesn't usually survive. We say that survival is for the fittest. We do all kinds of things to be strong and competent.

Needing help is a vulnerable feeling and leaves me at the mercy of something or someone else.  What if they hurt me or stay away or even walk away? What if I don't survive?

I’ve been in places where I felt trapped, helpless, a victim to circumstances and no one came.  To be needy is a dangerous place to be, I tell myself.  Then I feel the push pull of wanting someone to help me with the confidence to do it on my own. (The weakness I am speaking of is not one of abuse or a victim mentality.  It’s the weakness that leaves you feeling less than, or one where you messed up one more time, or where you feel like you just can’t do it, or are given instructions to not do it. It's the space where another's strength is needed.)

Today is a week post-op for me.  I went home with instructions to not lift more than 10 lbs.  I went home with incisions and changes inside of me.  I slept, walked carefully, sat on a chair more than anything else.  I asked for others to do things or leave it undone. Meals were brought in and I watched a friend vacuum my carpeted floor.  I sat while seeing work that needed to be done and all I could do was look at it or rather look away or sleep some more so I don't have to see what needed to be finished before winter settled in for good.

Weakness.  Ugh, I don’t like it.  But I’ll be honest, parts of it were fun.  I liked the meals brought in and yet I worried that I was a bother to someone else.  I could sit with no guilt because I was supposed to.

As I had much time to think about the needy place I was in, the verse Paul wrote, in response to his request that his thorn in the flesh be removed, came to my mind.  2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

Jesus declared to Paul that in the weakness he feels and experiences, the strength of Himself could be seen.  The power of Jesus was perfected in Paul’s weakness. 

The response of Paul to this was, “I will then gladly boast in my weakness so that the power of Christ may dwell within me.”

To know weakness is to give space for the opportunity of strength.  To know a need is to create the opportunity to partner with the strength of Jesus - His grace.

As I sat, watching my friend vacuum the carpet, she had the opportunity to show her strength in my weak and need-filled hour.  The dirt on the floor had been bothering me.  When she offered, I had a choice to make.  I could brush it off and tell her, “it’s okay, someone will get it later”  or I could accept the offer she held out to me.

I chose to allow her to vacuum my floor.  It felt strange to sit while watching her vacuum.  In the same way that it had felt strange to have people bring me food for our evening meals.  In all reality, I could’ve found a way to do what needed to be done.  In some ways, that would feel safer.  Why?  I actually found myself thinking that if they knew how good I felt they wouldn’t think it necessary to bring in a meal.  The reality is, through them sharing and bringing me and my family food, I felt cared for.  Community was taking place and God was touching a tender place in my heart.

Something is starting to stir within my heart - what if weakness is really the space and opportunity to partner with someone else?  What if I start to see weakness not as a failure, an inconvenience but as an opportunity?

I am glad to help someone who needs help and I don’t think less of them.  Why then, when it’s me, I feel like such a bother?  (Hence, my own broken story tells the paradigm.  Sometimes, we’ve been told such in one way or another.  Maybe the past holds the reality of being alone and needing to find a way.)

I felt the nudge, the stirring of God, maybe wanting to rewrite the paradigm of my story.  So, I am tentatively trying to listen and to pay attention.   I think back to a visit of two older ladies, who said to me, “Just let us care for you.  We want to.”  Tears burn my eyes as I surrender a bit more to my weakness and partner with the strength of someone else.

This duo of strength and weakness, is a continual ebb and flow, a fragile and sacred dance.  Sometimes it’s me giving and other times it’s you giving.  Sometimes it’s me receiving and other times it’s you receiving.  All the while the push pull of wanting to not be needy, to cover my weakness and to show my strength.

But most of all, it’s partnering with Jesus.  People are limited.  People miss us and don’t always help us when we need it.  I remember other times when I could’ve really used help and the world around me laid silent, void of human aid.  Someone had other things to do, opportunities were missed.  We’re left feeling wounded, missed and can so easily make declarations of never opening up in our weakness to need help.

That is a space where I discovered the grace of God, the deep, overflowing and overwhelming grace of God.  I call them Jesus spaces.

God wants to be needed.  If I am always strong and able to do something, then God is never needed.  If humans are always there and get it right for me, then why need God?   It is truly as we own and feel and accept our weakness, that we can know the strength of God.

Truly our weakness when partnered with God and His strength knows a grace that exceeds all boundaries and heals us in ways we never dreamt possible.

Paul gladly accepted his weakness so he could know the power of God.  I open my hand a bit more and surrender to this truth that in my weakness I can know the power of God.

I surrender to the reality that the partnering duo of weakness and strength creates space for a beauty and grace that I want to know.

But to know strength, I must know weakness.  Thank you, Jesus, for Your grace that is sufficient.  It’s a daily, manna grace that feeds us enabling us to rise and with confidence declare that we accept our weakness so You can be strong, Your power and strength dwelling in each of us.

Our Jagged Edges Find Their Place

 

Jagged Edges

Our life’s story once held edges that were clean and smooth

Their shape and lines told of joy.

Their shape made sense in many ways.

They fit, at least for a time.

It may have been a brief moment.

Then for some reason, one day, 

Death, sorrow, and pain disrupted that edge

Leaving it broken, shattered, and jagged.

My story line ripped and broke

And with its jagged edges, it left me bleeding.

My broken pieces, the jagged line

Don’t fit in that box.

Their edges pierce.

They bear a story that is worth listening to

But I am scared, shivering, and wondering.

What if you get too close, will you walk away?

My pieces and edge hurt me, they will hurt you.

I try a piece of purple cloth, wrapping it around me

hoping its royalty will cover those edges.

I straighten my hair, find an article of clothing that I feel good in.

Tomorrow, I try white, hoping to feel the thrill of clean.

I sing. I work. I create.

All the while, hoping it is seen more than my edges.

But it doesn't work.

The edges pierce the cloth.

Broken and jagged edges aren’t mended or healed by being discarded

They invite us to walk the hard path.

They invite us to step into bravery, donning on courage.

Courage to face them, run our fingers over the edges

And listen.

Listen to what they say.

Listen to the story they are trying to tell us.

Looking at them with tears,

Holding them and giving them a space to be.

What about your edges?  

What if I get close?

Yes, they will hurt.

The question is - 

Will you - Will I - don on courage?

Will we wrap it about us like a cloak,

Braving the jagged edges that our stories hold?

Will we allow them to take space and not fit in a box?

Our story edges are asking for a place to be.

In that place they break a bit more, smoothing the edge just a bit,

And we discover the jagged becomes a little less sharp.

Our broken pieces and jagged edges 

Are not the whole story.

When we invite Jesus to sit with us,

Giving Him the jagged edged pieces –

He, in the way that only He can,

Fits those pieces back into our story

And they become part of the whole redeeming paradigm.

His hands and feet bear the marks of a broken edge.

His side was pierced 

And His head bears the marks of the crown of thorns.

He was pierced.

He was broken.

For you and for me.

He is not afraid of your jagged edges.

He wants to touch them with His gentle, gracious, and healing touch.

He wants to whisper to you –

In My hands I will fit them into a masterpiece of redemption.

- words by Judith Lapp

The Lord is near the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18

Cast all your care in Him, for He cares for you. I Peter 5:7

The mission of Jesus was and is to heal, to revive the smoking flax, and to set the prisoner free. Isaiah 42:3 & 61:1

There are times we need His healing touch on wounded and bleeding hearts. Like the woman who bled physically for 12 years, we too bleed. We bleed inside from a harsh word spoken to us. Maybe our parents spoke words of shame and condemnation. Those friends in school may have left us on the edge. That job you really wanted was given to someone else. Maybe you simply wonder where in this big world do I fit?

There are also those times that life just kinda snuffs the life within and we close our hearts as we shut down to protect ourselves. Life feels to raw to be vulnerable. 

And then in the middle of all that we lock ourselves in.  We make declarations and try a little harder to look good, to be an asset, and all the while we feel the chains. The chains of "I will never", "I will not..."  Bitterness can so quickly take its hold as we remember the injustices and pain. 

Our stories hold pieces that may be out of our control, like when we're little and someone big took advantage of us in any way. Our stories may hold the silent bleeding of wanting to fit in, in this big world. Our stories may hold the "too soon taking- away" of someone we love. 

Whatever pain shattered the edges of your joy and live and life, know that it matters. 

Let's sit for a moment, tracing those jagged edges.

Now let's reach, like that bleeding woman did those many years ago. She reached toward Jesus with faith. She thought, "If I could but touch the hem of His garment, I could find healing. "  Let's reach toward him. With faith. I imagine her reach may have been cautious but bold. It was done in and among the throng of people, very likely not wanting to be seen. 

I wonder if she expected to simply go home, healed and changed?

Faith, a belief in Jesus, is all you need in the midst of your broken pieces. 

Because Jesus is the master Healer and He takes those pieces you cast on Him and in the way that only He can, He fits them together to make something new.  Isaiah 43:19, reminds us that He does something new, rivers in the desert and roadways in the wilderness. 

Our story from the past is fit together with our story of today.  Jesus blends and fits the pieces together to tell a new story, a redemption story. We don't need to discard one for the other or even choose one above the other, but they can become one to make a whole. 

You will very likely be left in awe and wonderment at what healing just took place. You will join the many people who experienced Jesus's love, gentle grace, and healing touch and were in awe.  I know I have and it's possible for you too.

Much love, 

Judith 

The Faithful Presence of God Who Remains Nearby

 

There's this scene in the movie, "Guiding Emily", where Emily is walking by herself, scared, cautious, but courageous.  Emily is blind.  She became blind after a fall.  

She's an adult, a sufficient and confident adult.  Now, she needs to navigate the world, blind, without her natural eyesight.  She's been in a School for the Blind learning with the help of another person.  She's spent the past two months learning how to walk with a cane as she was linked to another person.  

One day, the guide says, "It's time."  "It's time to cut the tie."  Emily tenses, unsure of what is about to happen.  The guide tells her it's time to do it on her own.  She says, "See you back at the school" and walks away.  Tossing these words over her shoulder, "You have the tools, you know what to do.  Listen for the shadow sounds."  

Emily pauses, takes a few steps forward very carefully, and proceeds onward, tapping her cane along the way.  She comes to a street with cars driving by.  She stops before stepping out as she taps her cane.  A car zooms past her.  She begins to take a step, then pausing she steps back, turning as she hears the shadow sounds.  She turns to her right and taking a few steps only to bump into a street pole and falls.

Nearby and watching, stand her guide and friend.  Her friend wants to go and help but the guide says, "Wait.  She's okay.  If you step in and help she'll never learn to be confident.  She has the tools."

Oh, friend, this brings tears and I see how much I am like Emily.  Scared and yet gingerly tapping my way through the darkness, the fog, or what may not make sense.

The diagnosis you received.

Words spoken to you that want to define you.

Maybe the job, position, or friendship you longed for passed you by.

It may even be the situation you find yourself in simply doesn't match the faith or perspective that you believed in. 

How can life be anything different than what it once was?

Do I even know how to move forward, living again?

When I have to walk a hard path and I can't see and Jesus says, "I'll see you back at the house."  I may panic and say, "I can't.  I'm not ready for this."  

Jesus says, "Yes, you are.  You have the tools.  Remember what I said and listen."  

He then stands nearby.  

I have this hunch that you can relate as well to Emily.  Finding yourself in situations where you are stumbling and wondering where in the world is Jesus.  

Jesus is watching and nearby.  He isn't stepping in because you just may need to learn to walk in the darkness and see Him in a whole new way.  Jesus isn't silent to be mean and uncaring.  Jesus is silent because He wants you to discover Him, trusting Him and believing the words He has said to give you a confidence and a hope in the darkness.

Emily never recovers her eyesight.  She does recover her confidence.  She learned how to do what she once did with eyesight, differently.  She conquered and now walks with confidence and a hope, and a cane; experiencing life fully and yet in the the dark.

She has learned to "see" with her ears and touch.  She isn't the same, she is stronger.

We, too, will be changed from whatever we walk through.  God wants to change us from glory to glory and it most times happens in the dark and painfilled happenings.  It happens in the walking and discovering the power and life of the tools we have - the words of Jesus.  We learn to see around us with new eyes, maybe even using our ears instead.

To stay with Him in the hardships we must begin to know Him, today.  Read His words in the Bible.  There are many truths and promises that tell us about Himself that we can anchor our hearts and minds in when the tempests blow and the darkness keeps us from seeing clearly or anything at all.

God stands nearby. 

Rooted to Grow

The hard circumstances that have been present for so long assail me again, as once more a decision needs to be made. Hardship that impacts me leaves me feeling raw and vulnerable and reeling from their impact.

My heart wrestles with fear, again, even as I lean toward Jesus, the One who has been faithful to lead and to love well.

Then my mind travels to a scene I see repeated as I walk among the nature that God has created - growth, beauty - right in the middle of hard places. Rocks, stoney ground, hard packed soil that doesn’t keep growth from happening.

When I want to be out of a hard situation and when I want God to remove either me from the situation or the situation from me, I think of these scenes.

What allows or causes a plant to grow and bloom? How can it prosper when the conditions are less than good or the best?

When I go to plant my flowers in the springtime season, I will tend to the soil, giving it the best possible chance to grow and bloom. So, seeing such beauty among rocks, catches me.

Somewhere this plant is rooted in something I can’t see that is life-giving. Its root system matters. And I remember mine matters too.

Ephesians 3:17-19 says, “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fulness of God.”

If a plant can grow and bloom on a rock, could I, just maybe be right where God wants me to grow and bloom among the hardship where I find myself?

When I would rather have the situation taken away, does God want to infuse me with His power and strength so I can grow right in the midst of what I would rather not be in?

How do I grow? What does that look like?

Jesus grew. He kept increasing in wisdom and stature. (Luke 2:52)

Jesus cares about my growth in understanding who He is. He desires me to know Him and to learn of Him. Matthew 11:29 tells us that when we learn of Him we will find rest for our souls. It’s not saying rest from my circumstances, but rest for my soul.

Within the pages of God’s word, He tells us many things that are so opposite of what I as a human would think should work to produce life. Many times the disciples and people that lived in the days of Jesus found that to be the same; opposite of what they wanted. They desired to be rescued from the harsh Roman rule. They expected their Saviour to deliver them in physical and conquering ways.  

Jesus’ way of life and to life was opposite to the way they thought would be life-giving and freedom and so it is for me, too.

He came to free us in our souls from tyranny, bondage, and hardships. 

Love your enemies. Pray for them.

Go the second mile.

Romans 12:9-21 lists many opposites of what I would like to do, such as, love without hypocrisy, bless those who persecute you, never take your own revenge, if your enemy is hungry - feed him, and so on.

Return good for evil. 

Forgive, releasing the desire for revenge to God.

The list goes on.

Freedom and growth that is so opposite to our human way of thinking. 

Growth, blooming, and learning the way of God causes my heart to wrestle, to draw back as I think of very hard circumstances that make my heart cringe. This does not come naturally for me. Fear and anxiety come swiftly as painful memories rise to the surface wanting to snuff out life.

I see a theme emerging, the root system matters more than conditions. Somewhere there was a spot of healthy soil that allowed growth. I start to open up to the possibilities that lie within the not-so-desired circumstances that surround me. Just like those plants that thrive amidst the stones and hard packed soil, I too, can grow, bloom, and thrive when Jesus’ love takes root in my heart.

That is the key, the foundation, the only way we can possibly grow in circumstances which soil is less than desirable; is to know Jesus. To know we are loved by a faithful Father and sustaining God enables us to live with abundant life that comes from being rooted and grounded, connected to the One who is Life.

To know God, to be filled with all of His fullness I must be with Him and so I read His words. I ask for courage and strength to believe Him when the doubts and fears assail my heart and mind. 

I can only do and live like He has modeled for us and asks us to do because of Him.

I take a moment to sit with the Father and let Him speak over me with His love. I pray for courage to stay with Him and I ask Him to open my eyes so I can understand a bit more of His mysterious and life-giving ways.  

My friend and fellow-sojourner, I pray the same for you. That today, in whatever you are walking through in this one life we get to live, that you may know God’s love and ground your heart, mind, and soul in this life-giving truth. Rooted and grounded in love and to know God’s love so you can be filled with all of His fullness.  

Connected to Him is the only way to life and to have life within us. Growing, blooming - right where you and I are planted.

Broken Pieces In The Hands Of Our Redeemer

Pieces lay scattered, after they fell.  Shells, broken by the waves and the breaking open to release what is inside.  Sometimes, the pieces are shattered beyond putting back together.  

What do we do when our lives resemble broken and sometimes shattered pieces??  Brokenness that leaves me feeling broken and stunned, often without words.

Is there any hope? Is there any purpose that remains?

We wonder.  We grieve, but because of Jesus - there is - a purpose.  There is hope and something that - can still be - in the midst of broken, and hard, and shattered pieces.

Japanese art called, Kintsugi, is the method of taking the broken pieces and melding them together with a gold substance.  The end result is something completely different, no longer the same but a new beauty that now includes the broken.  The broken, in the hands of the one who is creating something else, finds new beauty with the pieces he holds.

Jesus holds out His hands and says, "Bring them to Me."  

In His hands, the broken pieces find new meaning and a new purpose.  In His hands, possibilities lie within the rubble.

The finished product is whole and complete again.  The finished product is the broken and wholeness combined to find its new purpose, useful and beautiful.

After our breakings, there is hope when we take the pieces to Jesus and allow Him to reshape, make something new with the broken pieces.  The end product won't be the same, but it will include the broken and wholeness, melded together with gold that's be tried in the furnace and held in the hands of a loving and faithful God who is our Father.

But Jesus must have the pieces.

Bring Them Here To Me

 

The crowd met Jesus on the shore side as He was enroute to the mountain to be alone.  He just heard of His friend, John the Baptist's death and needed some time alone.  Alone with His Father.

This crowd that met Him, moved Jesus, and He felt compassion along with His grief.  He took the time to heal, all day actually.

At the end of the day, the disciples wanted to send the crowd away to find something to eat, but Jesus told them to feed the people.

Tired.

Hungry.

A long day.

How in the world and with what would they feed this crowd??!!

The disciples told Jesus that we only have five loaves and two fish, how in the world will that feed all of these people??

Jesus said five words, "Bring them here to Me."  Matthew 14:18 (NAS)

With those pieces, He broke them and fed five thousand men plus women and children.  Over five thousand were satisfied that evening.  Jesus took what was and multiplied it to be enough.

Jesus also wants the broken pieces.  He wants to bring wholeness, healing, and redemption to what lays shattered around us.

He came to set the prisoner free. Free from bitterness, pain, and unforgiveness.  He came to bind up the wounded and brokenhearted.  He cares.  He wants to bring healing.  (Isaiah 42:3)

But we have to want it.  He cannot do anything with the pieces whether they be whole or if they are broken unless we bring them to Him.

Bring what hurts.

Bring the little you have.

Bring what you hold in your hand (within your heart). The anxiety. Fears. Doubts. Your faith.  Your trust in Him. Your desire to know Him.

And watch what He does with it.

Do the thing - whether it be noticed or not.  Whether it is 'big or small'.

Spend time with our Father.

Make the choice to believe Him.

Speak the word of encouragement.

Take the cup of water to someone.

Pick up the piece of trash.

Rejoice with the success of another.

Weep along with someone in their sorrow.

Go to Jesus with what you have and see what He will do - breaking what you have for more and to reach in places you had no idea could be reached or tenderly taking the broken pieces you bring with tears - to create beauty out of the ashes and pain.

With Jesus, we will be satisfied.  He will satisfy us in the places of our heart and soul where it matters the most.  He is the Living Water that quenches and satisfies.

Take a moment with Him.  Know Him, right now, in the middle of the hard and in the joyous moments.  Stay with Him and find His satisfying love to be enough for you. (Psalm 90:14)

The Unfair and Radical Grace of Forgiveness and Its Impact

 

The word - forgiveness - stirs up various forms of reactions.  There are many thoughts, books, topics, etc about the subject of forgiveness.  I acknowledge there are nuances to this but in all of the dynamics and reactions, it is a command, a principle that Jesus talked about and lived out and we do well to pay attention to this unfair and radical grace.

It's a grace we all like to receive.  We want to be forgiven by someone.  We don't want others to hold our shortcomings, our mistakes, our failures against us.  We want redemption for ourselves. 

As we look at the parable of the unforgiving servant, we see how hard it is to give the same gift of grace to the very people we do life with.  We give judgement instead.

This story of the servant, in Matthew 18:21-35, who was forgiven his debt by the king, in return demanded another servant to pay all to him invites us to see what happens when we don't allow the grace of forgiveness to truly impact our own heart.  Jesus tells this parable in response to Peter's question of how often should we forgive a brother.

For those who may never have heard or read the story I invite you to read it for yourself and between you and God find your way in your own story of pain that you are walking through and through the release of making someone pay - find your own freedom.

There was a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants and discovered a man who owed an enormous debt of money, millions.  The man had no means with which to pay all that he owed and declared for more time to pay it all.  It says the lord or the king felt compassion.  In that compassion space, the king chose to release the servant from needing to pay.  

Oh, I can only imagine the relief and joy that the servant felt, but really, I wonder if he felt that at all.  Because it says that as he left he went out and found another servant who owed him money, not nearly as much as the debt that was just released for himself.  He demanded the fellow servant to pay all - NOW!   The man pleaded with him for more time to pay, but no, into prison he was put.

The king upon hearing of this treatment was upset and then handed the unforgiving servant over to authorities until payment should be made.

I am not going to tell you the how and when of forgiveness.  Each of our stories is a process.  

Maybe it will help to view forgiveness as a release.  It's a release of a debt that someone should pay.  We humans don't do well with doling out justice.  It so quickly and easily becomes about revenge and making the person pay.

To be honest, forgiveness, I don't completely understand with my human mind.  It feels like when I release the demand that justice be served I am letting someone off the hook and that feels unfair.  But then I remember how I like forgiveness and so - in reality - I am left off the hook and I appreciate that.  

I also am realizing that anytime Jesus tells us to do something and it doesn't make sense to me - then it must be the radical and upside down way of Jesus.  I am learning to trust Him and choose His ways.  They lead to life.

Forgiveness is releasing revenge.

Forgiveness is trusting God with justice.

Forgiveness is not demanding justice to be paid because far too often and usually justice is never enough.

Forgiveness is weeping with the injustice and pain of brokenness here on earth.

Forgiveness is holding out my hands to God - opening them up and releasing all that hurts to receive His radical grace of strength and grace to forgive.

Timothy Keller states that human forgiveness is completely dependent on divine forgiveness.  And I totally agree with that.  My own experience of grace impacting my heart deeper, influenced my thoughts toward others, which in turn, affected my actions.

I have said it before and will say it again, "You cannot give what you do not have.  You give what you hold inside."

To forgive in any way and to any extent, we must first experience His love and forgiveness that changes us.

If I have water in my bucket, water will come out.  If there is grape juice in my glass, grape juice I will drink. So, to echo what Timothy said is, yes, any amount of releasing and living out this unfair and radical grace, we must first of all experience it in our own hearts to be able to trust God with any outcomes.

I've had my own "Gethsemane " moments of wrestling to live God's ways.  The only way possible to love and forgive and offer grace is first of all to understand what Jesus has given us and to receive it with gratefulness. And then offer that to each other.

Forgiveness is the releasing of any 'debt' which breaks a link in the chains - most of all in our own lives.  We will either transform pain or transfer pain to others. 

Unforgiveness, holding on to justice before healing will transfer the pain.  

In a way that is mysterious to my human mind, forgiveness actually releases me to truly live - therefore transforming the pain.

Forgiveness is not overlooking something.  Actually in the story the judge named how much the servant owed him.  It's okay to say what hurt and what the wrong is.

Forgiveness is not saying it doesn't hurt anymore.  

Forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt but releasing the demand that the offender pay and turning my heart and mind to the truths of God.  He says, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay" Hebrews 10:30.

Davey Blackburn when asked how he could forgive the ones who murdered his wife, he said that it was when he saw the offenders as humans, boys with stories.

Forgiveness can only take place when we allow ourselves to empathize (yes, I know... so unfair) for the one who hurt us.  When we can separate their actions from who they are - created beings by God, the same as me, loved with a purpose; compassion space is created.  Empathy is recognizing that "I too have wronged someone, somewhere, and sometime" and allowing that human piece to be a part of the picture.

Allowing compassion to enter our heart requires us to trust God for the justice due and realize what unfair and radical gift of forgiveness I too have received.  To see the one who hurt you as a human, as one who has value because they are created and loved by God, enables compassion to enter your heart.

This does not mean we ignore, brush over as if the pain doesn't matter, forgiveness actually names it but then releases it into the hands of Jesus for the truest form of justice.

Hurt people hurt people.  As Jesus spoke on the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do".  

Forgiveness is actually more for ourselves than for the offender.  It releases us from the chain of what happened to move forward, heal, and live abundantly.

It is an unfair and radical grace that Jesus calls us live out.  It's one I like for myself and so I am required to pass it on.